please empty your brain below
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7 - Apart from a WC, from time to time.
Burntweenie | 06.12.18 - 7:08 a.m. | #
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I am confused. I can't find a single press release promoting London's Merriest Urban Cable Car
Wolf | 06.12.18 - 7:08 a.m. | #
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Excellent stuff, but I was disappointed not to find an example of "Christmas comes early...".
Waterhouse | 06.12.18 - 7:11 a.m. | #
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Laugh-out-loud start to the day; thanks!
Sarah | Homepage | 06.12.18 - 7:36 a.m. | #
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"It's a fact that if your ideal Christmas combines sheep noises and stripy peppermint-flavoured boiled sweets..this really is a must read"
Frank F | 06.12.18 - 7:44 a.m. | #
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Well,absolutely everybody in the whole universe should be reading DG and his superlative prose because,why wouldn't you? You don't want to be left out! You want to be one of the beautiful people too! 😂😂
Jo W | 06.12.18 - 7:44 a.m. | #
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10) "Everything you need to know about 2018"
If you don't already know it, you evidently don't really need to know it, unless they are talking about thimgs which will happen in the next 3 weeks.
kev | 06.12.18 - 9:16 a.m. | #
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11)
The old: A is terrible so B must be better.
When will people ever learn that just because A is bad it doesn't mean going along with option B will inevitably make your life better?
Pedantic of Purley | 06.12.18 - 9:42 a.m. | #
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Bah, Humbug!
Milo Bell | 06.12.18 - 9:47 a.m. | #
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For 19, the source article itself is stunningly bad.
Good to put the spotlight on this writing; I've become numb to it.
Anon | 06.12.18 - 9:53 a.m. | #
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Excellent. Nothing turns me off something more than assuming I need to travel into central London and spend money in order to be happy!
We are clearly not their target audience! And plainly most of the 20-somethings I know aren't either!
Cornish Cockney | 06.12.18 - 10:53 a.m. | #
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We are often taught that "statements of fact" are a key part of language, and everything else (questions, exclamations, incorrect statements, persuasions etc) are somehow a lesser breed of language.
From an evolutionary perspective, this is quite wrong. From a baby's first cry up to PMQ, the function of language is to enable person A (the utterer) to alter the behaviour of person B, in a way that is somehow favourable to A.
Malcolm | 06.12.18 - 11:46 a.m. | #
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I think you and I should go into marketing DG, because we would be similarly glum on the prospects of our clients.
“Try our deodorant which lasts for 96 hours for some unfathomable reason. Also don’t ask how we tested this”
“Most people who filled in our survey’s favourite cookies!”
“L’Oréal - you might be worth it”
Kirk | 06.12.18 - 12:17 p.m. | #
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Your analysis of no 15 is perhaps open to debate. I would say they are calling (a) stressed-out shoppers and (b) steak bake enthusiasts rather than, as you imply, stressed out shoppers who are also sb enthusiasts. But it doesn't alter your conclusion.
Peter | 06.12.18 - 1:12 p.m. | #
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Don't worry - come Boxing Day, the Creme eggs will be hitting the shelves
NickW | 06.12.18 - 2:04 p.m. | #
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Today's haul...
• Although Christmas is usually a sedate time of year, there’s one aspect of it which gets us all a little competitive - the unspoken battle of the tacky Christmas jumpers.
• Is it dark as you’re reading this? Of course it bloody is, it’s always dark now…
• We all love a good winter pop-up, even more so when it doubles up as a rooftop hangout.
• Feel like pushing the boat out? You need one of London's most decadent, luxurious, ridiculous and OTT hot chocolates.
• Fed up of fondue? No, of course you're not.
• Haven't got your New Year's Eve plans sorted yet? Panic not. Whatever kind of shenanigans you're in the mood for, our friends at Skiddle have just the ticket.
• Nothing says ‘Christmas’ like reading Kafka on your own listening to Pulp at Bar Italia.
diamond geezer | Homepage | 06.12.18 - 4:53 p.m. | #
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16 comments, and nobody's had a go at DG for "over-exaggeration" in (2)?
Have the resident pedant brigade gone into hibernation, or has DG wielded his scythe of moderation?
Peter | 06.12.18 - 5:53 p.m. | #
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*has.
Karmic payback for pedantry is swift.
Peter | 06.12.18 - 5:53 p.m. | #
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Neither I or Mrs drD have ever kicked back with an eggnog.
drD | 06.12.18 - 6:13 p.m. | #
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12
For years I have avoided such nonsense.
Stay at home:
Get a better (best possible?) view of fireworks on TV with no pushing and shoving.
No dreary conversations.
Guaranteed stay dry and warm.
4 seconds to the bar, at supermarket prices and no queue (fridge).
4 second to clean toilet with no queue (upstairs).
No false bonhomie at midnight.
4 seconds home from event to bed (no taxi/bus/whatever)
£125 better off, plus significant difference between riverboat bar bill and my fridge ((upmarket champagne) bill.
Humbug | 06.12.18 - 8:12 p.m. | #
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I do love a bit of DG "killing the cant" of overactive PR people. Somehow I manage to avoid all this bilge wherever it's posted.
PC | 06.12.18 - 10:40 p.m. | #
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"Nothing says ‘Christmas’ like reading Kafka on your own listening to Pulp at Bar Italia."
What the actual f*** is that all about?!
Now if it had read "Nothing says ‘Christmas’ like reading A Christmas Carol on your own listening to Slade at Bar Italia." it would have made slightly more sense!
Either way, neither says 'Christmas' to me!
Cornish Cockney | 07.12.18 - 9:44 a.m. | #
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4) Does this mean that when the pop-up rooftop bar closes at the end the evening all the elves have to take down the lights and baubles in readiness for the next day?
Nigel | 07.12.18 - 10:24 a.m. | #
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14) That one booth is going to get pretty crowded by the end of winter.
Suse | 08.12.18 - 1:01 p.m. | #
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And also...
• We all know what it's like when you've got a spare room in London.
• Christmas is all about getting boozy and eating everything in sight.
• All you could ever want for Christmas is bottomless Espresso Martinis and avo’ on toast, right?
diamond geezer | Homepage | 08.12.18 - 2:59 p.m. | #
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