please empty your brain below
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All of these approaches seem easily resistible but I wonder if one day someone will send a perfectly couched invitation in plain English that ticks every one of your desire boxes? And one day the tide might not come in...
Waterhouse | 17.11.21 - 7:17 a.m. | #
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Amber seems a bit creepy - look at the privilege I'm giving you, I won't charge you for promoting my stuff.
Still Anon | 17.11.21 - 7:59 a.m. | #
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A pox on the people 'checking to see if my last message arrived', as if email was hand-delivered by a postman.
Kevin | 17.11.21 - 8:13 a.m. | #
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This is ice cold. I love it.
Anon | 17.11.21 - 8:54 a.m. | #
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For those of us caught up in the PlusNet debacle checking to see if your message had arrived is actually quite important.
RogerB | 17.11.21 - 9:07 a.m. | #
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There's a PR agency in Runcorn !
Chris | 17.11.21 - 9:11 a.m. | #
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When I was in the Civil Service an SEO was a senior executive officer. What is it now please?
Ian | 17.11.21 - 9:27 a.m. | #
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SEO is Search Engine Optimisation. Firstly making sure that your site gets onto Google in the first place and secondly making sure it's ranked highly in the results (preferably the top one)!
Lots of clever/shady stuff about keywords, algorithms, the number of links to your site and stuff like that.
James Scantlebury | 17.11.21 - 9:32 a.m. | #
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Thanks James - I would never have guessed that.
Ian | 17.11.21 - 9:56 a.m. | #
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Poor Amber - she sounds a bit desperate.
Cornish Cockney | 17.11.21 - 10:05 a.m. | #
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As ever, however annoying the approach, my sympathy (pity?) is with those for whom this is their paid employment.
Maybe "Amber" is desperate to stay in work.
Frank F | 17.11.21 - 10:25 a.m. | #
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Oh those desperate follow up emails. Today I got the classic 'just touching base again to see if you had any thoughts on my email...' Yup, I had a lot of thoughts, none of them good. And stop touching my base!
Jayne | 17.11.21 - 10:58 a.m. | #
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When a PR flack advises that a link is broken, you could replace the link with a link to an archived entry on the Wayback Machine.
E.g. replace (broken) with (works)
Ken | 17.11.21 - 11:51 a.m. | #
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Well done. Two letter replies are the best way to deal with these people,e unless you make it a two word reply instead.
Tones | 17.11.21 - 2:27 p.m. | #
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I dabbled in this sort of marketing guff for a couple of years between jobs, and I'm sure you already know all of this, but the constant nagging and follow-up, false camaraderie/nurture/upset tone at "missing emails" is all templated in advance. Nobody is writing this stuff, and unless the AI deems that you've given a positive followup response, nobody will read your rejections. Then none of the marketers learn anything and then they just keep going.
I'd love to see if you can figure out how to fool the AI into thinking you have a positive response but it's actually a two-letter or a two-word answer (as someone upthread quite succinctly put).
Quin | 17.11.21 - 3:11 p.m. | #
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Oh thank you, I love this series.
Gareth | 17.11.21 - 3:12 p.m. | #
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Quinn: Maybe an acrostic poem would work.
A number of bullet points that the AI takes to mean engagement with the tequest and suggestions for the next step; but when looked at with human eyes, you can see the first letter of each point spells put a message.
Something like this
• Fridays are the best day to contact me
• Unfortunately, I'm away this week
• Can you suggest a link for....
Friar Sven | 17.11.21 - 9:42 p.m. | #
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I'm surprised you haven't actually said yes to one of these, just to keep us on our toes.
Phil Johnston | Homepage | 20.11.21 - 7:49 p.m. | #
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An email from Saffron! Saffy darling, trying to get free SEO, sweetie darling! Straight out of AbFab.
As for Amber "You won't be charged for it".
You should have replied: "No - but you will be. My prices start at 300 quid".
Then the light would quickly turn to amber.
Rick | 27.11.21 - 9:52 p.m. | #
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