please empty your brain below

Not only did I roll my eyes, I thought "when will Diamond Geezer mention this in his blog"
Re the blue stickers I guess the salient point is the “Please listen for announcements or check information displays” as a reminder to the headphoned/phone-blind to occasionally listen out or look up. Then when they miss their stop Crossrail can shrug and say don’t say we didn’t provide ample warning.
TfL; always very happy to say they put the customer first and give them the best experience, but rarely live up to their own high aspirations.
I hadn't appreciated the stickers about the doors were in the majority of carriages - it does reduce their effectiveness slightly.
(I had noticed the 'Mind the Gap' stickers looking very un-TfL, being in Rail Alphabet, though with a tube-ish train next to them)
What I haven’t worked out is why the red doors closing lights seem to come on intermittently at certain doors while the train is moving. It seems to be a bug. But not sure.
In the first example you risk adding errors into the system that a generic message doesn't (how many software updates have been so far), so its safer to have the stand clear message for every station rather than something bespoke for doored platforms - it's one less thing to check.

The same thinking applies for engineering work, a generic poster is more inclusive, just because you don't think that a typical Canary Wharf passenger needn't worry about engineering work this weekend, doesn't mean that they all do - what if you're meeting friends at the weekend who lives in West Ealing and visiting someone in Goodmayes.
First message is legitimate. Having platform screen doors does NOT mean it is safe to stand close to them when a train passes. All the air pressure change and a (albeit tiny) chance of the screen doors going wrong means you should indeed stand clear until the train passes or the doors open.
Useful sleuthing; keep 'em on their toes!
Are there any plans to lengthen the short platforms? I can't find any information from searching. Seems like a bit of an oversight!
I can't help thinking it would be more effective to put stickers on those doors which DO open at short platforms, rather than the ones that don't. Plus announcements about which stations are affected - or am I being too simplistic?
‘Seems like a bit of an oversight’ is the sort of armchair project management you’d expect from someone who’s never been to Hanwell.
I would be interested to know why trains pass through Bond Street without stopping, and whether they have passengers on them.
Just a thought - carriages 3 and 7 are identical: could a No 3 carriage from one unit be swapped for carriage 7 of another without turning it round? (for example to make one good unit out of two faulty ones).

The "short" 7-car units had carriages 4 and 6 removed, but I don't think that would have affected which doors would not open at Hanwell.
Definitely eye roll-worthy, with also a muttered 'H&S gone mad' for good measure!

Poster that are there to inform, but don't add to the visual clutter that means one missed important messages!
Why not just write a list of closures on a whiteboard like they do for everything else!
'These doors will not open at certain stations' doesn't really tell me anything - is the station where I want to get off 'certain'? It wouldn't cost too much to have door-specific stickers such as 'This door will not open at Hanwell on trains for Reading or Heathrow'.
Door stickers: The Gold plated solution would be to have electronic screens in the door panels at the sticker location (or in the door glass) to tell you the precise information at the optimum time (and maybe advertisements at other times to fund the cost).

The tech is absolutely available for this, has been for some years. Or a cheaper version that electronically dims the door glass at the right point, leaving the message (as fixed text) undimmed. Tech now in use on some airliners.
The problem with short platforms at Hanwell is primarily a legal one.

The platforms were planned to be lengthened and provision was made as part of the Crossrail bill - so it must be technically possible.

The residents backing onto the future longer platforms vociferously objected citing loss of privacy during the bill's petition stage. As is common in these situations, some provisions were not worth the fight so 'letters of comfort' were given assuring them that the platforms would not be lengthened.

Originally it was not intended to have selective door operation but once it was (largely down to Maryland station which cannot be extended), it made sense not to bother with Hanwell and various other stations. I think the original solution for Maryland was to exclude it from Crossrail but that did not go down well.

Unless TfL can come to an agreement with the relevant householders there are not a lot of available options. They could buy the houses as they came onto the open market and then sell them with a covenant preventing future owners from objecting but that is not very practical. Otherwise it is the ultimate solution of a clause in an Act of Parliament permitting the platform extensions.
I would have thought that the train software would know which platform it is in at Paddington so it should be possible to only not open the problematic doors when in the relevant platforms. Maybe a later software upgrade will fix this.

If the actual platform cannot be determined at present then when (eventually) ETCS signalling is implemented at Paddington the train must know where it is as this is fundamental to this type of signalling.
Alas the train's software doesn't know which platform it's in at Paddington, because the train's GPS isn't quite that accurate.

And because the high level platforms all have different curvatures, the middle doors of all six rear carriages have to be locked out.
In response to Matthew Clark, the reason for the apparent random illumination of the red door closing lights, is when unsuspecting passengers (or their rucksack) lean on the door open buttons.
Just noticed that the second picture has both ‘Doors will not open…’ and ‘mind the gap’ although you have explained that the doors do not open if there is a gap.
I didn't realise they only had GPS to identify the train location when at Paddington.

You could put balises in the track but then you would need something to detect them on the train. So probably not worth doing.
When there are that many door stickers, I don't know why they don't just sticker the lot, to cover the eventuality that any of the platform-edge doors at any of the central core stations fails. I've definitely seen odd doors not open for what I could only conclude was that reason.
Do you know why some Elizabeth Line trains (or maybe all of them) have an internal door that can close at the end of one carriage (not sure which but about carriage 3 I think)
It's a wonder that any trains are allowed to open their doors at Clapham Junction

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