please empty your brain below

I don't know enough people to even get invited to parties so on the rare occasion that I am invited to one I spend all evening talking to Q. And he, for some bizarre reason, seems to know the entire world.

You could have been writing for me, DG... how about we hold our own party, just for people like us?

There is a great online party starting here

Oh, dear. Try a chicken goujon. And some cheese puffs.

I have never liked parties, used to go to them in my teenage and 20's years.
Nowdays people no longer invite me as they know I will not attend. Great!

I used to (before getting married, anyway) frequently just disapper from parties, nights out etc. once I'd had as much as I could take. I wouldn't say goodbye to anyone, I'd just leave.

Oh dg, are you sure you're not me? I would suggest that the two of us should go to a party together but I never get invited to any either.

Drink 3 or 4 glasses of wine early doors, act a bit daft, tell anyone who asks where you work that you work in an abbatoir, remove the hosts music and insist on playing some Northern Soul you've brought with you. Works every time.

... and spell abattoir correctly

Or attend a party full of bloggers, announce that you are Diamond Geezer - yes the Diamond Geezer - and watch as the stampede forms to talk to you.

Probably a good place to mention Steven Jesse Bernstein's magnificent "Party Balloon" -

I always label party food, me. Mainly because I have a great many friends who are allergic or picky (and in once case, both).

Don't feel obliged to go if you don't enjoy them. I love parties. I like throwing them too, and I like preparing good things to eat; some of that prepared stuff is ok but most is just mush-and-msg. I wish I were invited to more parties; few things make me sadder than hearing of parties to which I haven't been invited. Sniff.

Not even the boring person will talk to me.

'tis the season of party torment, that's for sure.

Me too. And it only gets worse with age, since the topics of conversation begin to turn entirely towards money, real estate, vacations and then the inevitable turn to various stages of age related afflictions. Ugh.

People confuse noise and hysteria with happiness... which is something else entirely.


Another problem with parties is that there always seems to be some annoying R&B rubbish playing. Sometimes, just for a change, someone might request a record by someone who sounds like a strangled cat (I'm thinking Christina Aguilera or Mariah Carey here).

No, the music at many parties is rarely decent, particularly when your tastes veer towards Led Zeppelin, The Eagles or Mozart. Instead, I stay to drink a couple of glasses of lager, have a bit of a chat and a laugh with someone (if the music isn't too loud) and then head off home.

Am I antisocial? Probably .

Why do you insist on portraying yourself as socially inept?

"A glass of sherry? Are you sure?"

I empathise.

Parties are best when no-one really intended it to be a party.

Sounds very familiar....I say stick to small get togethers. Three or four friends, good conversation, food and drinks. Works every time.

Or go to Misty's, as per Debster. Always guaranteed some fun over there.

At least nobody took their clothes off this time ...

The problem with parties is that people think, "Oh, I only want 12 or so people" (or 20, or whatever) and so they only ask 12 people. Then only half turn up (there is always a no-show rate of about 50\\%; people are away, or unwell, or have other things on, or just can't be bothered to go - or they hate parties!). So you're left with a room with about 6 people who vaguely know each other making polite conversation, while the buffet that was over-generous for 15 moulders away in the corner. Absolute hell!

You echo my sentiments exactly. How do you politely tell someone that you don't want to go to their party because you know you won't like it? Curse my honesty.

@Blue Witch: Perhaps it's because we mere mortals get a bit p'd off with someone who is very clever *and* socially ept as well.

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