please empty your brain below

It is certainly very selfish behaviour, and illegal, however the law is rarely enforced for these misdemeanours, so people continue to do it.
Great stuff guys!
Whilst the issue of parked delivery vans is real, your parody of blog or forum comments is masterful
Your parody is well done, but I'd be furious if I encountered that.
In my part of town the Tesco vans that are the main offenders. They frequently drive through a rush hour only no entry sign now supposedly controlled by Tfl cameras.

I sense the firm has decided it's cheaper to pay fines than make their drivers stick to the rules. In fact there may be cost savings to the business!

In this case there used to be a physical barrier that a human being shut first thing every morning with someone else coming back at 10 to reopen the road. I guess that was deemed inefficient even though being a physical reality it was far more effective than a digital barrier.

Oh and as for dg's comments on the comments, brilliant!
But what if he was delivering cat food? Think of the kittens!
The full range of public opinion. The Vox Pops comments in my own local paper are usually more aggressive and personal however.
These opinions, parodied here, always serve to remind me why giving us all power to decide matters of national importance via a referendum is never a good idea. What could possibly go wrong ?
I encounter these problems all the time when out running. My spreadsheet shows that around here, the problem is mainly Tesco vans on the pavement, but in Hornchurch it's mainly Sainsbury's. Tesco vans win by a ratio of 3.14:1 but I'd be going around in circles if I complained and would just get the run around.

I would get out more, but blimey I do...
I know that the "Barry" in your post isn't me because I'd be the one using the word less rather than fewer not the one correcting someone else's use of it.
Modern Life is Good-ish !!!!
This is why I love this blog- hilarious.

I live near Tesco Twickenham and we regularly have huge lorries parked up over the cycle lane. One can cycle around it by going on the footpath but I would be penalised if spotted by an overzealous plod (Plod: archaic slang for policeman, deriving from historical period when law enforcers walked about enforcing the law)
“Tesco vans win by a ratio of 3.14:1 but I'd be going around in circles if I complained and would just get the run around”

Very good Running_Correspondent
The van's also totally obstructing the footway. Anyone trying to pass would have to step-off the curb and onto the highway. That's even worse if you had a pushchair or a wheelchair.

And....pavements are not designed to take the weight of vehicles. Anytime you see a section of cracked or shattered paving stones - that's been caused by a van/lorry driver parking partially/wholly on the footway.

DG, you should send thyat photo to Tesco's and suggets they might want to have a word about the behaviour oif their driver?
Yeah, that's what me and little wombat said.
The situation is so different outside London. Thouroughfares are frequently blocked by tractors, horses, cows, sheep etc. In the countryside it is considered that such obstructions should be treated with courtousy and respect as they have better reason to be there than invasive passing traffic.
I do think it funny that people think that no one other than a cyclist can use the road space designated as cycle- way. That the existence of such a lane is taken to mean the lane cannot be crossed by anything else...pedestrians included. That the cyclist, real or imagined, must have a free run at all times. Bikes without brakes apparently.
here in the Netherlands the driver would get a ticket of €320.
We take our bike lanes very seriously, don't believe me just park on one.
oh gosh ... confirmation I live in a better neighbourhood ... it's Ocado vans I see round here

Ocado deliver to Bow too
And just where has 'parked up' come from? What's wrong with 'parked'?
If this had been a genuine comments thread then I'm sure Godwin's Law would have occurred at some point due to the length it was going on for.
The calibre (sp?) of your "comments" is much higher than most I read online!!
Even when copying the rantings of an online comments section, the quality of DG's writing shines through!
@Jona26 - the law has already struck, just that the keyword is different - it's 2018 now, so we now have Brexit.

@Rory I agree that if "park up" is a phrasal verb it sound ridiculous, but it makes partial sense as an abbreviation of "park 'up the pavement'".
I have contacted Tesco; has anyone else?
Going off topic again, the queues at Canary Wharf are rather amusing, but they completely obstruct the way for the likes of me to walk up to the far end of the platform, where there may be more room to get on the train. Grrrr.
Nick W - why not walk down at the concourse rather than platform level?
Watford have a contra-flow cycle lane between King St and High Street Station. It is permanently parked and stopped on.
It's not clear from the photo but he's actually parked on the driveway to the shuttered building, not the pavement itself. It's still awful parking, but looking at street view there's not really a good place to unload. On the red route blocking both the traffic and the cycle lane, guaranteeing a fine in the post from some vile council traffic drone sat watching a CCTV screen? In the bus stop? If you allow small buildings to be replaced with vast blocks of flats then you can't be surprised that this happens when you fail to provide infrastructure for servicing those apartments.
@milkypirate: I think we should add "adequate" before "infrastructure". If London is doing more or less the same as Hong Kong, large estates do provide some ways for unload, but they probably require drivers to take tremendous detours.

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