please empty your brain below
A little trick I know called compromise

Susie | 25.05.09 - 9:13 a.m. | #

I've been doing it for some years now.
It's called Marriage or living in de facto, which is the same as the former without the bit of paper.
I would like to know who invented it - and more to the point why?
No, it is not easy. What's more, there is no used by date that comes with it. Why?
However, I have learnt that personal space within is a must and 'we' have achieved this and so for 'us' it works.

Christine Edwards-Brown | 25.05.09 - 9:33 a.m. | #

I would never do it again. Trouble is, I seem to be stuck with it now.

Sarah | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 9:56 a.m. | #

Getting the right partner has to be the number one thing. Sounds like you didnt manage that bit. Start with a cat and work up.

Debster | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 9:58 a.m. | #

Strangely, I don't recognise any of those problems...

And you didn't only have one bathroom or one TV, so don't fib

Blue Witch | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 10:07 a.m. | #

Living together - sadly i loved it - possibly not the toothpaste round the sink, the dirty washing up, the lack of equality in household chores, the duvet stealing or the snoring - but all the rest i absolutely loved and i've only managed to do it very briefly on two occasions.
Living alone. I agree it has some major advantages. However you get none of the added extras (such as a cup of coffee in bed on a Sunday morning or a hot bath run for you when you need to destress) which I think making the living together the better option.
V+/Sky+/Tivo is the answer to the TV problem
Sadly no choice at the moment - maybe one day.

helio | 25.05.09 - 10:44 a.m. | #

I wouldn't want to live alone but I really would like my own room. My husband is not keen on that idea....

wilees | 25.05.09 - 11:00 a.m. | #

It helps to have two separate establishments - somewhere you can get away to with all your stuff. Just don't make the Significant other too comfortable there. Mine hates my two seater sofa "I can't lie on this to watch telly" Me: "It's for sitting on, not lying on".

Richard | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 11:18 a.m. | #

What a sour old fruit you sound, DG.

Exit, pursued by a bear | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 11:36 a.m. | #

Was Twitter alive 10 years ago?

Amused | 25.05.09 - 11:48 a.m. | #

I live alone and love it.

Christian | 25.05.09 - 12:19 p.m. | #

@Amused - I thought this. More likely to be 'But that's not the same, and anyway there isn't enough room on the videotape without recording over Eastenders'.

Dominic Self | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 12:39 p.m. | #

Ahem, it's something to do with one of the two doing a bit of 'household management' - the other, quite possibly unaware of this, will willingly comply because knowing what's what and where and why makes life a whole lot easier. Only prob if you have two of the ignornant of household management skills or two experts of different styles of household management. (better with the latter tho as it just takes a bit of 'communication' to sort out the differences.

Bina | 25.05.09 - 1:03 p.m. | #

"How do the rest of you do it?"

Er, quite easily actually.

Maybe our lack of lawn works in our favour. Perhaps the fact that Mr TLC has his own playroom (got to put all those guitars, CDs and DVDs somewhere) helps. Maybe it's just down to enjoying each others company.

Or could it be our highly successful rota system: we take it in turns to be in the right

three legged cat | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 2:46 p.m. | #

Separate bedrooms, separate studies. Two bathrooms, one living room, one dining room, one kitchen. It's the only way to live together, get the cup of tea in bed and not have to put up with the snoring.

Alix | 25.05.09 - 2:48 p.m. | #

Living together is easy. But add a couple of offspring into the mix and that's when things get interesting.

And just wait until they're teenagers... at which point one discovers what sort of brass tacks hold all of one's stuffing together.

Yes, it's all extremely difficult... impossible in fact... but it's just life.

Sometimes I suspect it's all a diabolical evolutionary trick to keep the whole circus going.

:0)

Jon | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 3:33 p.m. | #

Heh heh! I was just going to say try adding a number of kids into the mix but Jon beat me to it!
We have 5 aged 8-15 and everything else pales into the background! :D)
I have never once even had a cup of tea in bed, let alone breakfast!

CornishCockney | 25.05.09 - 6:29 p.m. | #

Living with ANYONE but yourself is a nightmare. I like having 4am baths and waking up to loud DnB.

I stated it in the advert I placed on Gumtree and you claimed to be a fun loving, in your face kinda person. Now its Bank Holiday Monday and Im having to hear you bang on about the recycling rota.

Some people are impossible to live with.

Mia Dickinson | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 6:49 p.m. | #

Just to be clear, the main body of today's post isn't about my 1999 living together experience. That would have been very different.

diamond geezer | Homepage | 25.05.09 - 6:57 p.m. | #

Get a cat.

- | 25.05.09 - 7:55 p.m. | #

I agree with Alix, separate spaces are essential in any partnership. On the third partner/husband now and this is the only way to go. He likes telly, I like music/books/computer. I have a space of my own. He cooks, I wash up. He shops one day, me the next. We have 3 T.V's, 2 computers, 4 radios and we have managed to get on OK for 16 years. He puts shelves up, gets rid of spiders and hangs the washing out, I fix the computer and sew buttons on. Great!
Why not give it another try DG, just lay down a few ground rules before you commit. Good Luck

SurreyGirl | 25.05.09 - 9:42 p.m. | #

Ah, the joys of being single. Having to share one bathroom can be particularly problematic. Of course, sharing your home with others can also have its advantages...

Andrewh | 25.05.09 - 10:02 p.m. | #

I think DG's already tried the cat thing. Of course it didn't work out, because cats are totally self-obsessed and don't give a toss about anyone else. I like them though -- have to admire their commitment to their own welfare.

Great Aunt Annie | 25.05.09 - 11:02 p.m. | #

Tip #1. Emigrate.

Tip #2. Find a partner who has also emigrated.

Tip #3. Ensure said partner is a sterile orphan.

adaptor-plug | 26.05.09 - 8:44 a.m. | #

I find it quite easy actually. Perhaps you just need the right partner.

Of all the things we argue about, the house is never a cause. There are chores which each prefer (which covers most of them) and we share the others.

Rachel | Homepage | 26.05.09 - 2:13 p.m. | #

I loved living alone. I did not love sharing with flatmates, even with friends. I LOVE living with Stuart, it's just plain easy. I guess it works with the right person.

Luca | Homepage | 26.05.09 - 2:14 p.m. | #

Oh I see-so it's the horror of what living together would be now.
I blame Twitter.

Amused | 26.05.09 - 7:23 p.m. | #

We have 2 properties. Alternative 4 day weekends in each others place. It's a bit inconvient sometimes taking the boys to soccer on the weekend but we get the personal space we both crave.

Wonderferret | 27.05.09 - 10:06 p.m. | #

*Soccer*??? You is obviously stateside, no?

THC | 31.05.09 - 12:05 a.m. | #

Forbearance and habit works with me and 'Er Indoors.

Strangely (?), it never seemed to work with non-bedsharers.

Jakartass | Homepage | 07.06.09 - 8:46 a.m. | #











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