please empty your brain below
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Very 'communal' this cupboard is.
Alfie | 27.05.16 - 7:00 a.m. | #
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So, how are these posts getting through?
| 27.05.16 - 7:04 a.m. | #
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Who 'owns' the key to a communal cupboard?, perhaps you have to fight a demon on the roof of the flats, or go on a quest to Wanstead Flats.
| 27.05.16 - 7:06 a.m. | #
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Reminds me of the IT Crowd episode when Jen is given the internet in a box. Perhaps when that cupboard is opened then everyone's internet will escape!
Peewit | 27.05.16 - 7:15 a.m. | #
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You did well to get a technician to visit so quickly. I have heard of people waiting for many days.
As you are in an apartment you are probably in the range of many WiFi routers, have you not got a friendly neighbour who could temporally let you share their WiFi connection?.
Maybe you are enjoying the break from the internet.
John | 27.05.16 - 7:17 a.m. | #
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I feel we could have a 21st century update to "The Gasman Cometh" by Flanders and Swann.
Dave | Homepage | 27.05.16 - 7:20 a.m. | #
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Turning the internet from a "series of tubes" to, first "a series of tubes and light railways", then "a series of tubes and light railways and overground services", and now "a series of tubes and light railways, overground services and now trams" was always gonna be a risk.
New Addington was the straw that broke the router camel's back ;)
Dominic H | 27.05.16 - 7:37 a.m. | #
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# Dave
Good idea,Dave.
'Twas on a Friday morning the locksmith came to call'
This topic could run and run DG. But one good thing has come from this and that is that I've been able to catch up on your posts for the last two weeks. The 'free wi-fi' advertised wasn't up to snuff,in fact you could only connect if you sat by the pool right over in the corner by the noisy filter machinery. 😎
Jo W | 27.05.16 - 7:55 a.m. | #
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Oooooh! This is turning into a thriller! Or a horror story!
Leuconoe | 27.05.16 - 8:04 a.m. | #
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Many communal cupboards have a standard FB1 key to allow quick access to the Fire Brigade and other like meter readers and SERVICES ENGINEERS, A decent locksmith shop will sell you one if you are in a hurry or the internet is awash with them for a couple of quid. Sometimes tenants of a building will also have one if their electricity meter is in such a cupboard.
dg writes: Not this cupboard, alas.
Mike | 27.05.16 - 8:11 a.m. | #
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This is getting very suspenseful!
Sarah | Homepage | 27.05.16 - 8:18 a.m. | #
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As Domenic H hints, I too suspect TfL being behind this in connection with the new 'might as well give up and use the London's rail and tube map' tube map with added trams.
John Styles | 27.05.16 - 8:21 a.m. | #
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If all occupants of your set of flats are affected then maybe it's "Lock Blocks Block Shock" headline time. Or have I somehow missed the key to all this?
Herbof | 27.05.16 - 9:01 a.m. | #
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This is turning into quite the saga!
Will will the key be found ....?
Will another engineer come out in time ....?
Will DG be connected before the dreaded Bank Holiday hits....?
.... cue EastEnders music .....
Cornish Cockney | 27.05.16 - 9:09 a.m. | #
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DG could be on a week long sojourn somewhere, posting one liners from his luxury villa in Marbella while leaving us hounds baying for pictures of buses and trains.
Dan | 27.05.16 - 9:13 a.m. | #
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If there's no internet, perhaps you should go for a walk. ;)
Julian Bond | Homepage | 27.05.16 - 9:15 a.m. | #
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Dunno if you're in Marbella or not. Sometimes the keys to communal cupboards are standard, at least that's what a locksmith in Highbury told me many years ago when I presented a key for copying. He handed me one without needing to copy mine. Apparently often used for leccy meter cupboards etc. Was HA place, but might be same in dg Towers.
Lorenzo | 27.05.16 - 9:25 a.m. | #
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@ Cornish Cockney - or is this really an adventure featuring the Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London DG Town? ..... Find out next time.
PC | 27.05.16 - 9:33 a.m. | #
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If it's BT, can you not connect to a wifi network BTwifi or BT FON? There are hotspots everywhere and you just use your BT login details.
Running Corespondent | 27.05.16 - 9:42 a.m. | #
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Is this the key you are looking for?
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Southord-Fire-Brigade-Key-FB2/dp/B011SE6M6W
mdb0 | 27.05.16 - 10:54 a.m. | #
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This is some of your best work.
NJ | 27.05.16 - 11:06 a.m. | #
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Somehow this posting style feels familiar.
>OPEN CUPBOARD
It is locked.
>I
You are carrying:
DISCONNECTED LAPTOP
SMARTPHONE (LOW BATTERY)
HOUSE KEYS
EMPTY WALLET
NO TEA
>ASK ENGINEER TO OPEN CUPBOARD
I do not understand.
Etc, etc etc.
Kabson | 27.05.16 - 11:08 a.m. | #
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The 'story' so far. Internet connection lost. Engineer 'summoned' but requires access to a locked cupboard that a key is not 'forthcoming'? I get the feeling there is more but it not being said. Why not at least make a proper posting about the 'saga'...with the odd picture or two instead of the sad two line posts?
Grumpy Anon | 27.05.16 - 11:37 a.m. | #
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I miss the posts, but confess to enjoying the freshness of this klaxon-free jazz freestyle comments arena!
Frank F | 27.05.16 - 11:41 a.m. | #
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Does anyone remember the terrifying apocalypse vision DG wrote some years back? I've forgot exactly when.
Leuconoe | 27.05.16 - 12:04 p.m. | #
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This will go down in legend, rivalling Bristow's Great Tea Trolley Disaster of '68....
... DG's Great Internet Out(r)age of '16 !
Gerry | 27.05.16 - 12:05 p.m. | #
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I guess DG is exercising his creative writing skills in the haiku form. We are the event and the audience. I think you'll find it's harder than it looks to emulate Flanders & Swann.
Old Buccaneer | 27.05.16 - 12:08 p.m. | #
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I've been through this before with Virgin Media. They had to get into a locked cupboard to do the install. I moved before they ever got into that cupboard.
somabc | 27.05.16 - 12:48 p.m. | #
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Thank heavens for your trusty Z470xi mobile so that you can still post!
(Leu, the apocalypse posts are all of January 2007)
Geofftech | 27.05.16 - 1:02 p.m. | #
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So the folks at the British Library must be going like seriously we are archiving this?
Greg | 27.05.16 - 1:09 p.m. | #
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Yes Geofftech...or he could use a free wi-fi spot!
Ultra-Man | 27.05.16 - 1:11 p.m. | #
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The old klaxon was in fact deployed extremely rarely. So the real difference in this free-style comment area is a much-diminished fear of klaxon. This has evidently increased the quantity of comments, but I'm not yet wonderfully impressed by their quality.
Malcolm | 27.05.16 - 1:11 p.m. | #
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@ Malcolm
And your comment is off-topic...the post (small as it is) is not about 1) klaxon use 2) 'free-style' of comments 3) quantity of comments 4) quality of comments. It about a cupboard and a key!
E | 27.05.16 - 1:18 p.m. | #
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Looking at the creativity of commentators is an entertainment on its own right.
Seriously, I believe the potential blog posts have been sitting around already. As soon as DG finds a way to upload them without exceeding any kind of quota, we'll surely witness a keying (sorry I mean blogging) spree.
Patrickov | 27.05.16 - 1:48 p.m. | #
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Maybe take a pedal to 'Midtown' to pass the time?
Using the new cycle superhighway of course.
steve | 27.05.16 - 1:52 p.m. | #
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Media event worthy perhaps of on inclusion BBC1 london news at 6.30pm tonight...
ps whatever maybe going on, hope you're ok, miss dg normality.
REB | 27.05.16 - 2:13 p.m. | #
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Use the sort of the key the cops call, 'The Big Red Key' or 'The Enforcer'.
I too cannot help but suspect that something is afoot here....
Chris | Homepage | 27.05.16 - 2:17 p.m. | #
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'The Enforcer'?! Bit drastic!
Working Class Hero | 27.05.16 - 4:32 p.m. | #
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[Off-topic!] I see from @mbd0 how easy and cheap it is to buy 'Fire Brigade' keys.
Aargh, will have to think now about what to do to make a security gate more secure.
Bob L-S | 27.05.16 - 5:04 p.m. | #
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@Gerry - wasn't the tea trolley disaster 1967?
Running Corespondent | 27.05.16 - 5:16 p.m. | #
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@ Running Corespondent
I remember the Bristow strip referring to '68 but, like all good legends, the date varies.
Sometimes it's '68, sometimes it's '67.
Gerry | 27.05.16 - 5:40 p.m. | #
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on-topic...where IS the key?
E | 27.05.16 - 6:27 p.m. | #
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DGs shortest ever posts bring longest ever comments list!
James Webber | 27.05.16 - 7:32 p.m. | #
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I like doughnuts without holes a little more than I like doughnuts with holes
Dominic H | 27.05.16 - 8:50 p.m. | #
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I await tomorrow's 7am update with bated breath...
Sarah | 27.05.16 - 9:44 p.m. | #
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I was tempted with a doughnut post myself
Gladys | 27.05.16 - 11:48 p.m. | #
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Remeber reading the Bristow tea trolley disaster as it happened in the Evening Standard. Probably now be the Great DG Disaster.
splashy | Homepage | 28.05.16 - 12:29 a.m. | #
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Surely the record number of comments to a DG post is significantly greater than this... over 100 or even 200 perhaps? Does anyone remember?
Is DG trying to flush out the commenters who have remained silent in recent months? Or perhaps he really has an internet problem...
Andrew | 28.05.16 - 9:05 a.m. | #
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Well, in the meantime we need some conspiracy theories to explain the real reason for the Great Blog Outage of '16 ! So I offer a few.
1. Before long there will be a Somewhere Different postcard from Pyongyang. Their 4G and wi-fi isn't universal and DG's minder is never far away...
2. Mea culpa ! I gently ribbed DG about the OFF-TOPIC KLAXON and he kindly took it on board. (Sorry I didn't say thanks - I'm clean out of Round Tuits.) So DG has now set up the ultimate experiment in seeing what happens without strict moderation, a bit like the conductor taking a break and just letting the orchestra play on without him.
3. DG is a reluctant inmate, sworn to secrecy, at a Bonding & Brainstorming Beano that HR have set up at the most isolated and offline hotel that they could find.
Gerry | 28.05.16 - 9:56 a.m. | #
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@ Andrew
Comments record for one post I recall being 140 for DGs 50th birthday. Not really a post as such but that is the highest I remember recently.
E | 28.05.16 - 12:16 p.m. | #
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