please empty your brain below

It could be worse. Try supporting West Ham. Playing in a shopping centre funded by the tax payer.
I'm missing the calm voice at the end giving details of where people with similar problems can go or call for advice and support.
Sack the fans
Now, I'm always very slow at judging when DG is in his 'less-than-serious' mood, but I have a suspicion, only a suspicion, that today's piece is irony.
Apologies for 1971 and apologies for (hopefully) causing more pain and distress this weekend.
brilliant
I think it’s because Arsene isn’t wearing a yellow ribbon that has caused his powers to fade. He needs to ask Pep where he can buy one
Mind you don't bite your tongue while it's in your cheek,DG! 😂
Be like me,a lifelong follower of Millwall. A team always ready to disappoint you and cheer you on a regular basis,perfect for the pessimist.
No one likes us-we don't care! 🦁
Most fans went along with the Wenger spiel about not competing for the title because Chelsea and Manchester City had unlimited funds, plus Arsenal had a new stadium to pay for, then Leicester won the league, and Tottenham started performing better whilst building a new stadium, so Wenger's reasons for not competing for the title turned into excuses, that's what I think.
Arsenal have a track record of moving location to revive their fortunes. Perhaps they should up sticks and muscle in on another location - I recommend Ilfracoombe. Or if they're feeling really adventurous, what about somewhere near Doggar Bank?
I dare say you've heard this man. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0602z8v

Very much the type of fan being emulated here.
After six decades of frustration following the misfortunes of West Ham I made the sensible decision to completely abandon them. Why should I go see them? They never came to see me when I was poorly! I can happily report a remarkable improvement to my health.
I’d say follow Chelsea but we’re heading in a similar direction!
If you're not interested in facts, then don't read this BBC article looking at whether sacking managers is worth while.
You presumably supported Arsenal in 1971 for the same reason that subsequent children chose to support Liverpool or Manchester United. they were the all conquering side of the year. At least you had the good grace to support a side that was relatively local to your home. My Norwich based nieces and nephews are all Manchester City fans. Cant think why. No really cant think why.
It's good to support a team that isn't doing very well. The worse it's doing, the more support it needs...
I have never understood football fans.

They watch a match on TV for 90 minutes, and then watch another program which talks about the match they have just watched.
You are funny for a Gooner and I'm delighted that Spurs position in the league sends you into a "slough of despond".You are clearly so depressed that you can't even be bothered to type the end to your sentences.
I am that West Ham fan, doomed from the 1975 cup final at the age of ten, when my mother said 'You should support West Ham, that's where I'm from.'

My husband on the other hand is a long time, die hard Brighton 'supporter' - and DG's despairing rant has nothing on him. Even when they're doing well it's 'it won't last' or 'they were lucky'. A lot about our relationship fell into place when I realised that his idea of support was to call someone 'useless f****** w******' on a regular basis. (Bowdlerised out of respect for DG's reputation)
Hahahahaha! Brilliant DG
I am not a football fan so it sums up my view of the dratted sport and their fans perfectly - which is usually along the lines of "grow a pair! It's only a game"!!

You ought to submit it to the Daily Fail as it's the sort of whiny rant its readers go for!!
My favourite sports don't include football, and I sometimes end up wondering whether being a fan of certain teams is a net addition or subtraction of happiness.

In the case of my favourite team, they lost 50 competitive games in their best season in modern times - and arguably the best season by any team in that sport in the last few decades. Helps give the fans a certain sanguine nature. You're never as good as you look when you win, you're never as bad as you look when you lose. Pretty good life advice.
Nice bit of irony there DG. I have always been a Wenger supporter. Even now I want him to stay. I don't like the losses or the way they play but to replace him because that's what the "fans" want is stupid. I speak with a bit of experience. I went to my first game at Highbury in 1964 and have been a season ticket holder for 30 years. I have seen worse, especially in 1969 when Swindon beat us in the League Cup Final at Wembley. That was the lowest point. If it wasn't for the sponsorship money the Emirates stadium should have been named at AW Stadium. I mean it. Arsene Wenger will only be truly appreciated after he has gone. Be careful for what you wish for...
Wanders off completely lost.
Having been born in that part of what is now Manchester after which the football and cricket grounds are named I think I have every right to be a MUFC supporter.
My son was living near High Wycombe when he asked me which team he should support. I couldn't possibly recommend any of the London clubs his class mates chose so I said Wycombe Wanderers or Man U. He is a much more ardent Man U supporter than I ever was.
I would have said perhaps you need to get out more - but you already do!
I started supporting Arsenal when attending Highbury as a St John Ambulance first aider. I noticed the pride that the club took in their pitch, which wasn't the case at another North London club.
"Technically I know that by reaching the final we were better than every other team in the league bar one,"

As I am sure you know, but many don't seem to realise, the second-best team could have been any of those knocked out by the eventual winners - they may not even have made it to the second round.
Getting to the final doesn't even prove you are in the top half!
You see this is where you went wrong, DG. You should have chosen a consistent team who've been in the Championship (Second Division) since 2002 and have never really looked like get promoted and have never stayed in the relegation zone long enough to drop downwards out of the division.

On the other hand you probably have some antipathy to the county that this team resides in due to a previous dalliance.
Thank goodness the English cricket seasons starts next month.
Brilliant
That certainly sorted sheep from goats
This article did bring a chuckle DG, as I have 2 good friends who are Arsenal ST holders. I've learn't to avoid them for a day or two after a match, win or lose!

As a person who has never supported any team, the supporters I admire the most are those that follow some minor northern or southern team, probably from where they were born or grew up, through thick and thin. Who can look back on a lifetimes support, probably the high point of which was once making it to the third round of the FA cup.

So I'll never understand you even if I attempted to read every pychological book and paper on the subject of the football supporter. And I bet there are a fair few.

As quoted by an ancient manager (Liverpool?) who said words to the effect of;" life and death - no, far more important than that...." Sums it all up really!
I'm going to come right out and admit....this whole Arsenal meltdown is my fault. I'm coming to visit next year and its obvious that getting tickets is near impossible for an American with all of our less dignified sports. So I'm currently cheering in opposition to my favorite Premier League team in hopes that enough fans will give up on the team and I'll be able to enjoy a pleasant day at Emirates in my own empty row in a nearly vacant section. Way I see it: my enjoyment is paramount and too bad for all the rest of you. Of course, once I've secured my tickets to an upcoming match, I'll again throw all my support behind the team and the winning will re-commence. You can thank me now or later, either way....I'm the most important Arsenal fan ever.
Nope, totally lost on me. Football fan irony, I gather. I think it would though be a good idea if every team had a manager whose name sounded similar to the team's.
I don’t really understand the supposed humour here.
It seems that most people consider that Premier League football is a game. Someone even stated that ‘...it’s only a game ‘. It is, of course, a business and only appears to be a game to those who take it so very seriously. DG has demonstrated this very accurately today, so thanks for the giggle; I can’t take any of it seriously. Pretty well any sport is infected now and hardly worth the bother. Plenty else to enjoy, including a daily DG thank goodness.
Couldn't they move to Woolwich?
As a (former) Sunderland fan, I think you are already quite lucky.
Blimey, we just beat AC Milan, away!
Wenger must go, obviously.
Hilarious. And I don’t even follow football.










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