please empty your brain below

This is genuine 1994 material, honest.

It is brilliant and timely reminder only 13 QVC days left to Christmas.
Thanks DG!

Some of that is scarily close to the truth.

Agreed. But:

"Blue Peter lights 1st fibre optic cable on Advent coathanger"

?? is it the abstractness of their advent thingies that's being parodied here, or maybe I missed something as a kid?

Not at all bad as predictions go. Thanks for sharing.

Remarkably good. I would recognise 15 of these as being accurate enough for practical purposes. Much better than old Nostradamus.

Well done on the new Time Out article, DG. Now you just have to move to being Time Out's restaurant critic and you've landed the best job in the world.

Frighteningly prescient.

Dare I ask what the difference is between the predictions in italicised and normal font is? Can't see a pattern and it's bugging me out of all proportion...

Yup, I'm with Wayne.

Ohh and, what's a CD-ROM?

The italics were just to 'group' certain events together.

"Archbishop of Canterbury gives her New Year message"

Oh if only. Maybe by 2018 we'll have one female Bishop in a small, insignificant position somewhere and there will still be complaints. :-(

You're just a few Orwellian-stylee years out on the ones that aren't true yet.

Death is 93.3\\% fatal these days as we have a 6.7\\% survival rate for cardiac arrest.

(But only because we consider only those cardiac arrests where you can do something as opposed to all those people who just die.)

Surely we will all die at some point? (Here's hoping before Christmas shopping starts in 2067)

Christmas 2018 will bring trips to the moon to go shopping in the new permanent base, sponsored by VirginSpace

How could you have so underestimated the cost of a Man U strip?

Still waiting on that difficult third album from The Stone Roses...











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