please empty your brain below

Thank you - made me smile
Absolutely excellent!
Never fails to disappoint even when April 1st falls on a Bank Holiday.

I prefer the grey (or if we're going American should that be gray?) to the white, sorry. Definitely ain't an improvement. And any poor soul brought to your website today by Google Image Search is going to be more than slightly confused when he sees himself on the NHS website.

Definitely well done though - same time next year?
I thought April Fools were supposed to turn out not to be true?
"Why should the obese be prescribed unnecessary cosmetic treatments?"

Why indeed?

"for optional enhancements, additional charges may apply"

Which is bad, why?
Haha
I thought you would do an April Fool's joke this year.
Your engagement with this stakeholder has succeeded in delivering the emotional responses identified in the initial value mapping process.
Slightly too close to the bone for me!
"I thought you would do an April Fool's joke this year."

Yes - I wonder where it is?
Excellent - double bluff April Fool.
So absurd it can't possibly be real, but wait a minute....
Love it. Well done DG
I don't get much of this to be honest. I assume that this article is intended to be ironic/funny based around some of the things written which are obviously intended to express the ludicrity of some possible changes to the NHS.

However, what is ironic or funny or about "5. We're making a payment exception for our armed forces. They deserve free premium care for life, obviously."? Shouldn't we give back to these people with premium care for those who risk their lives to protect us for minimal pay?

What is ironic or funny about "3. You may find that your local hospital closes. Don't worry, this is to improve overall standards of care."? Some changes are required - look at Leeds where there an active cross-party political and local activist campaign to keep child heart surgery going is hard to justify based around the clinical evidence showing the increased mortality rates for surgery there compared to other centres of excellence.

What is wrong about charging for "optional enhancements" and "Why should the obese be prescribed unnecessary cosmetic treatments?".

Beats me.
Made me smile, thanks DG.
Messiah
Lighten up - its April 1st - surely you expected something like this was coming.
I'm just worried that NHS plc has taken over all DG's old posts as well. Next thing you know we won't be able to nip back and look at a review of something/somewhere without having paid our subscriptions.
Thanks very much DG...
Surely you didn't forget about the pay wall through which customers (formerly 'patients') will have to go before accessing health information, an apppointment at A&E etc)?
From someone who used to work in one of the bits of the NHS that was disbanded yesterday, this is an excellent post, but...it isn't funny. It's much, much too close to the truth for that.

"You may not notice the changes we're making until you next need our services." - never a truer word spoken, DG. Anyone tried contacting an out-of-hours doctor today?

And surely private providers won't be tempted to do unnecessary tests just to bump up their revenue, will they?

I weep for the death of the NHS. And I fear for the treatment of the ill in the future.
"same dedication to service you've grown to love from the old NHS"

If the level of service is the same, the reforms really will have failed.

Yours,

Disgusted Former Resident of Camden PCT
RE: Smallprint #8: On the USA side of the pond 911 is the official number of all emergency services. Hope none of you subscribers dial it and discover you're talking to the Oshkosh, Wisconsin, or Otumwa, Iowa call center.
Black humour at it`s best
Thank you DG
DG, you wouldn't happen to have an MBA by any chance. You seem to have the lingo down pat.
Garth - Entirely off topic from DGs worryingly accurate post, but in one of those odd coincidences that seems to happen far too often having never previously heard of it, I had to arrange a meeting in Oshkosh earlier today (for a couple of weeks time)
Frightening.
Normal service is restored (on the blog, if not in the NHS).

I've made one small amendment, removing the word "cosmetic" - thanks David
The small print hyperlink asked me if I meant BHS as the NHS could not be found.

Apt.










TridentScan | Privacy Policy