please empty your brain below

Why DO cinemas sell popcorn and sweets in wrappers -- two of the noisiest foods around?

There must be some kind of interdimensional link between the Picture House Stratford and the UCI Tamworth. I had the same experience watching The Two Towers.

I haven't been to a movie in three years because I found the audience so obnoxious during a showing of American Beauty.

Where IS 'Tamworth' exactly? Is that one of those frightful new towns?
We tend to have a g&t during the film, perhaps accompanied by some of those rather more-ish cheese straws.
Those that disturb the proceedings are immediately escorted from the auditorium and shot in the foyer. At least i think that's what happens to them - they're never seen again.
Still, that's North London for you.

Tamworth isn't frightful and it isn't new. It's in Staffordshire and used to be the seat of the kings of Mercia. The founder of the police Sir Robert Peel was from Tamworth. We've had a castle in Tamworth for a thousand years. Ooooh I nearly got cross there!

Brian - I am SO sorry; Staffordshire is as finer part of the world as any, and splendid for sports.

My niece was bloodied down your way last season - (she was right up with the hounds when they made the kill apparently and she's only 8!!)

And of course the shooting is first rate.

I have long been an advocate of armed usherettes, having been an usher myself many years ago. The general public are, generally (as their name implies) unable to conduct themselves in a courteous manner. I say shoot now, clean the plush later.

Industry top tip: don't go to the cinema on a weekend in the first fortnight, that's when the social wannabes go, so that they can claim to have seen it, even if they have no interest. Go on the Monday evening of the third week (if the film lasts that long) as it's very much quieter or go to the UGC Trocadero, which is so spectacularly unsuccessful even rebranded as the UGC Shaftesbury Avenue that you're unlikely to see a member of staff, let alone a customer.

I hate the cinema.

It's just so common.

Everything I hate about it is summed up beautifully here.

Brian, I must start by apologising for what can only be described as my terse response to your charming reply regarding the fascinating history of Tamworth - for what it's worth, I was torn between my computer and trying to fix a minor transmission fault on the Alvis; the 'missus' was out playing Brige and was expecting her carriage at half past midnight!

You sound a perfect gentleman - and an educated one at that. Brian, tell me - do you ride? Do let me know - if you're ever in Suffolk, you must look me up and perhaps we can hack out. I could invite my nephew Wills, an amazing young fellow. Do you know, he's been riding bareback from a very early age? I didn't start until I was in my early twenties and that was only because Pa's groom insisted! I daresay some may find this reckless, but I don't think there's much wrong if one has intimate knowledge of one's mount. There may be odd disadvantage, notably the risk of chaffing, but this is totally offset by the enhancement of your ride.

Actually, that said, I'm not wholly convinced that Wills is really stretching himself at the moment. It is so easy to get comfortable with what one knows - I'm sure he can manage another hand, if not two. I must speak with him.

Anyway Brian, I'm rambling on here! Do get in touch - My name's Jerry by the way - Sabon was our old labrador. Just had her put down, a great shame


evil pole.

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