please empty your brain below
What about the Greenwich Peninsular Golf Driving Range? That can't be too far from you - although the river's in the way - it's open for business and you can hire clubs.

milliem | 17.05.20 - 8:23 a.m. | #

"....only recognised golf clothing may be worn."
Does this mean trousers with a pattern so loud they could be used as a chess board are OK?

QTWTAIN | 17.05.20 - 8:35 a.m. | #

I think golf courses are still closed in Scotland, where it is a rather more egalitarian sport...

I still don't think of Newham as officially being part of "Inner London" (unofficially, certainly), but I see there are variant official definitions used now (although the taxonomy that regards Newham as "inner" also categorises Haringey as such).

Dominic H | 17.05.20 - 8:37 a.m. | #

I never go anywhere that has a formal dress code, on principle. As I'm currently not going anywhere at all on principle, that's fairly adacemic.

Sarah | Homepage | 17.05.20 - 8:39 a.m. | #

Southwark also has the Aquarius Golf Club which is built on top of large reservoir.

Jon Graves | 17.05.20 - 8:48 a.m. | #

I think the government showed its true colours in permitting golf clubs to re-open, when many other much more essential places are not allowed to re-open.

Blue Witch | Homepage | 17.05.20 - 8:57 a.m. | #

"Only recognised golf clothing may be worn." How do we know if they'll recognise it? They'll have to have seen it before - probably several times.
"Hats must be worn with the brim facing forward." What if my hat doesn't have a brim? Does a baseball cap count? (Probably not!) Does this mean hats must be worn at all times? Or that, if they are worn, they must have a brim and that must face forward?
So many questions...and so much tucking and untucking...

Tim W | 17.05.20 - 9:01 a.m. | #

In order to play golf you also need balls and sticks. They will set you back even more money. You also need a reasonable level of skill, to be able to get round the course at a speed which doesn't hinder players behind you. I suggest leaving it to those who already play, on the principle of never going in the water before you can swim.

Malcolm | 17.05.20 - 9:19 a.m. | #

Plenty of crazy golf courses in inner London, though. Possibly a bit more fun than its proper 18 hole big brother, but unfortunately it also attracts irritating aspirational twats in large numbers- in this case not polo shirted, carefully ironed accountants from Bromley, but beared hipsters with £250 jeans and red glassesfrom Shoreditch. Logical conclusion: ban golf in all its heinous forms.

Arlu | 17.05.20 - 9:24 a.m. | #

My nearest golf course is just a mile away. DG skirted its eastern edges when he visited Seaside last May.

It's a council owned course currently leased to a new operator. There is another golf course 2 miles in the opposite direction but plans are being discussed for it to be "rewilded". Never played the game myself apart from crazy golf and pitch & putt

Southern Man | 17.05.20 - 9:28 a.m. | #

There may be a gap in the market for someone to open a crazy golf course on one of the currently-fashionable roof gardens on central London towerblocks.

Man of Kent | 17.05.20 - 9:35 a.m. | #

This will likely be the first time that Gilbert and George haven't been able to eat at their regular Turkish restaurant in Dalston for an extended period of time (they usually eat there every day)

Harry | Homepage | 17.05.20 - 9:38 a.m. | #

I think you will find that Northwick Park Golf (only 9 holes) is in Brent - just, like the hospital.

Mike Roberts | 17.05.20 - 9:42 a.m. | #

Golf, a good walk ruined, a quote often attributed to M/ark Twain. Whoever said it he Was quite right.

Ray B | 17.05.20 - 9:46 a.m. | #

My local course has closed due to archaeology investigations, water exploration and HS2 tunnelling. As I do not play it is now an interesting and different walk along the Celendine these days.

Simon P | 17.05.20 - 10:22 a.m. | #

Judging by the sudden reappearance of light aircraft overhead here in deepest Hampshire the restrictions on Light aircraft flying have been relaxed. So you could take flying lessons. Or how about sailing as the Marinas are also open. How about a series on one man and his boat on the river lee?
Take care

Richard | 17.05.20 - 10:32 a.m. | #

I read the Dress Code and recalled the 'Gourmet Night' episode of Fawlty Towers: "No riff-raff".

Gordon | 17.05.20 - 10:43 a.m. | #

Golf. Consuderablay richer than yow.

R | 17.05.20 - 11:11 a.m. | #

I always understood the brim of a hat goes all the way round.

Lorraine | 17.05.20 - 11:24 a.m. | #

Thanks for reminding me about the Northwick Park and Aquarius Golf Clubs.

I've updated the map, and the accompanying text, and have had to adjust the point in London furthest from a golf course (so it's not Gilbert and George in Fournier Street any more, sorry).

diamond geezer | Homepage | 17.05.20 - 11:34 a.m. | #

"Which means I'm going to have to take up golf." The thought of this caused the biggest laugh I've had for ages.

DGD | 17.05.20 - 12:00 p.m. | #

Lockdown may be a good opportunity to learn Adobe Illustrator, if only to improve the quality of maps on this blog.

Anon | 17.05.20 - 12:04 p.m. | #

That dress code is surpassed by the one in Lord’s Pavilion. Flyers include photo of models wearing what is in and out. Abominably exclusive.

bruce perkins | 17.05.20 - 12:43 p.m. | #

"I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member"

G. Marx

Jon Jones | 17.05.20 - 1:05 p.m. | #

Serif's Affinity products, whilst not quite the same for the most demanding Adobe users, will be able to do much the same thing. A one-off cost, available at half price for about £24 at the moment, and currently available on a 90 day free trial to play around with.

rogmi | 17.05.20 - 1:20 p.m. | #

What about the miriad of other recreational sports that were not mentioned by the government ? Our local petanque league was due to start the season last week but we don't know whether it is allowed. It can also be played in all sorts of locations, and your garden centre looks like an ideal venue.

kev | 17.05.20 - 1:27 p.m. | #

I've no desire to play golf, but it seems reasonable to reopen golf courses as a very low risk leisure activity

Mikey C | 17.05.20 - 1:36 p.m. | #

Is there still a golf course in Lewisham? I thought the only one was Beckenham Place Park (which looks to be the one marked on the map) closed a couple of years ago.

dg writes: True - I should have spotted that.
Map updated, thanks.

Adrian | 17.05.20 - 3:35 p.m. | #

I wonder if they mean baseball-type caps, so the peak has to be at the front, not attempting to look trendy (or just keeping the sun off your neck!) with it at the back. Either way, the perceived need for such a list is probably a good indication that few of us would feel welcome there.

Andrew S | 17.05.20 - 3:39 p.m. | #

a friend who played golf regularly pre-lockdown has been having golf lessons via Zoom to keep in practice and try to improve her handicap.
I doubt if there's a dress code for practising your swing in your living room.

amber | 17.05.20 - 4:05 p.m. | #

Typical liberal attitude: I don't like or am not interested in something so it is so unfair/wrong. Class warfare alive here.

Surbitonian | 17.05.20 - 7:35 p.m. | #

Frisbee golf - egalitarian, no dress code, cheaper equipment and fees (free courses in some places) and good fun the fews times I have done it.

Buzz | 18.05.20 - 6:54 a.m. | #

Yes a golf hat is identical to a baseball cap with a peak at the front

Brian | 18.05.20 - 7:16 a.m. | #

I was curious about the course on the Merton/Wandsworth border - I don't recall being aware of one in an area I know reasonably well. So I looked in my A-Z. No course. An older A-Z I have lying around shows a 'Central London Golf Course' next to Spingfield Hospital in Tooting, but I suspect this means that the Citymetric map is out of date.

Non-golfer | 18.05.20 - 11:06 a.m. | #

While Surbitonian seems a little confused about liberal attitudes (pretty much the opposite of what they suggest) they're bang on about it being class warfare - being waged by the golf clubs, through the medium of clothes snobbery.

Sarah | Homepage | 18.05.20 - 5:15 p.m. | #

To twist the Marx quote slightly, any software worth paying for is already free.

John | 19.05.20 - 5:19 a.m. | #











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