please empty your brain below

Late as usual. This was supposed to be rolled out in 1984
Yes - I got the same letter when I applied!
I hope King Cummings gave you the authority to reveal the existence of this letter
... or just ask Apple, Facebook or Google, with social control enforced by outrage on Twitter.
Love a hollow laugh early in the day, hope nobody important was listening. An Orwell-lite information state already exists. Our personal data has been freely donated to be held by commercial organisations, and governments are playing catch up.
I wonder if anyone in the James Bond franchise will ever be brave enough to fashion a villain based on a Mark/Jeff-style megalomaniac.
It’s a bit like ...
Amusing as always from DG. But sadly most of this is not far from the truth. Get out and enjoy yourself while you can.
The initial training period will also require a visit to our Eyesight and Driving classes based at Barnard Castle.
Well, this would be much, much, closer to reality had the election last year gone a different way...

(Cue menacing pictures of McDonnell and Abbott on "We know what you did last summer" posters, everywhere)
Given the amount many of us reveal about ourselves in the comments, many of the answers could be gleaned from looking through the DG archives.
"Well, this would be much, much, closer to reality had the election last year gone a different way..."

It's too late DG, looks like you've got a nasty infection of Putinbot Virus already.
It's only a matter of time before everyone gets microchipped at birth.
And this is why I do nothing on my phone except check the bus times when out!
The way the government’s and mayor’s “don’t use public transport” strategy is going, checking buses times will soon be be “so pre-Covid”. What’s a bus?
Fewer commenters today ... but it’s too late to worry that they’ve got access to DG’s database
Can one surmise from this that you won't be downloading the tracing app then, DG?

Tim said, "It's only a matter of time before everyone gets microchipped at birth."

How do you know that microchips/nanochips aren't already inserted during operations/injections etc??
thE spACe LiZaRDs InJect uS aLL fROm tHEIr 5G maSTs
Tried to get some foil today for sunday roast only to find empty shelves. Then I realised I needn't have bothered. I will just use one of my hats. Remember: they use magic mindbeams to control us.
Brilliant stuff, loved the East German-style points system line!

The only things missing from this are: 1) describing the contact tracing system as 'world-beating', and 2) talk about 'taking the right action at the right time'.
Dear Mr. Geezer,

Now that the Cashless UK project has been completed ahead of schedule, please note that all ATMs have been closed and that cashback is no longer available from merchants. You should deposit any remaining notes and coins with your Branch by 15 June.

You can use your debit and credit cards only within your E3 lockdown area, and purchases of Becks and Creme Eggs are restricted to two per calendar week.

Should any transactions take place outside your lockdown area or relate to merchant codes designated non-essential, all your cards will be deactivated immediately. In this event, you may visit your local foodbank.

Stay A Snitch | Inform the Gov | Save the Establishment
I'd already been thinking that the suggestion of local lockdowns in connection with tracking and tracing could be particularly counterproductive as it would positively discourage people from reporting that they or anyone they lived with had got the thing.

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