please empty your brain below

I was living abroad one St. George's Day. After the mayhem that was St. Patrick's Day I invited the locals round for egg and cucumber sandwiches and tea. I insisted the girl wore floral dresses and the men had to wear smart casual.

Well I laughed.

I hope you cut the crusts off those sarnies

Oh yes Mam.

Cut the crusts off and served fondue fancies afterwards (couldn't get a battenburg).

Did your fondant fancies melt then?

Mmmm battenburg. Yum.

DG we need a post on battenburg please - origins, how it's made, how people eat it, that sort of thing. You'd do it so much better than me....

But I don't like battenburg.

However, it seems that I'm in a minority - Lyons battenburg is the 13th best selling cake in the UK, but well behind apple pies, cherry bakewells and Viennese whirls.

Check out the Top 25 here, and the riveting Why do people eat cake? here.

Theres always Malt Loaf

Battenburg is fucking ace. I'd love battenburg now, but there's nowhere to get battenburg here in Barcelona - where it's also Sant Jordi's day....I thinkt that's St. George's twin Catalan brother.

Toasted malt loaf ... it's gorgeous. Chewy and hot

Thought Jordi was Catalan for George (and Johann Cruyff's son's name)

and why dont we go big guns on St George's Day? ... well, 'e's a furriner, innee, bloody immigrants comin' round 'ere, tekking our patron saint's jobs, do you know how much I paid for that dragon, lawn's not been the same since, that flame was perfect for keeping the weeds down, why cant we find a good English saint, Gary Lineker, whoss wrong with him as patron saint, gotta be a St Gary's day, stands to reason dunnit, I blame Europe I do, pint of Double Diamond? dont mind if I do, anyway, St Patrick, wot's so special about geting rid of snakes, buy a cat, works for me, though they WILL drag them in the living room, bless, they think it's a present or sumfink, and St David, who needs a patron saint for leeks, dont see no saint for sprouts ...

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