please empty your brain below
Not funny. And adds to the panic that many people are already feeling. An irresponsible post.

Andrew | 19.03.20 - 7:21 a.m. | #

Thanks for making me smile this morning.

ap | 19.03.20 - 7:24 a.m. | #

One of neighbours had breakfast delivered by motorbike yesterday, it was in a small bag, there was no sign of liquid refreshment, so I assume they were capable of coping with that aspect at least.

No shortages in my local supermarket alcohol wise, and people in front of and behind me were taking advantage, perhaps the thinking being that if you yourself have a high enough alcohol level, then you are at least internally disinfected.

Also see how many clicks it needs to find the info about cuts to bus services and tube station closures on the actual TFL website (apparently at the moment there are no planned closures on the tube on 23rd March).

Still Anon | 19.03.20 - 7:36 a.m. | #

Thanks for the chuckle, I think... I hope...

Andrew Bowden | Homepage | 19.03.20 - 7:43 a.m. | #

Please go on telling it like it is. The intentions of those who would like all news to be good news are good, but facing up to a rather grim reality with some grim humour is also a good part of the mix, particularly for adults.

Malcolm | 19.03.20 - 7:43 a.m. | #

Andrew, lighten up. This reader has been chuckling away in airport cafe waiting for a standby back to Blighty before someone has the bright idea of closing airports. Chuckling at length not something usually seen in airports.

Scrumpy | 19.03.20 - 7:46 a.m. | #

Reading this I discovered it is possible to have a hollow smile.

Frank F | 19.03.20 - 7:54 a.m. | #

Cruel post.

Surbitonian | 19.03.20 - 7:54 a.m. | #

Well, this Andrew enjoyed it :) Chin up.

With close family members taking A levels and GCSEs this year, we have a number keenly awaiting clarification of what qualifications they might be granted and on what basis, and on what terms the my can carry on to their next things, assuming we are not all still confined to barracks by September.

Keep well everyone.

Andrew | 19.03.20 - 8:02 a.m. | #

As the Italians say.. "que sarà sarà"
Wishing DG and all his readers all the best :)

Kevin Too | 19.03.20 - 8:39 a.m. | #

thank you

richard | 19.03.20 - 9:21 a.m. | #

I enjoyed this too. Things are grim but not the only way to see them.

We will go through sh** but will survive. Look on a brighter side now - less air and noise pollution, a harbinger of what can be achieved. And if it makes friends out of strangers, even better.

Joel | 19.03.20 - 9:25 a.m. | #

Thanks dg. Black humour lightens dark times.

Toni | 19.03.20 - 9:29 a.m. | #

Thanks DG, please keep posting these during the next weeks/months.

David | 19.03.20 - 9:45 a.m. | #

DG's black humour just what I needed as the news gets worse. You just have to smile at the sheer absurdity of the world. Thank you.

Ken | 19.03.20 - 10:18 a.m. | #

Laughter is the best medicine and black humour is what we Brits do best!

If you can't make the best of a bad situation you'll be in for a very miserable few months. I'm busy planning all those indoor chores I've never got round to doing because the call of the outdoors was stronger!
And i have a square of patio to smile at the sun on if it ever decides to show its face.

Cornish Cockney | 19.03.20 - 11:28 a.m. | #

It's just an article, a possibly imaginative story. Chill down guys.

Patrickov | 19.03.20 - 12:30 p.m. | #

Yes, black humour is exactly what I needed. Thanks dg.

Dominic H | 19.03.20 - 1:21 p.m. | #

DG. Good work. Carry on. We need stuff like this to see us through

IslandDweller | 19.03.20 - 1:38 p.m. | #

Black humour at its best, it made me laugh - but there is always some people don't get it.

I posted on Facebook yesterday that "we had our first case of Corona, it didn't taste as bad as I'd been expecting" , with a photo of 4 empty beer bottles.

One German living in France took exceptions, but fortunately my German neighbours in Munich appreciated this British persons humour!

Mark | 19.03.20 - 1:50 p.m. | #

I can't find YuleLink and I really really want to share my Christmas dinner with someone, anyone

Caz | 19.03.20 - 2:01 p.m. | #

With Brexit in self-isolation, DG has found something new to divide the nation...

JohnC | 19.03.20 - 2:42 p.m. | #

Thanks DG – humour is appreciated now more than ever!

Rob Miller | Homepage | 19.03.20 - 3:04 p.m. | #

It doesn't take much to bring tears to my eyes in these chronic days. Sadly your blog today DG did just that, it did nothing to cheer me up. Having stocked up this morning until Monday with half hour queues at the checkout I am already wondering if I will be able to get any milk ever again. Jokes over bog rolls lost their funniness several weeks ago (fortunately got at least six months stock). I hope your future blogs show a bit more respect.
YOUR GOVERNMENT HAS JUST STOLN MY LIFE

davews | 19.03.20 - 3:35 p.m. | #

Being able to have more than one emotion at the same time, I felt unsettled and amused. It's a slightly giddy feeling. Keep it up DG, looking forward to more in-flat travelogues.

Lux | 19.03.20 - 3:58 p.m. | #

how i miss the the heady carefree days of brexit

bert | 19.03.20 - 5:18 p.m. | #

Keep up the good work DG - hope you are still able to get out and about even if it will be more local in future

Kutgw | 19.03.20 - 6:35 p.m. | #

I enjoyed this post DG. A nice balance of the deadly serious tempered with wry gallows humour. In the face of such potential doom and gloom, having a few laughs is an antidote in itself.

IanD | 19.03.20 - 7:26 p.m. | #

As far as Bog Rolls are concerned, I needed to make a purchase this week as a normal requirement rather than a panic buy. My local supermarket had an entire empty aisle which would normally be stocked with a variety of brands, sizes, colours etc. They did however have a tower of one brand wrapped on their delivery palletes which customers were desperately clamouring to rip open. I ended up with 9 when I only wanted 4 so I guess that makes me a horder. Fortunately I have sufficient pasta.

kev | 19.03.20 - 8:47 p.m. | #

Splendid to read such varied posts each day. Bus stop M and the demise of life as we want to know it. Do keep blogging away, it is required reading now we have become accustomed if not addicted to DG and tea in the mornings.

Herbof | 19.03.20 - 9:26 p.m. | #

How times change.

A couple of weeks ago a mix-up meant me and my OH each bought a 1kg bag of rice from the supermarket. At the time we thought it was annoying as we don't have much space in the cupboards. Now we see it as good fortune.

Will the white chocolate and yuzu dome ever return?

Rob | 19.03.20 - 9:40 p.m. | #

When the world is in turmoil, familiar pleasures become even more important. Your daily posts always brighten my world.
Thanks you !!!

Martin Bayes | 19.03.20 - 10:04 p.m. | #

People read you blog and have never noticed that at times you use satire and or black humour?

Andrew | Homepage | 19.03.20 - 10:59 p.m. | #

Not funny at all. Why not? Because it may well be too near to the truth. May I politely suggest DG that you too stop travelling around London unnecessarily. Mayor Khan was right yesterday when he castigated people making such journeys. You are a great writer so please continue, but from home.

J. | 20.03.20 - 8:32 a.m. | #

I wonder how many of DG's blogposts are about journeys in London conducted solely on foot, from and to his flat.

Great Aunt Annie | 20.03.20 - 9:51 a.m. | #

thanks, cheered me no end.
A much needed laugh, especially after my attempts to get bread and a few bits and pieces for my 96 year old aunt yesterday.
Keep up the good work, it is much appreciated by some of us. And thanks as well to the originators of the comments. Always worth a read.

g.chingford | 20.03.20 - 12:03 p.m. | #

...can't see the problem with no loo-rolls ...as i don't have a loo

Grumpy Anon | 20.03.20 - 3:55 p.m. | #

How about Elusive Eggs?
Sarah in cloudy California

San Benito Sal | 26.03.20 - 6:52 p.m. | #

I’ve just stumbled across this post while browsing back through the blog- December was a concerningly accurate prediction...

George | 22.12.20 - 11:25 a.m. | #











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