please empty your brain below
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Good stuff! I hate marketing spods too.
Clive | 11.09.09 - 8:15 a.m. | #
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I would have thought the phrase "head mixologist" would have also sent you scurrying.
I have just been sent a job advert which says "The challenge: To find propositions that have maximum traction in a broad range of verticals and workflow types" That immediately got junked on the basis that If I can't understand it I don't want the job
Peewit | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 8:16 a.m. | #
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It's similar to a lot of the comment spam I'm getting where there is obviously someone who 'reads' the blog before leaving a generic comment.
These people don't KNOW the blog though, and that's the difference. It surely isn't that hard to understand, is it? Engage with my blog all you like but don't just google some terms then start emailing me like you 'know'.
Twunts.
Gordon | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 8:58 a.m. | #
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I had two almost identical to two of yours. Looks like they might have used your links to gather further email addresses to spam...
Blue Witch | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 9:07 a.m. | #
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I first felt a fist, and then a kick
I could now smell their breath
They smelt of pubs and wormwood scrubs
And too many right wing meetings
My life swam around me
It took a look and drowned me in its own existence
The smell of brown leather
It blended in with the weather
It filled my eyes, ears, nose and mouth
It blocked all my senses
Couldnt see, hear, speak any longer
Strandman | 11.09.09 - 9:11 a.m. | #
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I have had the "London Event Tomorrow" (I live in North Wales), and the iPhone app one (I don't own an iPhone).
I question them at times. If I get one from an affiliate marketing company - they usually say "We think your blog is a good match for our affiliate programs.", I say "Name 3 affiliate programs you manage, and write to me in 250 words exactly WHY my readers would be interested in their wares".
That usually stops them.
Rhys | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 9:13 a.m. | #
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Oh and Gordon I truly agree with those comments, that say "FREE MYSPACE TEMPLATES". They're vile and take up 90\\% of my time blogging.
Rhys | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 9:14 a.m. | #
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Last one sounds a bit like a pissup in a brewery.
Debster | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 9:17 a.m. | #
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I love these entries. I think you should set up a separate blog purely and only to promote any PR guff you get. Fleece these idiots for whatever you can get!
Dan | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 9:21 a.m. | #
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Missed a bet there.. you might have leveraged it into a free i-phone.
Phil A | 11.09.09 - 9:32 a.m. | #
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Absolutely Phil, just what I was going to put. DG could still write a review saying the app was rubbish ...
Strandman - I got in the car, put the radio on and heard that song. It's a Sign. And a top song as well.
Debster | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 9:50 a.m. | #
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Sadly, my day-job involves dealing with press releases all the time, although more technology oriented ones.
The worst bit though is when someone contacts the day-job, a industry trade magazine and they call it a blog.
That one word is guaranteed to get the press release binned.
IanVisits | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 10:28 a.m. | #
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You're going for some free gin right? You just don't need to tell us about it, we won't mind.
Essexgirl | 11.09.09 - 10:48 a.m. | #
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It's true, it's true:- he does write about what he wants, and not what we want.
I've given him or told him about loads of things he could write about, but he never does 
I've sent him loads of pictures but he never posts them
He just ain't like >other< bloggers... he's got to be the 'hardest' one out there, that I've come across (maybe in a "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" sort of way)
RogerW | 11.09.09 - 11:10 a.m. | #
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Good on you, DG. Why should you commercialise your blog just to satisfy some self-centred spammers? Your blog is fast-loading and easy to read because there are no adverts, PR nonsense or fancy gadgets getting in the way. Long may that continue! 
Andrewh | 11.09.09 - 11:38 a.m. | #
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So little time so much to do
Strandman | 11.09.09 - 1:20 p.m. | #
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I hate those scattergun ad-disguised-as-a-comment under people's photos or other stuff that will go something like 'Hey, really interesting discussion. Did you know you can get 20\\% off all sofas/credit cards/useless tack this weekend at...'
By the way though, you can get 30\\% off all sofas...
Siwi | 11.09.09 - 1:22 p.m. | #
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I am so glad you are a no nonsense and slightly stubborn DG.
Amused | 11.09.09 - 1:41 p.m. | #
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Ummm
I've actually been doing a bit of searching and I think I've got a pretty fair idea of the riverside bar in question, here.
Hmmm
Monday or Thursday, you say?
Might just be worth a punt to simply turn up and say "Hi, thanks for the invite - I'm DG"
Anyone else fancy going along and giving it a try?
RogerW | 11.09.09 - 2:30 p.m. | #
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Well I haven't been invited to the gin pissup, and I'd have gone. It's all right for you Londoners - we're desperate for material up here.
I don't mind people offering me things (which has happened very rarely). At least - whether I accepted them or not - there's some sort of basis of an understanding of value there.
What I object to - big time - is people sending me their press releases and/or a banner or graphic to post, because they think they might be able to get me to do their publicity for free, because I'm just one of those amateur bloggers who they might be able to use. That crosses the line into 'an insult.'
Golly, it's high up here on this horse.
Most annoying spam at the moment: "yes, some interesting points there and well written will definitely add you to RSS" - all the time.
JonnyB | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 2:33 p.m. | #
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Ha - yes, that chimes more than a few chords with me. I've noticed a trend in PR emails recently, and I'd love to know if others have found this. I keep getting unsolicited approaches from unknown PR companies that begin "Hiya Matt, I think one of my colleagues was chatting to you the other day...". When? Where? Who? I mean, I've barely left the house this week, and that was just to take out the recycling. Is someone pretending to be me and phoning up lots of PR companies? Or is it a psychological ploy to suggest familiarity? Anyone else noticed this recent trend?
M@ | Homepage | 11.09.09 - 2:58 p.m. | #
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Ah yes. It's also a good idea to instruct all your 'friends' not to supply your e-mail/blog/address any other identifying info on those 'recommend a friend' cards/e-mails/PR cheshire-cat grinning fiends/blog-rolls.
Bina | 11.09.09 - 4:59 p.m. | #
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DG
You crack me up. Great post
RogerW
Maybe a whole lot of us could go along and Spartucus-like stand up one by one and shout "No, I'm DG" in a gin soaked drunken voice.
Plummy Mummy | 11.09.09 - 11:28 p.m. | #
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Maybe it's just me but I could've sworn you posted this before
dg writes: "Sometimes I enjoy nothing better than publishing some of these desperate requests for publicity, but with all the brand names heartlessly deleted."
Johnny Topaz | 12.09.09 - 12:23 a.m. | #
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Gin - a vile drink.
DG if you get any for a decent scotch could you send them my way.
Les Abbey | Homepage | 12.09.09 - 4:44 a.m. | #
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I'm neither a fan of gin nor of corrugated plastic illuminated in B&Q special-offer blue lighting, yet I somehow ended up there a few weeks ago. I don't think you're missing out DG. No product placement in this blog! it would be interesting to see a DG roundup of all those bloogers who did succumb to "driving online buzz" next week...
Novaelius | 12.09.09 - 1:36 p.m. | #
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"driving buzz online"
**shudder**
Nick | 13.09.09 - 3:47 p.m. | #
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Hey, reading between the lines I actually was interviewed by someone called {name} from the {name} advertising agency. Nothing to do with {branded spirit} but instead a job I applied for at {business wear website}, which is another company {gender pronoun} is involved with.
I didn't get the job - no complaints there, I was rubbish - and {name}, it has to be said, was a class act. Professional, constructive in {gender pronoun} critical feedback and way-out-of-my-league attactive.
However, I then contacted {business wear website} and my conqueror on behalf of the website I write for, {cult sportswear design site}. We wanted some "expert" quotes from them on a piece we were doing but it turned out the free advertising and links we were offering were insufficient. They ran a mile when I explained that, actually, we would prefer to write our own copy. Heaven forbid!
Jé | Homepage | 13.09.09 - 9:48 p.m. | #
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Hey, I got an absolute humdinger of a press release this morning. Check out this beauty:
"The program is a partnership between XX and YY to create a unique consumer engagement engine to "break" emerging eco-change agents onto the global environmental scene through an array of online and on-the-ground consumer engagement opportunities."
Outstanding.
M@ | Homepage | 16.09.09 - 7:58 p.m. | #
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"partnership between XX and YY"
Jeans?
Capability Bowes | Homepage | 24.09.09 - 4:35 p.m. | #
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