please empty your brain below
What a wonderful way to start the day. One of the reasons that it is so joyful is that I can see me in so many of the reactions and laugh at myself. Thank you DG.

Mel | 13.08.21 - 7:06 a.m. | #

I am angry that you refer to the lowercase p as a grammatical issue. Typographical or punctuational, but indisputably not grammatical.

DavidC | 13.08.21 - 7:28 a.m. | #

Watch your blood pressure with all this outrage DG :o)

But slightmore seriously, how the heck did that first one slip thru?

The second is a symptom of a quite major problem of the proliferation of street furniture and signage overload , where road users can miss important signs due to trying to process all the dross information.

Putters | 13.08.21 - 7:34 a.m. | #

A sign for the buzzer containing buzzwords, perhaps its one of them art pieces.

At least none of them use Comic Sans.

The internet couldn't function without the pointless anger generated by self-obsessed grumpy miseryguts.

Still Anon | 13.08.21 - 7:35 a.m. | #

I agree. Utter disgrace. What is the world coming to?

scrumpy | 13.08.21 - 7:40 a.m. | #

Spelt Sienna wrong? Really? This sort of sloppy approach to our wonderful language leaves me apoplectic with fury. My pet hamster understands the difference between an adjective and an adverb and so should you.

Scientist | 13.08.21 - 7:43 a.m. | #

I'm angry with myself that I wasn't previously aware that the pigment and the place had different spellings.

Frank F | 13.08.21 - 7:46 a.m. | #

Just yesterday Geoff Marshall tweeted about a new line diagram on a platform of the Northern Line that has Nine Elms and Battersea Power Station stations transposed.

Colly | 13.08.21 - 7:55 a.m. | #

I had a laugh a couple of years ago at a sign at More London near Tower Bridge. It was in etched steel, and read, "Notice is hereby given to all whom enter onto this land that the owner has no intention to dedicate at any time any part of the land as a Public Highway." Whom approved that, then?

Tim W. | 13.08.21 - 7:57 a.m. | #

Half moon. As a precocious child with an unnaturally serious interest in astronomy I can recall having a (mostly good natured) argument with my grandmother about what constituted a new moon. I don't think we ever agreed on what it actually was - even though I brought several serious tomes into the argument.

Sammy | 13.08.21 - 8:23 a.m. | #

The first two also annoy me (and I'm not sure the capitalisation on the second one is appropriate either.) The third raises a chuckle. Fourth seems reasonable although I like the idea that there could be a place called 'Siena in Bow.' The fifth is great - the fact that 'transforming challenging valuing empowering' are added to such a banal sign really shows that the school is throwing these words around with no consideration to what meaning they might be supposed to carry.

Alan | 13.08.21 - 8:39 a.m. | #

I saw a sign on a footpath yesterday that said "Guide Dogs Only". There was no alternative path for humans so I had to turn around.

Eric | 13.08.21 - 8:53 a.m. | #

This is the wrong platform for this - you should be on Twitter

Jimbo | 13.08.21 - 8:57 a.m. | #

The second sign made me so angry, I could not believe what I was seeing. Whomever designed this sign had no idea of punctuation. It should read "New traffic island. No right turn into Morpeth Street. Access via Globe Road and Dibgy Street."

mark Frampton | 13.08.21 - 9:16 a.m. | #

Either you bought the Daily Mail yesterday or you have secretly moved to Tunbridge Wells.

In either case, the cure should be obvious ;-)

Southern Heights (Light Railway) | 13.08.21 - 9:18 a.m. | #

The last one reminds me of the TfL instruction on approaching an escalator that 'Dogs must be carried'. As a non dog-owner, I feel excluded.

Alan S | 13.08.21 - 9:22 a.m. | #

What the hell is the point of pressing a buzzer? That won't do anything other than risk damaging a device which is harmlessly sitting there waiting to buzz. They can't expect everyone to infer that you need to press the button next to the buzzer. Were they so cheap that they wouldn't pay for the extra letters to make a clearly-phrased sign?

Matt | 13.08.21 - 9:27 a.m. | #

I love the way you escalate from almost reasonable (actually, that first sign is inexplicable!) to ridiculously frothing.

My personal favourite is the verbal instruction to 'make sure you take all your personal belongings with you when leaving the train', to which the only appropriate response is 'Oh no, but I've left most of mine at home.'

Sarah | Homepage | 13.08.21 - 9:48 a.m. | #

Do Not Throw Stones At This Sign

Chris | 13.08.21 - 9:49 a.m. | #

Dogs must be carried.
Can a Disabled Toilet be flushed ?

Paul | 13.08.21 - 9:58 a.m. | #

I literally agree with every word you say :D

cau1khead | 13.08.21 - 10:06 a.m. | #

I go past the "Frampton park Road” sign every once in a while, and it always provokes a bout of sighing and head-shaking.

Since we’re sharing, the linguistic solecism that particularly gets to me is when radio announcers etc. use phrases like “if you’re just joining us, the score is one-nil”, which of course implies that the score would be different for those who have been listening for longer.

CJS | 13.08.21 - 10:17 a.m. | #

How about:
"This gate is to be kept locked at all times."
So it's a wall, then, and not a gate.

Jambo | 13.08.21 - 10:37 a.m. | #

What gets me annoyed is the sheer waste of indignation. With so much really wrong with the world, with real people hurting and dying, to see indignation squandered on trivia, that's the real scandal.

Malcolm of Kent | 13.08.21 - 10:45 a.m. | #

It's Grammatical Incorrectness gone mad. I blame the school's

milliem | 13.08.21 - 10:51 a.m. | #

These are the things that those of us looking in from outside, always notice when we are there. To mention it, nearly always causes resentment, but it is sometimes very difficult to hold back.

Slovenly workmanship and lack of attention to detail, coupled with the loss of civic pride. From the signs in the PM's media room to bus stop info and streets signs. Buildings built, that never ever see another coat of paint or a clean up. Take the money and run, seems to be the general attitude most businesses take. I notice, some still find it all very amusing. I don't.

Two letters sum it up for some of us forriners.
U.K.

Steve | Homepage | 13.08.21 - 11:07 a.m. | #

I feel heard.

Lux | 13.08.21 - 11:27 a.m. | #

Before you gripe about 'lack of attention to detail' in the U.K., Steve, perhaps learn how to use commas.

JayTee | 13.08.21 - 11:40 a.m. | #

Welcome to my world. I've been enraged by signs for forty years, right back to when to when I saw a sign saying 'Fresh cut sandwiches'. No one pays me for what I write. I am not perfect but sign writers who generally did not attend Oxford need to have a very literate person to check what they write.

Andrew | Homepage | 13.08.21 - 11:55 a.m. | #

JayTee - A prime example of the resentment I wrote about. The truth always hurt.

I'm sorry about the commas, I'm aware that I tend nowadays to use the German usage over the english. It's what happens.

Steve | Homepage | 13.08.21 - 12:28 p.m. | #

I suspect every school is given a list of approved buzzwords from which they choose those which take their fancy, probably first making sure they are different from those used by neighbouring schools.

JohnC | 13.08.21 - 12:37 p.m. | #

Similar to Jambo, the sign that always annoys me is "Fire Door. Keep Shut."

Like Jambo's gate, that makes it a wall!

John Simmons | 13.08.21 - 1:03 p.m. | #

"You do not want I ... to press your buzzer". This makes I so cross.

dg writes: Me hoped it would.

Peter | 13.08.21 - 1:07 p.m. | #

“Frampton park road, South Hackney” - the General Post Office was not above claiming majuscules for itself.

Rich G | Homepage | 13.08.21 - 1:25 p.m. | #

I thought the first one was taking the (small) p.

MilesT | 13.08.21 - 1:30 p.m. | #

Labels stuck over a standard parking suspended sign saying "this suspension no longer required"...just take the sign down then. Replace with another small sign saying "works completed/deferred" and a date if you really must, and ask locals to remove that one on the next recycling day afterwards.

MilesT | 13.08.21 - 1:34 p.m. | #

Trying to spot all the deliberate grammatical mistakes in this post has been a fun lunchtime game.

Claire | 13.08.21 - 2:34 p.m. | #

Back in the 1960's in my small south coast town, the ice cream and lolly shop display cabinets supplied by Walls ice cream, were labelled "help yourself"
Somebody walked out of a shop with a few ice creams, were apprehended and appeared before the Magistrates.
Aquitted, "help yourself" means help yourself.
The signs were then stickered over with "serve yourself"

coffin dodger | 13.08.21 - 2:41 p.m. | #

"And yet you have phrased your message as an instruction which, were I to take it literally, would force me to stop and communicate with your reception entirely unnecessarily."

Incredible

Mk | 13.08.21 - 2:48 p.m. | #

Genuinely surprised the Church is allowed to do that with the Equality Act.

R2 | 13.08.21 - 4:04 p.m. | #

Old man shakes fist at clouds.....large group of people turn up and read all about it. Still no change in the Mystery Count. As you were.

Steven | 13.08.21 - 5:00 p.m. | #

This from the man who gave us 'Installed by cretins'

Messiah | 13.08.21 - 5:32 p.m. | #

And yet, if everyone did nothing because they were not outraged/could not or would not be bothered to comment or complain directly to those who could change things, then things would continue on the current downward spiral (which has, of course, led to these unfortunate situations in the first place).

Which is exactly why these 'things', paid for out of the public purse (ie taxation, be it VAT or more direct taxes), do now exist.

Entertaining as this sort of post may be, in its passive aggressiveness (aimed somewhere, not sure where), it is really missing the point.

Passive aggressiveness is no substitute for direct/targeted action.

Blue Witch | Homepage | 13.08.21 - 6:08 p.m. | #

If those signs make you angry - try this one.

Mister T | 13.08.21 - 11:22 p.m. | #

I'm just comparing those four buzzwords with those at our own local "academy". It has the overarching strapline "Find your remarkable" (!) under which sit four buzz-phrases, each made up of three anodyne words each. Giving a grand total of 15 words. On the plus side, there is no actual buzzer.

cau1khead | 14.08.21 - 2:44 p.m. | #

This post left me encouraged that Tower Hamlets council would finally remove the 15-year-old faded sign on Roman Road which warns drivers of a new road layout ahead. I’ve reported the sign many times to the council without response. Exposure by DG will finally see it gone, I thought. I now fear they will simply replace it with a new one.

Joseph | 15.08.21 - 8:05 a.m. | #

I saw a sign today, which I feel vies with your "Press the Buzzer" notice. It read: "Please walk with bikes and scooters within the school grounds".

cau1khead | 30.09.21 - 8:59 p.m. | #











TridentScan v2.10.0 | Privacy Policy