please empty your brain below
How dare you suggest that I take offence too easily....

Gerald | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 7:53 a.m. | #

You have to assume that they enjoy being a pain in the neck. Otherwise why waste their life being like that?

Debster | 06.03.08 - 7:58 a.m. | #

"If somebody drops a chocolate wrapper on my doorstep, I don't stab them to death."

I was with you all the way until that one.

Hg | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 8:10 a.m. | #

But, doing nothing can also be a way of opting opt of society.

Seeing problems in situations, provided one goes on to do something constructive about them, is good.

Moaning incessantly without bothering to do something about a wider underlying issue, at the appropriate level, is not.

Blue Witch | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 8:26 a.m. | #

Wise words indeed DG. Life is so much less stressful when one neither seeks nor takes offence in the actions of others.

THC | 06.03.08 - 8:28 a.m. | #

I also dont take offence. Whats the point?!

Casdok | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 8:30 a.m. | #

I agree but ... unless you are a total doormat there will be a point (or a subject) where you will take offence. And that is right and proper. That is how justice works, without it the world would not function.

Without taking it too literally, I have tried to work by the rule "I don't have rights. You have rights, I have responsibilities"

Rick | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 8:52 a.m. | #

There's also a sense of justice to others... if someone is offensive to me, fine, I can shrug it off. But when you see someone being offensive to someone else, someone who can't stand up for themselves, then it's another matter.

Of course in a crowded city like London we all have to learn to rub along, but we also have to know when to not shrug something off

disgruntled commuter | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 9:00 a.m. | #

I agree with disgruntled commuter - maybe we shouldn't take offence but what about the times when someone has to take issue?

Mother of the bride | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 9:07 a.m. | #

So it's OK for me to put my feet on the seats and play loud music?

It's not a question of "taking offence" - it's resisting the creeping discourtesy of others.
And it is this creeping discourtesy which is making London (where I have lived all my life) less and less attractive.

"If somebody drops a chocolate wrapper on my doorstep, I don't stab them to death."

There are people who stab those who ask them to desist from dropping such wrappers.

cjcjc | 06.03.08 - 9:21 a.m. | #

I'm being bullied mercilessly at work and as the only employee left (!!) it is getting harder and harder to ignore - but that's an aside.

People I do take offence to:

those that let their dogs foul the pavements/parks etc - and not scoop it up. Am I supposed to go around with the plastic bags that no longer exist and wipe up after every dog-owner who has allowed their pet to leave a huge, steaming turd right where I happen to be walking? And isn't it strange how that fresh turd is right there in front of you - yet there isn't a dog in sight - ever?

zed | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 9:27 a.m. | #

I get extremely irritated by people who put their feet up on bus seats, but I don't show it. I just snap it and have a laugh at their idiocy. I agree life's too short, and there is some merit in just moving on without showing offence, but in some ways DG, it makes the problem worse. The real issue (like you point out) is that not everybody is "harmonised" in terms of what they should display their offendedness at ...

Jag | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 9:27 a.m. | #

"creeping discourtesy" just about sums up life in the 21st century western world. Good call, cjcjc.

Katisha | 06.03.08 - 9:27 a.m. | #

Words of wisdom from you and the comments. BUT. I’d like to know the ages of you (we know that) and your visitors. Wait until you reach middle age and reasoning and common sense seem to vanish with your eye sight and hearing. Now where’s my bloody Telegraph, that lazy paper boy is late again. I’ll kill him. ECT. ECT.

Peter | 06.03.08 - 9:28 a.m. | #

"ECT. ECT"

Aaargh! It's the gorilla of 3B, Nigel Molesworth :D

I'm middle-aged too, Peter. I'm quite enjoying being a cranky old git

Katisha | 06.03.08 - 9:31 a.m. | #

Middle age seems to be giving you mild dyslexia as well, Peter

Johnny Topaz | 06.03.08 - 9:33 a.m. | #

I love your "DVD extras" on the RSS feed...

mike | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 9:57 a.m. | #

I've always thought there's two kinds of people: those that get annoyed with things, and those that get annoyed with other people.

I get annoyed with things

Rhys | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 9:57 a.m. | #

Yes, up until the point where you said 'and smile'. This is offensive in the extreme and achieves a level of irritation only second to being told to 'cheer up'. So I am afraid I will have to punch you in the mouth now.

Jack | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 9:58 a.m. | #

Giving offence is one thing, taking offence is another. I think it's rude to take offence at unwitting comments.

But what gets my goat is when new 'offensiveness' arises where there was none before. For instance, suddenly I'm told to stop saying 'eskimo' and 'dwarf'. Sod that.

I dream of a world where people feel obliged to work towards not taking offence.

Andrew Denny | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 10:05 a.m. | #

well said, ppl should mind there own business when its not verbal.

bod peters | 06.03.08 - 10:08 a.m. | #

I am offended by the garish colours on Kate's blog.

I will be unsubscribing forthwith.

Grrrrr!

Doobrie | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 10:19 a.m. | #

You've missed out those most dangerous people of all, the ones that take offense on behalf of other people.

Max Roberts | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 10:23 a.m. | #

What about the Kittens !
I was promised Kittens !

Earth Girl | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 10:32 a.m. | #

I was also promised kittens.


Josh | 06.03.08 - 10:59 a.m. | #

A couple of years ago, being offended by - and having a go at - bad drivers wasn't doing my blood pressure or state of mind any good, so I made a conscious decision to tone it down. Consequently I feel better, and less stressed.

There are still times when I feel like I need to glare at someone and shake my head pityingly to let them know that they've done something wrong (and, crucially, should be more careful in the future) but words which lead to a slanging match don't help.

My girlfriend's winning gambit is (where possible) simply to ask the driver if they would have driven so close/dangerously if it was their own daughter/mother on the bike. Cue embarrassed driver...

Wayne | 06.03.08 - 11:05 a.m. | #

The classic for me is when a British person, of under 30yrs tells me that they won the war for us (Europeans).

Miichael | 06.03.08 - 12:11 p.m. | #

I use my smallish 4x4 car about once every two weeks, if that, for short trips. I'm taxed up to the hilt, get dirty looks from people etc all because they've been told that 4x4 means gas guzzler. They don't realise that their endless daily journeys in their little tin cans with sewing machine engines are producing ten times more pollution than my once every two weeks supermarket shopping trip in a finely-tuned, efficient, modern-engined car.

The same imperious hypocrites with their repertoire of dirty looks, turn them on me when I take my tiny pooches for a walk. They have no idea that I have scoopers for the tiny droppings that these little animals produce. Presumably they are stupid enough to be on a par with the owners of Rottweilers and feeders of foxes who are responsible for far more filth.

Of course in the old days, the free-running dogs of the British Isles never excreted anything, they had some sort of electrical metabolism, and the saintly children never chucked their sweet wrappers and fish and chip newsprint on the ground. And the patrician citizens of our cities never shouted "Gardez l'eau" and poured their slops buckets out windows into the streets.

Jonathan Swift you should have lived today.

Steve | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 12:27 p.m. | #

If I may take this time to have a quick rant...

I'm also one of those people who doesn't take offence. If someone insults me, I'll just ignore it - they're bound to get what's coming to them eventually after all.

What annoys me, however, are those politically correct groups of people who believe that everything must not be offensive to anyone. They despair at people taking the mickey, even if its out of friendliness rather than spite. They force comedians to dumb down their acts - therefore making them more sterile but far less entertaining. They turn sports' days in schools into P.E. lessons where no-one wins but crucially no-one loses, just so they fit in with their "everyone must have prizes" agenda. They try to ban (or at least heavily tone down) traditional Christian festivals such as Christmas and Easter, as "it may offend non-Christians", even though every Muslim, Jew and Hindu I know are glad that we celebrate Christmas in this country.

The PC brigade is sticking its nose in everywhere - that's what gets my goat. I certainly don't think we should deliberately go out to offend people, but I agree with DG that these people need to get a sense of perspective - clearly banning competitive sports in schools will harm children in the long run, as they grow into adulthood and have to accept the bad things life throws at them along with the good.

You can tell I read the Daily Mail, can't you?

Andrewh | 06.03.08 - 12:31 p.m. | #

Read here for a rather good (if lengthy) treatise on this very subject:

http://blogs.smh.com.au/
thedaily...te\\_brigade.html

Sir Garence | 06.03.08 - 12:46 p.m. | #

Hmm, I have to deal with a colleague who takes great offense at the slightest comment. We're at the point where I don't say anything to her anymore if it's not entirely business-related and even then I'm careful about the exact words I use. It's very tiring...

I also get scowled at by some of my female colleagues when I hold doors open for them in the office - what's that all about??

The Londoneer | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 1:18 p.m. | #

yeah but we live with those that think liberty is making misery for others don't we?

gary | 06.03.08 - 1:26 p.m. | #

1. Kittens. I wantz.
2. You've just summed up the main reason why I am leaving the UK: people's aggressive attitudes. Sometimes I wonder if British people are like that because everyone is suffering from a mild form of SAD, what with all those grey skies...

The Girl | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 2:12 p.m. | #

What a great post. I don't think you can underestimate the benefit a little bit of empathy and tolerance would bring to our lives. I think for a lot of people anger and petty grudges are a sort of crutch, an angrier version people who love wallowing in self pity.

Rooney | 06.03.08 - 3:39 p.m. | #

Oh joy, a new insult! Fox-feeder! Priceless.

jack | 06.03.08 - 3:49 p.m. | #

I take offence at all this moral high ground-taking. I shall be stepping on all of your toes the next time I see you.

Huw | Homepage | 06.03.08 - 4:24 p.m. | #

Still waiting for a comment from Mr Angry.

trad or anon | 06.03.08 - 8:28 p.m. | #

I had kittens for dinner last night. Taste like chicken...

Dave in Chicago | 06.03.08 - 10:35 p.m. | #

Cyclists!

Venichka | 06.03.08 - 11:18 p.m. | #

This piece on the perpetually offended reminded me of a phrase coined by Vice-Presidential speechwriter William Saffire in the 1960's to describe the White House Press Corps, but which has much broader uses. He called them "the nattering nabobs of negativity".

Oliver | 06.03.08 - 11:29 p.m. | #

Yes more kittens, who can possibly be offended by them? And they also have some sort of electrical mechanism which means they do not leave tiny poops on the pavement ... loved that comment!

Debster | 07.03.08 - 8:02 a.m. | #

hear hear. i just get a sad that people could be a bit happier and more chilled but you can't really help them. kids are killing each other over nowt. it's sad. god i sound like a hippy.

HF | 07.03.08 - 12:49 p.m. | #

To Londoneer, I believe the reply to those giving you grief for holding the door open for them is,

"I'm not holding the door for you because you're a woman. I'm doing it because I'm a gentleman!"

Honestly, the way some people react to being treated with what used to be common courtesy makes me wonder whether they ever had any demonstrated to them in their formative years.

Bronchitikat | Homepage | 07.03.08 - 1:34 p.m. | #

There's a short, sure fire way to a happier life.

Stop watching TV news!!

Another Andrew | 07.03.08 - 5:57 p.m. | #











TridentScan v2.10.0 | Privacy Policy