please empty your brain below
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Yes! So pleased I made it into your blog!
Jamie | 04.05.17 - 7:15 a.m. | #
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I'm glad you could make sense of 'the line between residential living and lifestyle experience' because I certainly couldn't.
Sarah | Homepage | 04.05.17 - 7:16 a.m. | #
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Ooooh careful DG, your photo actually shows most of the name of the street so he's got his free publicity after all (see above)...
Richard | 04.05.17 - 7:21 a.m. | #
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I found this quite amusing and was able to work out who the developer was from the first line. The sad thing is they are slightly better than some of the other developers and I believe are trying to sell flats to Londoners as opposed to investors in Singapore.
The PR people who are used by developers write in a really bizarre way. Their favourite word is "vibrant" which I think means currently quite poor part of London which is in the process of being made unaffordable for 95% of the population.
ganching | Homepage | 04.05.17 - 7:29 a.m. | #
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The millennials who will beggar themselves to live in this hutch did not go to university as you suppose. They went to 'Uni'.
On the plus side, free food and drinks! You should go, your reportage would make hilarious reading for sure.
David | 04.05.17 - 7:43 a.m. | #
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Must be soul destroying having to write PR clap-trap for a living.
Kevin | 04.05.17 - 8:03 a.m. | #
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And it's strange that he hasn't mentioned that the millennial London living experience will be enhanced by having the main line from Dartford to Cannon Street running slap bang next to the building.
Richard | 04.05.17 - 8:04 a.m. | #
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Having approximately located this, I wonder if you have a fantastic view of the extremely-nearby viaduct with the railway tracks into London Bridge on top of it. I bet they must add to the vibrant feel of the place.
Ironically, I think this place must be nearly a kilometre for the nearest tube or railway station. Did they give directions on how to get there by public transport?
Pedantic of Purley | 04.05.17 - 8:14 a.m. | #
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Ah, so "vibrant" in this case means "vibrating"?
Netflix and Chil...
Andrew | 04.05.17 - 8:15 a.m. | #
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I start to turn off when I see the word 'invite' used as a noun.....
Stephen | 04.05.17 - 8:26 a.m. | #
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When is this party please? I live near there and am certainly one of their neighbours!
Richard | Homepage | 04.05.17 - 8:27 a.m. | #
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Now I really want to know what that hashtag is...
Greg S | 04.05.17 - 8:39 a.m. | #
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I hate to mention it but I suspect that, as standards go, this isn't by any means the worst that there is.
In Purley we have a converted office block on the busy and noisy Brighton Road blocks made into retirement flats. The marketing claptrap in the glossy brochure pushed through our door was unbelievable. It was the usual "glamorised the location so much I didn't recognise it" feel. I still am unable to locate the "town's treelined parks [that] lend themselves to leisurely strolls in all seasons". There is a small one nearby but it is dominated by the skateboarding park within.
On top of that it makes much of it being on the trackbed of the Surrey Iron Railway (of which there is absolutely no trace in Purley) and so calls itself "Carriages" not realising or not caring that the Surrey Iron Railway only carried goods trains and never any carriages.
Pedantic of Purley | 04.05.17 - 8:43 a.m. | #
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Crud? Ha ha. Brings back memories. There was a chap who produced an underground satirical workplace magazine of the same name when I worked for BT in Hampshire a couple of decades ago. It really was top quality. Unfortunately for all concerned it wasn't quite underground enough (people in the London office were requesting copies) and the author was ordered to desist.
As for this development, yes it is possible to work out where it is (a particularly unpromising street backing onto the elevated rail lines).
The developer's website is suspiciously lacking in any details that prospective residents would be interested in such as exactly how cramped or overpriced the flats are. Notably there is no location map. Crud indeed.
Lorenzo | 04.05.17 - 8:49 a.m. | #
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Gems from the Crud Instagram feed:
"We build and manage homes in London designed to complement today's rental lifestyle. Brilliantly connected to the local neighbourhood and the city, each development creates it's own community of like-minded people. Renting with us is easy. We believe in creating great places to live, putting the customer experience first. Bringing you the rental lifestyle you need this April 2017 📍🏡 🤝"
"🎥 We couldn't help but show you our Cinema Area where we will be holding Weekly Film Nights 🎞 Sit back and relax 😴 We will also have the space open throughout the day for you to be able to unwind ☺️ Remember the Café is only footsteps away on the other side of the wall to grab a Coffee and Pastry ☕️ OR a Smoothie and Sandwich 😜🍞"
diamond geezer | Homepage | 04.05.17 - 8:56 a.m. | #
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After working out what this development is, I had a look at their Instagram page. The post I found most amusing was the one where they have a picture one the free bottle of wine you get when you move in, where they say "it tastes as good as it looks".
Well it looks like a £3.50 bottle of wine with a cheap stick on label, so I imagine it tastes like that
Lumma | 04.05.17 - 9:17 a.m. | #
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It's funny, cos my grandad lives in a retirement complex. He has his own flat but it has shared facilities. Didn't occur to me how close to student living that is until reading this post!
I do suspect for some it'd be perfect and a great way to meet new people.
Let's all buy in Crud.
Andrew Bowden | Homepage | 04.05.17 - 9:44 a.m. | #
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Easily located on google earth (look for the building site :) ) Driving along the road via street view, the street looks a soulless place and reminds me of walking along streets of Paris apartments.
I was going to say that I didn't know how the Palmerston pub still survives but, on closer inspection, I see that it's boarded up inside with a for sale notice (Aug 2016), so I assume that that's already been recycled into something else.
Romic | 04.05.17 - 9:58 a.m. | #
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@Stephen -- 'invite' has been used as a noun in English since at least 1615, according to the OED. Take up your fight with the Stuarts.
Alan Burkitt-Gray | 04.05.17 - 10:02 a.m. | #
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There's an article in the Guardian showing the desperation in the London's flat selling market.
Anything from ipads up to cars are on offer. I'm not sure Crud's bottle of wine will be sufficient as an incentive.
Martin | 04.05.17 - 10:08 a.m. | #
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Reading one of their social media posts I realised that the hashtag character count outnumbered the three lines of text. Insult to injury, that.
Gordon | 04.05.17 - 10:11 a.m. | #
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Even though the Crud apartments don't launch for another week, Rightmove reduced the rent on a two-bedroom flat yesterday.
diamond geezer | Homepage | 04.05.17 - 10:16 a.m. | #
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@Richard
Apparantly everyone's welcome, so once you've discovered the date on social media I'm sure you'll love it.
After all they are offering lifestyle choices that include ping pong and G&T's...
| 04.05.17 - 10:21 a.m. | #
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Why don't you pass any invitations to these PR events to your friends? Shame to see all that free food & drink wasted.
mclm | 04.05.17 - 10:26 a.m. | #
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"The future is Crud."
How true is that!
It's just as well I love having my teens/young 20-somethings around, as I think they're going to be living at home for a very long time to come!
Cornish Cockney | 04.05.17 - 10:28 a.m. | #
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@PoP
"Ironically, I think this place must be nearly a kilometre for the nearest tube or railway station."
It's even a good five minutes' walk from a bus stop
"calls itself "Carriages" not realising or not caring that the Surrey Iron Railway only carried goods trains"
Almost up there with "train station" is the journalistic habit of referring to freight wagons as "carriages"
timbo | 04.05.17 - 10:54 a.m. | #
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Clearly hadn't expected the Brexit vote and ???? years of uncertainty, meanwhile the national debt continues to grow.
Welcome to economic Buckaroo.
Still anon | 04.05.17 - 11:08 a.m. | #
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Anything that "launches" other than a ship turns me right off.
And all those pathetic references that "reflect how we live today" are just as bad - considering most of us wish we didn't.
peter cummings | 04.05.17 - 11:52 a.m. | #
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Not seen or heard the word 'crud' for years. Reminds me of my school days, when most things were described as crud.
The copy writers should be dealt with under Trades Description laws.
scrumpy | 04.05.17 - 12:15 p.m. | #
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Has 'vibrant' replaced 'iconic'?
That would just be soooooo 'awsome'.
Ironic Steve | 04.05.17 - 4:08 p.m. | #
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Up the Creek!
Helen D Vecht | 04.05.17 - 5:57 p.m. | #
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"Millennials who can afford a place like this" is a small subset indeed of the whole millennial generation. In fact a cynic might say that a more accurate description would be "children of baby-boomers who can afford a place like this".
I think the target demographic is not dissimilar to the one that attended that catastrophic festival in the Bahamas this week.
(Also there's a special place in hell for people who send important details in the form of an image that I can't copy and paste. Especially for dates and times, when .ics files and their ilk have been around since millennials were in primary school.)
| 04.05.17 - 6:19 p.m. | #
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That annoys me as well. However, if on a PC, it's easily sorted for me by using Windows "Snipping Tool", although that does limit the resolution and view to screen size only.
Romic | 04.05.17 - 6:46 p.m. | #
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There's a whole world of difference between Crud and the former Bow Quarter match factory...the latter of which I remember seeing marketing guff for when it was turned into residential use. If they thought it worthwhile sticking new brickwork and windows on top of the old ones in the Crud development, why the fxxx couldn't they have demolished and reused the old materials and made them into something more visually appealing?
B | 04.05.17 - 7:32 p.m. | #
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What a depressing piece DG. Not your fault of course, you merely highlight how crap the whole property market has become for ordinary young Londoners.
Chris | 04.05.17 - 7:51 p.m. | #
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Bike repair shop?
dg writes: Technically it's only a pump, a stand and a few tools on a wall.
Simon | 04.05.17 - 8:21 p.m. | #
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Around my area (Hants/Wilts border) crud is the stuff left on the road when cows are moved from field to milking parlour. A mixture of C**p and mud.
PetYar | 04.05.17 - 8:55 p.m. | #
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Ended up feeling a little sorry for the property developers who are trying to create a friendly place for people to meet and socialise. It could have been more soul-less with another one or two apartments in the communal space.
Half a physicist | 04.05.17 - 9:42 p.m. | #
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There's nowhere in my block of flats for people to meet and socialise. There are just flats. This used to be called normal, not soul-less.
diamond geezer | Homepage | 04.05.17 - 10:24 p.m. | #
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Is there a garden at yours? Balcony to balcony chat? Perhaps the smaller size of the new flats is a factor in proving a common place to meet ?
Half a physicist | 04.05.17 - 10:53 p.m. | #
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