please empty your brain below
This has to be the most annoying feature of Windows by a long way.

Mind you, I just hate computers telling me what to do. Sometimes some machine at work tells me what to do, and I have to remind it that I am in charge. For example a coffee machine told me that it's grounds container was full the other day. So I had a look, and it wasn't. But it was insistent that it was, or I couldn't make any coffee. However, when it runs out of milk and spits out the constituents of a latte without the milk, it doesn't bother to advise me in advance.

It seems to me that machines have their priorities wrong. I wonder which one of them will tell me off today?

Kirk | 12.10.06 - 8:18 a.m. | #

Two things DG about your noble rant

1. Control: 'There is no such thing as control you infantile egomaniac' - Nicole Kidman to Tom Cruise, Days of Thunder

2. Self Control: A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.-Oscar Wilde

So you, Nicole and Oscar on a wavelength then.

strandman | 12.10.06 - 9:35 a.m. | #

I use windows 98, and when this box comes up you can just ignore it until a convenient time. Or remove it. That is why I dont like xp. Its like something out of the Twilight Zone.

Debster | 12.10.06 - 10:30 a.m. | #

I understand *why* the thing needs to restart - primarily because, as you say, it's been written in a way that comes filed under "utter shite".

But I don't understand why "restart later" means "bug me again in ten minutes".

What that option needs is another button that says "Fuck off, I know it needs a restart, and I will do it when I'm good and fucking ready. Now piss off", which then leaves you alone for at least 24 hours. If you haven't restarted in that time (hey, you're on Windows, it's gonna happen) then it can nag again.

Lyle | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 10:30 a.m. | #

Lyle, upgrade to 98 ...

Debster | 12.10.06 - 10:31 a.m. | #

This is a very important question.

However, one which is much more important is "Would you like to throw your computer out the window now?"

And the answer, of course, is yes.

gimmerugga | 12.10.06 - 10:31 a.m. | #

oooh! Can I say "Buy a Mac" or "run Linux" before some other tedious arse does.

ian | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 10:38 a.m. | #

Ah the joy of automatic updates. You can stop it doing that you know...

Control Panel -> System -> Automatic Updates tab

There you can choose what it does when there are updates available, including stopping it automatically installing the blasted things.

Can't remember exactly what the options are, don't have a Windows box to hand since I got fed up with all the annoyances and moved to a Mac.

Sarah | 12.10.06 - 10:41 a.m. | #

Er, you still need a reboot under MacOS or Linux for most of the more severe security patches. Anything that affects the kernel can't be done live. Sadly, the first worms and trojans are creeping out of the woodwork for MacOS as it gets a bit more popular and its users remain convinced they're immune to such things.

I'll bet all those people are also the first to complain when their systems get hosed by the worm-du-jour, too. I absolutely loved the guy who went through 20 different menus to change the amount of time before an auto-reboot (which is weird - my system doesn't do that) when you can just set the whole procedure to be done manually in *one* menu. I mean, it's the second option you see under the "Automatic Updates" listing - "Download patches for me, but let me choose when to install them."

Good god, there's a few dozen things I can find to bitch about in Windows but this just ain't one of them. The real newbs *need* to be forced into it so their machines don't become spam zombies, and it's *trivial* for anyone with some experience to turn off.

Chz | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 11:03 a.m. | #

Alright, I need to cut back on the coffee maybe.

Chz | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 11:10 a.m. | #

Oh I thought you were just impersonating our very inept company IT department?

And yes blogging makes rebooting even that much more cumbersome. Especially when blogger is playing its usual tricks of betrayal.

City Slicker | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 12:20 p.m. | #

I go a step further than Chz - I let it tell me when patches are available but that's all. I decide when to download and install them - and I also decide what I want installed, which doesn't include their anti-spy thingy...

I get whines from office colleagues about this, but letting them turn off anything automatic usually means it'll never get done, unless I spend time when they aren't here going round to each machine.

GoodTwin | 12.10.06 - 1:01 p.m. | #

Hmm. I don't get these messages at all, even though I'm on XP. As people have said above, you must be able to turn them off. (I didn't set up my own home PC, and I am technically inept, so I can't tell you what was chosen to stop this happening.)

Chig | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 4:31 p.m. | #

Funny post. I can relate.

dc gal | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 5:35 p.m. | #

I blame the giant paperclip - it has all his patronizing control-freak trademarks.

Murphy | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 6:18 p.m. | #

Understanding that it was a joke, but as a practical solution to an admittedly highly annoying windows feature....

If you don't answer the question, it won't keep asking you. When the query window comes up, simply navigate back to whatever you were doing, leaving the query window open (and unanswered) in the background. The window will politely (and silently) await your response and will no longer annoy you by popping up every 10 minutes.

Noel | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 6:19 p.m. | #

Damn that was funny. I have the same thing but mine does give me the benefit of answering first. What have we done letting these things have so much control?

Gel | 12.10.06 - 10:41 p.m. | #

Think yourself lucky. They've given me a keyboard at work with a small button on the top-right hand corner that will automatically close down the PC if pressed. Brushing it as I pick up/put down my coffee is incredibly annoying.

Mark | Homepage | 12.10.06 - 10:45 p.m. | #

Noel wrote:-"If you don't answer the question, it won't keep asking you."

Wish that worked on people....

Amused | 12.10.06 - 10:48 p.m. | #

Dead simple to overcome - when the first box comes up - don't click remind me later, just move it almost off screen to the right. It won't bug you again until you bring it back and either let it restart or close down yourself.

poons | 13.10.06 - 1:42 a.m. | #

damn, should have read Noels post first.

poons | 13.10.06 - 1:44 a.m. | #

Poons and Noel, I do that, but it's always there in the corner, and affects my sense of aesthetics. Sometimes though, my PC is so slow that it helps to restart when prompted. Simply save everything, go for a pee or a coffee, then pick up again, with a vague sense that all is well in the world.

Wayne | 13.10.06 - 10:02 a.m. | #

I was going to say Buy a Mac - but someone has, and yes - you do still need a reboot for a kernel update. At least that is generally the only time...

I do now run anti-virus on my Mac though, but it was a sad sad day that I felt I had to install it.

It's just me | Homepage | 13.10.06 - 10:54 a.m. | #

This happened to Yaxlich yesterday. He's glad he's not the only one. He thought Bill Gates was picking on him because he was critical of Microsoft in one of his posts.

Yaxlich | Homepage | 13.10.06 - 4:09 p.m. | #

It is the second most irritating thing about computing. It is especially timed to come on on a work morning, post-shower and tea-brewing, and if I take my eye off the ball it shuts my machine down, which then takes like half an hour to restart, whereas if I just had the option to say "Look you fucker I'm off to work in 45, I'm gonna shut down then, anyway, I'll be back this evening, you're not my mother" I'll be alright. Like firefox says "We'll like you know reinstall next time you yeah man shut down Firefox, yeah, cool..."

Gert | Homepage | 16.10.06 - 9:46 p.m. | #











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