please empty your brain below
A masquerade for our age. Thank you.

Waterhouse | 15.07.20 - 7:20 a.m. | #

Wow just like being at work where people cant paragraph.

I cant read that DG but i get the point

Bruce Wayne | 15.07.20 - 7:51 a.m. | #

The transmission rate is already below 1 without wearing masks in shops, and the introduction of the rule the Friday after next doesn't transmit a sense of urgency about the matter, I also worry that wearing a mask makes people less cautious, and also increase the risk of infection because people will touch their face - the classic behavior on buses is to remove the mask to talk on the phone.

dg writes: numbers 9, 55, 40 and 21.

Still Anon | 15.07.20 - 7:58 a.m. | #

This piece makes it crystal clear that nothing, absolutely nothing, about masks is crystal clear.

Malcolm | 15.07.20 - 8:04 a.m. | #

although I have a friend who spent two weeks in ICU the other year and has trouble wearing a mask whilst climbing stairs and yet still wears one although my glasses fogg up when I'm wearing the things...

Andrew Bowden | Homepage | 15.07.20 - 8:07 a.m. | #

Every little thing that helps to prevent the virus from spreading is useful. Covering the mouth and nose does work and I welcome the new policy. Should be now not two weeks time.

dg writes: numbers 60, 26 and 73.

John | 15.07.20 - 8:08 a.m. | #

This might be an interesting and thought-provoking piece but I’ll never know, as it is unreadable. Shame. Until tomorrow, then.

David | 15.07.20 - 8:09 a.m. | #

covid bingo - is there a prize for anyone hearing the most excuses by the end of the month?

Ian J | 15.07.20 - 8:15 a.m. | #

Nice - lot of work for you and seemed worth the effort to read. Thank you.

john disbrow | 15.07.20 - 8:22 a.m. | #

This is a serious question. What are the warning signs for a country heading into a revolution?

Sprout Eater | 15.07.20 - 8:23 a.m. | #

I'm afraid I am old enough to remember - was it early eighties? - the debate about wearing seatbelts. There were vociferous voices then that said they were dangerous because people could be trapped in their cars by them - even though such cases were a minority and would be overshadowed by those thrown from their cars or otherwise damaged. Seems much the same with the current debate.Plus throw in then - as now - those that thought their personal civil liberties were being destroyed by such actions.

dg writes: number 70.

TomH | 15.07.20 - 8:30 a.m. | #

Although I understand the proposition that wearing a mask is unlikely in itself to worsen the crisis physiologically, it may do economically because poor saps like me, who need to wear glasses to read, find the damned things steam up my specs so going out shopping again won't happen, whilst this regulation is in force.

dg writes: numbers 68 and 32.

J. | 15.07.20 - 8:31 a.m. | #

101 exc-uses for not wearing.

What about 102: my beard stops it fitting properly

Perhaps custom masks might be more populare

Ian J | 15.07.20 - 8:37 a.m. | #

I’ll obey the rules, but will pretty much go back to only visiting supermarkets for food shopping. I love going to charity shops, bookshops etc, but don’t enjoy it enough to faff about with a mask, so I’ll buy that sort of thing online, like I did before the shops reopened.

No idea whether that’s covered in the post, because I gave up trying to read it after a couple of lines...

Baldassaro | 15.07.20 - 8:39 a.m. | #

We read every word and thought it gave an overall encapsulation of thinking and not-thinking.
Thought provoking word-artistry.
Be bothered, people.

Herbof | 15.07.20 - 9:06 a.m. | #

but I'm not sure about this but I ought to take it more seriously but I'm not sure that I can bother but I perhaps I should for the sake of others but...

popartist | 15.07.20 - 9:06 a.m. | #

"Every little thing that helps to prevent the virus from spreading is useful."

This week I will be mostly eating garlic and wearing a crucifix.

Andy Riley | 15.07.20 - 9:09 a.m. | #

It was amazing to see those who complain about snowflakes suddenly start whinging like snowflakes.

Southern Heights (Light Railway) | 15.07.20 - 9:24 a.m. | #

Impressive list of reasons given here, DG! I too question a Tory government that tells me how I should dress ;-)

Sam | 15.07.20 - 9:32 a.m. | #

People describing a mask as a muzzle in negative terms is somewhat ironic, given that like a muzzle it's protecting others from the wearer.

Andrew S | 15.07.20 - 9:41 a.m. | #

Although you don’t need to wear one in the office, although that may change, although will anyone ever work in an office again, although now China has bubonic plague so perhaps masks should be the new normal.

Tony | 15.07.20 - 9:49 a.m. | #

Hahaha! I think you must have tapped into my thought processes over the last 4 months!

Although the obvious reason for waiting 11 days to begin is so we can all have a Jolly Good Moan about it first before we submit to the inevitable and do as we're told!

Cornish Cockney | 15.07.20 - 9:56 a.m. | #

Reading that made me dizzy after a couple of lines - I can hardly imagine how painful it must’ve been for you to write.

Looking forward to tomorrow’s blog & a return to punctuation, paragraphs & legibility;)

Toni | 15.07.20 - 10:11 a.m. | #

Hear Hear Herbof.

the other eric | 15.07.20 - 10:13 a.m. | #

Although this was hard on the eyes to read Although I persevered Although & got to the very end Although it was worth the effort 😷

Kevin Too | 15.07.20 - 10:19 a.m. | #

Retail is really screwed now

John | 15.07.20 - 10:19 a.m. | #

No paragraphs. Can't read it.

Alice | 15.07.20 - 10:20 a.m. | #

Haha, fun post. Crazy how this mandate has made everyone on both sides go mad.

There’s good arguments on both sides (I have my side), though the extremes show the the sanctimonious and the conspiracists. I’ve purchased a cool looking face covering and will ride the wave for at least a little while.

Like the virus, I see this fading away, I see fewer and fewer people wearing face coverings on trains and buses by the day.

GreenKitten | 15.07.20 - 10:23 a.m. | #

A Venn diagram of Brexiters, moaning about masks, white lives matters, moaning about punctuation would probably be a circle.

Old guy | 15.07.20 - 10:32 a.m. | #

I shall be trying out my exemption card on the train tomorrow, I meet at least 3 of the listed ones. Unfortunately we have a government led by an alarmist media. Clearly home made thin masks, used many times between washings, does absolutely nothing to stop virus spread, not that there is any virus around anyway. I could scream yesterday (and would probably scream again if I was bothered to read your screed.

dg writes: numbers 57, 71, 93, 4, 9 and 100.

davews | 15.07.20 - 10:46 a.m. | #

As a mask-wearing BLM-supporting remain-voting punctuation pedant, I strongly disagree with Old guy.

Alan | 15.07.20 - 10:53 a.m. | #

To those who are having trouble reading it: cut and paste the whole lot into Word; change all instances of although into paragraph ends ^p ; select all; format as numbered list. Takes about 10 seconds max.

Tim W | 15.07.20 - 10:57 a.m. | #

The world is divided between those who have consideration for others and those who do not and the mask issue neatly encapsulates the divide.

JohnC | 15.07.20 - 12:19 p.m. | #

The world is divided between people who blindly obey any old crap the government dreams up and people who are capable of analysing risk and making their own minds up.

bert | 15.07.20 - 12:21 p.m. | #

You missed: '..although it would have been worse with that Jeremy Corbyn in charge'

ActonMan | 15.07.20 - 12:42 p.m. | #

The official advice is still to stay at home as much as possible, and limit contact with other people.

Andrew | 15.07.20 - 1:53 p.m. | #

GreenKitten, I was on a bus yesterday going for my annual eye test, when the driver turned away a woman with 2 children (one of them in a pushchair) because she didn't have a face covering.

Ian | 15.07.20 - 2:09 p.m. | #

I don’t care if there’s a blackout and the German bombers are overhead, I want to leave the lights on in my house.

dg writes: number 24.

Nicholas Bennett | 15.07.20 - 2:28 p.m. | #

I enjoyed all 101 thoughts, though will confess I also split the block of text into 101 rows.

TomH | 15.07.20 - 2:43 p.m. | #

JohnC and Tina. You may both be right, (if that is logically possible).

It was explained early on that the moist breath agglutinates many virus particles so they get jammed together in the 3-micron (ish) pores of face masks, reducing transmission by up to 70%. As you won’t know if your breath contains virus then it’s a wise, thoughtful, kind and positive thing to wear a ruddy mask. Even if, like me, your glasses steam up. New slogan - shut up, put up, steam up. Just don’t pass it on to me.

Herbof | 15.07.20 - 2:44 p.m. | #

Had to do this to save my eyeballs
https://pastebin.com/SEWQLLJL

Adam | 15.07.20 - 4:17 p.m. | #

I have a theory on why the delay in it becoming an offence; It's lowest common denominator risk. If it was enacted overnight, you would potentially have the issue whereby someone is refused service of food because they didn't own a mask, which could be a risk to life. Masks aren't readily available on the high street (or at least weren't, I wouldn't have a clue which shop I might obtain one in a physical store) so that forces folks online. Assume a 3-4 day lead time, plus delivery. But, by announcing it in advance, folks start wearing them early who have them (and sentiment from friends suggests about half of people in stores near them have started wearing masks).

(To go for a Bingo haul, I would have preferred they be mandated as a condition of lockdown being eased, a quid-pro-quo as it were, )

R | 15.07.20 - 4:23 p.m. | #

Just to say where to buy coverings, here some places I have seen them where I live so may provide ideas.

Pharmacies - probably the most obvious.
Home goods stores - like your cheap pound shops and other stores that sell rather random ranges of home and garden stuff
Clothes retailers - I saw some independent shops advertising them but also note they are for sale on the m&s website so presume they will be in stores too.

And one I haven't checked but am sure will be the case - supermarkets. They're bound to see the benefits of having them.

Hope that helps.

Andrew Bowden | Homepage | 15.07.20 - 6:48 p.m. | #

DG is channeling his inner James Joyce here!

James Webber | 15.07.20 - 7:25 p.m. | #

Whereas although is maybe more modern, you can't beat a bit of barrister braggadocio. We, the party of the third part want whereas weinstated in the annals amediately.

JP | 15.07.20 - 8:59 p.m. | #

Working on the railway, face coverings have been compulsory for a little while now - interesting to see exactly the same comments being rolled out about shops now. This post is spot on.

TC | 15.07.20 - 9:13 p.m. | #

I like it when a post makes the reader work a bit. Good stuff.

Puts me in the mind of the Gove-Johnson yea-but-no-but-yea-but-commonsense-but-threebagsfull-but carryon.

It's also a perfect illustration of what Twitter does to my brain, on the rare occasions I visit, though unencumbered by the various hieroglyphs and number counts.

NickW | 15.07.20 - 9:42 p.m. | #

Why is your post an unreadable wall of text?

It's so hard to read that there's no way to know if what you've written actually makes any sense or not.

Doppelfrog | 28.07.20 - 12:12 a.m. | #











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