please empty your brain below

A good few years ago a colleague was charged with organising an office social. He managed to book the only function room at the Chiswell Street Brewery that didn't have draught beer on tap.

He was known for evermore as "The bloke who LITERALLY couldn't organise...."

I have heard of this type of organising before. You are doomed, I tell you. Doomed!

Dear DG,

I have been crying over newspaper headlines and the bollocks of the world. Your LOL bulletin has transformed my morning.

May your day be smooth and pleasant.


You forgot to mention that everyone is to ignore the guide's instruction not to lean over the open lid of the mash tun as every fool kno that it's the biggest kick you'll get all day. Ha ha ha ha

I'm just trying to imagine the bitter experience that gave rise to this. What with that and gentlemen accosting you on the Greenway to discuss their trusses, you've not been having the best of times, have you?

Love all the people in the 'To' box and the orginators email. It's these little details that make your writing such fun to read.

She works for a Governmint Department, right?

She works for the NHS - probably for a Primary Care Trust.

Makes me think of that Beryl Bainbridge novel, 'The Bottle Factory Outing'. Hope this event has a happier ending.

I loved the chocolate teapot experiment. Fabulous.

"13:00am" ??

Oh... READ THE WHOLE POST Geoff, before commenting... duh!

Hi DG darling, I've a tiny favour to ask - the probation thing hasn't worked out quite as I thought and I won't be with you for the outing. Could you be a sweetie and take over the organisation - I've emailed everyone to say you're the boss now. Thanks. K xx

Another great post from the great mind of DG. Alas, I'd rather go down the pub.

I once worked for a large UK PC manufacturer/retailer who usually had their Xmas do in Jan/Feb to save pennies. One year an e-mail came around in early December saying that the staff do would be at the local Carlsberg brewery in late December. Much excitement. Two days later a follow up explaining that said day had been double booked. I had recently resigned and was serving out my notice so I replied CC'ing the entire organisation with the now legendary - "At last we have written proof that E****** M***** can't organise a p*ss up in a brewery". My boss had trouble keeping a straight face as he admonished me shortly after. Happy days

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