please empty your brain below

Never watch, play or have any interest in football (soccer).

I do listen however listen to cricket commentaries on Test Match Special when they are on.
@John: Me neither.

I was born in that bit of "the North" where "soccer" is played by "namby pamby Southerner".

Having been brought up stuck between "posh" Rugby Union and "gritty" League, I find that DG's post today full of words, but empty of any meaning whatsoever.
Mitchell and Webb ... "All the football, all the time.."
Hearing someone talk about football, and sport in general, is like listening to Charlie Brown's teacher.
Well I'm going to break the mould hereabouts; I love football. And this genuinely has been the most exciting and open Premier League title race for years. So there!
I'm exhausted after reading that, only three full stops and two of them came in time added on.
Fortunately, this is your blog and you can write what you like. I don't feel obligated to read it. Didn't today but understand the nature of the topic you wrote on. I'll come back another day.
yes, it's dg's choice. many of his interests are similar to mine, which is why I read what he writes. this is the first time for more than a year that I've not read a post all the way through, but I'll be back tomorrow, as I'm sure most of us will be.
a PR company for the Premiere League emailed asking him to promote the game, and he relented for once and did it.
@ B

Me 3.
I think today's post might be slightly ironic - the Premiership is self-serving oligopoly which thinks the world revolves round it. The post reads like a list of all the breathless bull***t spouted by Sky Sports News to sell its 'product'.

Thanks DG - that was cathartic!

Real football does exist outside the Premiership - from the Championship through to non-league. Try supporting your local team it's much more fun/emotional draining/frustrating (delete as appropriate)
@ B me too!
Rather than risk indigestion reading that paragraph, I got it read to me in an inappropriate American accent: Although "he" can only read 1000 character chunks, which breaks the flow.
I read the first sentence...then scrolled down to the last sentence. Snipped the chunk in the middle.
No links and no pics but think it was something about football...
That's pretty much EXACTLY how sports commentators talk. Complete and utter verbal diarrhea and bollox!!
Once again DG has nailed it!
I just wish Sunderland didn't get relegated, although they are most likely since they are still bottom.
A post that few people are interested in reading has generated more comments than some other posts that people have been interested in reading! Amazing.
Nice one DG. You still a Gooner?
That just about sums it up alright. All in one sentence. lol
As long as the Gunners win the FA Cup, I'll be happy.

...I was born in that bit of "the South" where (insert "interest/s") considered the enjoyment of ("term deleted") Northerner.

nuff said.
There's always Radio 3.....
@ B

me also!
I think the whole point was that it was boring and unreadable. I took it in that spirit and got no further than line three! I do feel a bit bad after dg put so much effort into making it authentically impenetrable.
Sheesh, no sense of irony, some people.
I find it funny that most of the people who would agree with this post (that what may sound exciting to football fans is tedious to others) appear to have gotten three lines in and given up, missing the point of it somewhat.
That was one of a few DG posts that I didn't / don't read because it was outside the sphere of my cultural understanding. I kind of get it, one level, but the detail is beyond me. Shrug. I'll be baaaaaaaaack.
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in.
??? wtf? why are there even comments on here with people have to explain that it's an ironic post? how stupid are some of you all???
I congratulate DG on precisely emulating (in print) the galloping style of football pundits on the TV!!
I've emailed this, read it out in public places and just simply find it funny.

For someone with apparently no interest in the game (like me), I suspect DG spent as long crafting this piece of prose as mamy of his more erudite articles.

To all of you who posted that you've no interest in football, thanks your comments are utterly necessary on any article about the game. In fact I think I'll start doing the same for anything that I've no interest in, after all the world really needs to know of my likes and dislikes, thanks again, you've done us all a great service.

ps, it's Liverpool's title, we're concentrating on the big boy's cup.
Chelsea's won at Liverpool,,throws it open even more! Meanwhile Morecombe avoided relegation to the conference by beating my team 3-0 away!
This can't have been a serious piece because it didn't mention any games of two halves nor were any sick parrots referred to for comparison purposes. But neither was it as tedious as it could have been because Stoke City wasn't featured at all!

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