please empty your brain below
What is the rule? 3 minutes without oxygen, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food. You'll be fine.

Andrew | 17.03.17 - 7:38 a.m. | #

Lucozade Rant:
The sole point of Lucozade is that it's sugar and fizzy water. Now they are marketing sugar free Lucozade ffs.

mikes | 17.03.17 - 7:56 a.m. | #

I don't buy tea, because it never tastes as good as the cup of tea I make - not only that, but my cup holds a pint, not one of these 'thimbles' shops use.

If its hot, I do buy water as I can't be faffed to carry it about with me when I leave home.

I do occasionally buy ginger beer with sugar, as opposed to sugar free, because I use it for cooking.

Still anon | 17.03.17 - 8:09 a.m. | #

It seems perfectly normal to me. I'm pretty much exactly the same.

Jimmy | 17.03.17 - 8:10 a.m. | #

Tea bags are the work of the Devil!

Victor Vectis | 17.03.17 - 8:22 a.m. | #

As is Diet Coke, Diet Fanta, diet anything...

Richard | 17.03.17 - 8:24 a.m. | #

Me too... I must have something to drink when I'm eating but otherwise have nothing from one meal to the next.

Richard | 17.03.17 - 8:26 a.m. | #

I empathise, I could have written every word. Like you DG I hate spending money on products where the margins are gross (sic). I am amazed at how many people I see wandering the streets clutching a coffee, I assume, and they clearly aren't all the free ones a My Waitrose card allows. A very manifest example of how many people have money to boil if not waste. Perhaps Hammond could fill part of his NICs black hole by taxing 'drinks to go' (but call it a Litter Tax, not VAT)!

Julian | 17.03.17 - 8:26 a.m. | #

Glad to hear it is not just me. I can go hours without needing to get a drink and nice cup of tea will do just fine. My daughters on the other hand are fully paid up member of the cult of Hydration and cannot leave the house without a bottle of water in hand or stopping at the coffee shop en route (or both).

Jimbo | 17.03.17 - 8:46 a.m. | #

Even though I don't like coffee, I will drink it when I have to buy a drink out because the quality of 'tea' in most outlets is so abysmal and it makes me cross at the money I've wasted. I'd rather waste money on something I know I'm no going to enjoy and can't actually tell whether it's any good or not.
i have in the past tried (with varying degrees of success) to get an extra teabag in my mini pot (without paying extra) on the grounds that if they are advertising tea at that price, it should *be* tea, not faintly coloured water. People (hi Victor) can be sniffy about teabags but a decent (i.e. Yorkshire) teabag in a mug produces a damned sight better cup of tea than the assortment of roughly chopped leaves and twigs crammed into a strainer with no room to circulate that you get in trendy coffee shops trying to be clever.

Oh dear, you've got me started on tea.

Sarah | Homepage | 17.03.17 - 8:54 a.m. | #

I'm retired now about ten years. Prior to that the schools I visited to support pupils began increasingly to provide their charges with plastic water containers. These were periodically filled with water and used to ensure (I kid you not) 'that the brain was always wet'. After a while, some bright spark introduced this at my own school. I have never seen any evidence to support this 'theory'.

Brian | 17.03.17 - 9:01 a.m. | #

I can sympathise on buying coffee and tea when out and about due to the outrageous prices and iffy quality. However, there is a place around the corner from work that I shamefully do visit on occasion. They charge £2.90(!!) for a small cup of flat white. But christ almighty is it *good* coffee. The coffee drinkers will know what I mean when I say it tastes even better than it smells.

I don't even begrudge them the price, because around here it's only 50p more than you'd pay for a mediocre bucket of warm dishwater. So in contrast it seems good value. Almost.

Chz | 17.03.17 - 9:27 a.m. | #

a fully paid up member of the cappuccino club here

Caz | 17.03.17 - 9:56 a.m. | #

I learned last year that maybe we can be a little over-critical of the price of a drink over here.
I was in Zurich and needed a loo, and the only place I could see was a Starbuck's. To use the loo you have to be 'a customer' - which isn't completely unreasonable - so I ordered a hot chocolate. I think it's got to be the most expensive wee I've ever had: six quid!!!

R-dubya | 17.03.17 - 10:00 a.m. | #

I refuse to accept tea flask entitlement as an exclusive domain for the elderly! On a winter hillwalking trip with friends, all of us younger than you, I pulled out my flask to celebrate the summit moment, which instantly made me a hero and subsequently boosted the flask ownership rate in the group to 100%. In the right context, tea flasks are cool (ok, doesn't really work as a pun)!

commonliner | 17.03.17 - 10:02 a.m. | #

I'm under 30 and I feel the same way as DG does in this post.

In primary school if we wanted to meet a friend outside school, we would go to each other's houses.

In secondary school we would go to play some sport and then some cheap local restaurant. Occasionally, the cinema.

In the first year of university it was still usually some restaurant. If we are going to eat something, I don't mind ordering a drink even if it is a bit expensive.

However, at some point, my friends stopped being interested in having meals together and only wanted to meet in bars. This means that I still need to find somewhere to eat afterwards! And if they do want to go for a meal, it's always some gourmet restaurant where everyone spends £40 on the food only!

At the start of university, everyone brought their own bottles (of tap water) from home to lectures. At some point, this transitioned to buying a £2 coffee every day.

I don't really like alcoholic drinks either. This means that if I go to the pub with colleagues, I never want more than one. Since the most senior guy always gets the first round, I very rarely need to pay, which makes me feel bad.

The problem is in the UK there are very few places where you can actually sit down with people and talk, or get out your laptop and work but not in silence (if you want to be outside the house) without buying a drink. In other countries, there seem to be many random places where you can sit down, indoors but not at home, and take as long as you like without any need to buy anything.

Lastly, normal is just whatever more than 50% of people do.

John | 17.03.17 - 10:07 a.m. | #

I'm pretty much the same as DG. Used to buy a can of fizz at lunchtime when I was working but stopped when I ceased work. Haven't bought any since and don't miss it at all. I never frequent coffee shops, cafes or take away outlets on my own as I find the price objectionable. I may fill a plastic bottle with tap water if it's a warm day and I'm going to be whizzing about but that's it. I do have a bottle of squash but it lasts forever - again pretty much a thing for warm days to add a little flavour to any tap water I'll drink.

I have slightly relaxed my "don't buy alcohol at the shops" rule recently. That was merely to take advantage of some very nice beer at an affordable price from a certain German owned supermarket. Otherwise my alcohol consumption is very low indeed as I hardly ever go to the pub. My doctor and the surgery nurse never seem to believe when I say my annual consumption is a pint every 3-4 months. Seems many people rack more than that amount up on an average day.

PC | 17.03.17 - 10:13 a.m. | #

Well as somebody who runs miles (and miles) I take a similar view. My running mates have all sorts of gels, sugary sports drinks, flat coke and who knows what else in their drinks bottles? I just have plain old tap water.

However, tea bags are a bit lazy. I always use loose tea made in a pot even just for me. The tea is usually a poncy Assam, which is nice and strong.

Running_Correspondent | 17.03.17 - 10:52 a.m. | #

Essentials nowadays seem to be a phone,a drink and a steam powered dummy.

Jerym | 17.03.17 - 10:53 a.m. | #

Oh my, what a lot of "me too" comments. Oh, and "me too".

Extra teabags in bought tea are a no-no, because they have to stop somewhere. The rule seems to be that you can have extra water, extra cups, extra sugar, extra milk, without paying extra. If they also allowed extra teabags, then you could supply a football team with "one cup" of tea.

Malcolm | 17.03.17 - 10:59 a.m. | #

Agree with your Puritan ethic re. the mark-up on takeaway coffee and the madness of bottled water in or out of home.

But the cynic in you is missing out on the joy of a pot of tea in a traditional tea-shop (a sadly dying breed) and the fellowship of wine with friends at dinner. Order the cheapest bottle that gives pleasure.

Hydration is important. Lack of it can lead to sanctimony. It seems.

David | 17.03.17 - 11:06 a.m. | #

I also feel awkward if invited to a coffee shop as I don't drink hot drinks at all, and rarely any fizzy drinks, so an awkward bottle of overpriced water seems to be the only option.

Al | 17.03.17 - 11:24 a.m. | #

I am about the same.
Only make tea at home (decaffeinated),
never buy bottled water.
Drink water from the tap.
Take water with me when going out.
Whatever happened to the campaign to get more drinking water fountains in London?

John | 17.03.17 - 11:56 a.m. | #

The price paid in a coffee shop is mainly covering overheads, the ingredients cost is minimal.

Howard | 17.03.17 - 12:02 p.m. | #

At home:

Coffee (instant, but that pseudo-high-end instant) - about 10p a cup.
Occasionally tea (I can palate the Yorkshire Tea I find).

Squash (high juice) - I actively dislike the taste of London tap water.

Fruit juice - rarely, but theres some around for when the boy is demanding.

At work:

Free coffee from the now decent coffee machine. Unlimited. Occasionally a tea, as the final drink of the day.

Occasionally, a meal deal plastic bottle of something unhealthy and sugary. However since meal deals became barely-deals, this is a lot less often than it used to be.

Out and About: Beer (usually cask ale). In a pub. I'd far rather pay £3-£5 for a beer than £3 for a coffee. I prefer pubs aesthetically to sit in, there's far more atmosphere, nobody on laptops, it's just a better choice.

Charity Things (School fetes, etc): Tea or Coffee for 50p even though it's nothing special, because I'm supporting them.

Sunday Mornings: The boy has an activity. I get a full english breakfast with free coffee whilst that happens.

And yes, the boy has a water bottle for school. I remember having to wait until breaktime to use the shared water fountain in the playground.

Sykobee | 17.03.17 - 1:20 p.m. | #

If you can allow yourself to go through the doors, Mcdonalds will sell you a cup of PG for 99p. You do get a strange look from the assistant when you say "that right, just the tea please"

Don't start me on the "can I get a coffee" thing instead of "can I please have"

Mike | 17.03.17 - 1:27 p.m. | #

ah...1st world problems again. perhaps spare a thought for those without safe, clean drinking water.

Grumpy Anon | 17.03.17 - 1:39 p.m. | #

The best way to get a drink out of DG is to stick your fingers down his throat.

dg writes: I presume that's meant to be funny.

Uncle Audrey | 17.03.17 - 1:47 p.m. | #

Nothing yet about "energy drinks?" There's plenty not to like about those.

A friend works for a company which extracts all the good elements from milk, and then sells the whey on to energy drinks companies so that it can go into their products. Saves having to throw the whey away!

Temp | 17.03.17 - 2:24 p.m. | #

I go one better. I don't buy rounds in the pub either. I might buy myself a coke or, if I'm feeling particularly adventurous, a half of whatever. But this sort of half hearted beverage consumption makes joining in the fun of buying rounds financially disadvantageous. With the wrong group of friends, it's plain old financial suicide. They'd disagree with me, I guess. But then, they're bladdered. So they would, wouldn't they...

Gary Denness | Homepage | 17.03.17 - 2:27 p.m. | #

I think, and hope, "buying rounds" may be slightly on the way out.

I've nothing against a group of friends organizing their drinking in that way if they wish. But it would be nice if the alternative (everyone just buys what they want for themself, when they want) could be a socially available choice.

I have a vague impression, not backed up by detailed study, that this freedom (not to buy rounds if you don't want to) is more widely available in other countries than the anglosphere.

Malcolm | 17.03.17 - 2:48 p.m. | #

I buy drinks when I'm out and regard the price as 'bum rent' - the price I pay to sit down away from the crowds/elements.
I don't spend much time in these places though.
I never bought drinks at work though.

Helen D Vecht | 17.03.17 - 3:15 p.m. | #

As a more elderly member of the community I need to have a sit down now and then between other activities. So a warm, dry coffee shop (with a loo too)is a useful place to visit. Buy the most basic coffee with no added foam of sprinkles, have a quiet read or do some people watching and listening (can be as good as a DG bus ride for interesting conversations). Then, suitably refreshed, go out and continue doing the shopping or looking around the museum or artworks.

| 17.03.17 - 3:16 p.m. | #

This blog post proves why you're single.

Mark | 17.03.17 - 4:27 p.m. | #

I like the occasional coffee whilst out and about, not to mention the sticky buns also on offer. I have only visted Starbucks once, I objected to having to give my first name to be written on the paper cup and announced to the world at large when the drink was ready. I wished afterwards I had identified myself as Agamemnon, or Korneliusz, or something utterly non-pronounceable.

Tony (Somerset) | 17.03.17 - 4:46 p.m. | #

Lucozade was mentioned earlier; yesterday they were giving away free sample cans of the new sugarfree version in Liverpool St station. I took 2, the 'pink lemonade' one tasted very acid and artificial, I may not bother with the 'orange'one.
Like others writing above, I don't like hot drinks, have now been advised for medical reasons to avoid caffeine which I've found easy except that coffee is often an expected part of socialising.

amber | 17.03.17 - 8:08 p.m. | #

DG, Uncle Audrey is paraphrasing the not-immortal (because he's very definitely dead) Douglas Adams. From the Guide's section on Vogons.

Chz | 17.03.17 - 8:43 p.m. | #

I completely agree.

Jonathan | 17.03.17 - 10:23 p.m. | #

£1 starbucks filter coffee for me, otherwise I'm like you DG - no other drinks

AG | 17.03.17 - 10:27 p.m. | #

Mark That's a bit cruel. Perhaps it's the other way round. When I was single I rarely visited a coffee shop. I almost had a row with gf about merits of stopping off in such a place (apparently it was cold) on a walk. Now I'm quite unsingle and have even been known to suggest such a stop. Last one was on a walk in Norfolk last weekend, two coffees, three cakes/ scones 2 sugary childrun's drinks £15 with ordinary tip. Erm.

Lorenzo | 18.03.17 - 1:51 a.m. | #

He's tighter than a duck's butt, Lorenzo. Women run a mile from that.

Mark | 18.03.17 - 7:41 a.m. | #

When i go out i always take a straw with me and if i feel dehydrated i simply suck up water from the nearest puddle. I get the occasional comment and rock thrown at me but it saves me a fortune and my immune system gets to keep busy processing whatever 'roughage' i've inhaled.

milo Bell | 18.03.17 - 7:42 a.m. | #

Mark, whilst some (many?) may be put off, not all women are. I'm put off by women expecting near constant financial adoration.

Al | 18.03.17 - 9:46 a.m. | #

The major costs of any soft drink in a café comprise, in order of importance:
1. Staff wages
2. Rent
3. Business rates
4. Other taxes
5. Ingredients

Thus your glass of tap water is not "free" but you are expecting the business to absorb costs 1-4 on your behalf. Not a problem for Starbucks but for a small independent outlook operating on tiny margins such costs add up.

AMS | 18.03.17 - 2:02 p.m. | #

I'm sat in a canalside cafe with a reader. I've just bought a pot of tea for two.

diamond geezer | Homepage | 18.03.17 - 2:59 p.m. | #

Thanks for that comment, DG. My best laugh of the day.

Great Aunt Annie | 18.03.17 - 11:15 p.m. | #

Is this a hint at February's mystery count - how many solo drinks DG has purchased?

PG | 19.03.17 - 3:27 p.m. | #

Another "me too" here.
Plus it has the added benefit of not needing to look for a loo when out and about!

Cornish Cockney | 20.03.17 - 8:56 p.m. | #











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