please empty your brain below

No, I didn't see that Cumming(s).
Delicious sting in the tail!
I know everyone hates Dominic Cummings, but given that he (inevitably) became ill after his wife did, I think what it would would have been like for the 4 year old child if they'd remained in London, and he'd have been stuck in a house, alone with two sick parents, and whether the next available close relative would then have to drive down to London anyway to look after him.
Calais should be easy, just hop into a rubber dinghy, start rowing from Dover and the Royal Navy and French navy will escort you across. Oh wait a minute - it only works the other way.
The best Cummings point was made by a politician in a BBC TV interview yesterday morning. To paraphrase (as I can't remember it word-for-word), "If you are in Downing Strret and you have a childcare problem, it will be solved for you."

It's interesting which places are equidistant from London.
I'm really glad I kept reading to the end.

Even the Daily Torygraph are reporting that Cummings' Brother-in-Law lives in London, so emergency childcare would not have necessitated a long journey by a relative (which anyway would have been one infection-free person travelling rather than anyone who was known to be infectious).
Crewe is a dump. The railway heritage centre would keep you enterntained for a while, but there's nothing else there. Far nicer is the town of Nantwich about 5 miles away (you can get a bus or train) with it's half-timbered buildings, one of the best medieval parish churches in the country (Simon Jenkins agrees) and lovely little museum. There's also some very pleasant walks by the river Weaver and local canals. (It's also where I grew up!)
Thank you for the laugh - more funny punchlines please.
Maybe you should revisit the comments you made before the lockdown.
I wonder if you considered the other Goring in West Sussex. Just over 50 miles from your gaff. Keith Emerson & Billy Idol both lived there. However it's not known as Boring-by-Sea for nothing.

dg writes: If it's 'just over 50', then no.
Love your Durham finale...

Re Dungeness and Jarman's cottage. I almost visited yesterday. I say almost because, despite visiting a few times before, I'd never realised that the road to the lighthouse (which you need to use to get to the cottage) is a private road. Road block and security guard was preventing non residents using the road yesterday. I could have got to Jarman's cottage by walking along the shingle beach, but that's very tedious in motorcycle boots....
After two months stuck in London, it was nice to see the sea!
(Before anyone gets upset. Regulations now permit travel of any distance within England for recreation, so long as not in a group and social distance maintained - all true for my trip)
And yet thousands of people have been sick with kids in the house (including NHS workers) and managed not to break lockdown, not to mention the much-overlooked fact that he also broke self-isolation rules, the main thing that stops you from spreading the virus to others. Did he stop for petrol on the way there or back? Surely. For a coffee? And if he'd broken down? Also from the sounds of timeline they were sick one after the other, not simultaneously. We've been sick with two kids home (4 and 2) and it's awful but you get through it. Unlimited Netflix for kids is the answer to coping, not a trip to infect your own relatives along with the rest of the country and break the rules you set (it's not even about rules, it's about common sense and common decency).
Superb work DG.
Regulation 6 of the Coronavirus Regulations still says that we all must stay at home unless we have a reasonable excuse. The amended list of reasonable excuses now includes someone visiting “a public open space for the purposes of open-air recreation to promote their physical or mental health or emotional wellbeing”. Quite how one should do that, including how far one should travel, is left to the common sense and personal responsibility of the individual concerned.

It is easy to understand why someone might want to leave London at the height of the infection’s exponential growth to stay at a second home in the countryside. But it is hard to interpret a road trip of 250 miles, with a sick partner and a small child, to visit potentially vulnerable elderly relatives, as “reasonable”. Let alone in compliance with the guidance, or indeed moral.

From Guardian comments yesterday “it would be like Emu sacking Roy Hud”
I gave a spontaneous little clap at the end. Nice work.
While there are other reasons not to go to France right now, quarantining yourself is not one of them. The 14-day isolation only applies when returning to England by air. Ferry or train is apparently much safer.
Apart from the practicalities/ethics of getting there, Barrow-in-Furness has the highest infection rate in the country (three times the English average), so perhaps it's not quite the moment to explore whatever charms it may have.
I started inwardly cheering when you got to my birth county of Durham. Then I read to the end. Yuk
Alderney needs just a single plane from Southampton, easily reached by train. The current regulations do not prohibit travel by public transport unless there is no other way (you are not going to drive to Alderney..) and what is more I understand the Channel Islands have now relaxed their lockdown so there is plenty for a tourist to do. Lovely island, had several trips there.

Will have a long long walk this afternoon but still sadly within 2 miles from home.
Boris Johnson's performance at yesterday's press conference had Dominic Cummings' fingerprints all over it. A kick in the teeth for everyone who contributed to the national lockdown effort.

Boris Johnson dare not sack Cummings though because he'd be even more impotent without him. A classic case of the tail wagging the dog.

We are off to Epping and High Beech for a socially distancing walk after lunch and hopefully the tea hut will be open.
Our daughter lives in Durham and we may take a trip to visit her later this week now that long trips have been "sanctioned" by No. 10.
There's something seriously wrong in this country when an unelected individual is effectively sculpting government polices.
I spent Saturday on a socially distanced walk in Epping Forest. I drove the 6 miles to High Beach and parked the car there - I arrived before 10 am and got one of the few remaining spaces. (New 'red route' parking restrictions now apply on the forest roads and cars parked there were being ticketed.) The tea hut was open, with its seating area taped off. I spent the best part of five hours walking in the forest, mostly 'off piste' and apart from at High Beach itself, I hardly saw a person all day.
Brilliant ending!! Spot on as always.

Me? I'd go in the opposite direction to Newquay, but even in a car a day trip would be impossible!
Went to Goring for the first time last year and can highly recommend it. Much less busy than better known towns on the Thames but just as pretty. And all reachable on a direct train from Paddington.
Sevenoaks is quite feasible ! Walk or wobble on a Boris bike to London Bridge, a fast 25 minute rail journey and then it's well under a mile across the Vine cricket ground and down to the Hole in The Wall entrance to Knole Park. (BTW, no Sennockian would ever say 'Deer Park', that's just a Googleism, and it's West Kent not Inner Kent.)

Unfortunately you wouldn't get any value from your NT membership because the house is closed, but the thousand acre park is spectacular right now.
the rail/sail day trip ticket to Calais really is a bargain (especially with the Network Railcard discount).

you're probably too law abiding to use the Javelin, but i've got away with it in the past.

hope you get make the trip before somebody realises what a steal it is and puts up the price!
Having Liverpool doubly farther away than Calais to DG's home, it says a lot on how close the United Kingdom's capital is to its edge.
Don't forget to visit Barnard Castle while you are in Durham as l hear it's a great place to infect other people
Emu was Rod Hull’s creation, not Roy Hudd.
Always wanted to see Alderney's tube train.
When things get back to normal!!

Alderney is possible with Ferry from Poole or Portsmouth to Guernsey, then a smaller ferry to Alderney. The Alderney ferry operated last year and was due to this year but......
Very good, even by your high standards. Thank you!

Having grown up in Middlesbrough and now living only a couple of postcode districts away from you, I was particularly delighted that you observed the (presumably approximate, but that's enough for me) equidistance of Middlesbrough and Amsterdam from London.
Sounds like you could take a train journey and socially distence. My daughter in law went to Manchester for work and she estimated there were 4 people on the train!
Scrolled straight to 230 miles looking for Durham. Excellent job DG.
Inspired creativity as always. Nicely done.
Banbury is not exciting, but it is captivating :-)
If you went as far as Luton, you could have visited the little known Someries castle (small, Tudor, brick built, overshadowed by Luton airport and was threatened by one of the expansion proposals approx. a decade ago).

dg writes: Been. Too many cows.
DG reveals that he has been on a narrow boat! That is absolutely the most exciting and significant thing about this post.

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