please empty your brain below
Tried using a National Rail ticket office, then? At least the Tube has someone there to tell you to fuck off.

Inspector Sands | Homepage | 05.02.06 - 7:29 a.m. | #

very funny and so true

Emma | 05.02.06 - 8:24 a.m. | #

Are you familiar with the London Underground Song, DG? [Very much NSFW, by the way]

Em³ | Homepage | 05.02.06 - 9:07 a.m. | #

you forgot the role-play where the shop steward butts in to throw in his unsolicited opinions about staff shortages, passenger saftey blah blah blah....

steve | 05.02.06 - 10:15 a.m. | #

... oh and can we have a squillion percent pay rise while we're at it...

steve | 05.02.06 - 10:18 a.m. | #

I've noticed that even the most remotest of tube stations have one of those smart ticket machines that can dispense almost every type of ticket you need. Even if the ticket office is closed. All stations except Ealing Broadway - where the staff are not LU and they seem to enjoy making you queue up for tickets.

Jag | Homepage | 05.02.06 - 2:00 p.m. | #

Hell, why buy a ticket at all?

The ticket office at one of my local stations is closed today, and the ticket barriers are wide open, and there's no friendly welcoming reassuring member of staff visible anywhere.

diamond geezer | Homepage | 05.02.06 - 2:08 p.m. | #

I would never call a member of LU Staff "Bastardo inútil" for such a minor offence. "Gilipollas" would do quite nicely.

I congratulate you, DG, on your excellent Spanish (very accurate spelling with stress marks and all the rest of it) but remember "boleto" is for lottery tickets. Bus, train or tube tickets are "billetes". Keep this in mind as I wouldn't like it if next time you came to Spain you bought a lottery ticket by mistake instead of a bus ticket, then became a millionaire and gave up blogging.

Kind regards
Pepe
Madrid, Spain

dg escribe: excuse por favor mi ignorancia de la terminología española de la lotería

Pepe | 05.02.06 - 2:14 p.m. | #

Ace post, but I think this is a case of Tube passengers actively finding whinges out of not a lot. Try buying a travelcard extension from Victoria mainline in the rush hour, and then come back and complain because you can't be bothered to use a ticket machine.

Inspector Sands | Homepage | 05.02.06 - 3:59 p.m. | #

(btw, when I used it regularly in ye olden days, Bromley-by-Bow was always deserted!)

Inspector Sands | Homepage | 05.02.06 - 4:00 p.m. | #

Amusing post but I have to agree with Insp. Sands that it is really a lot of fuss over nothing much. After all only five stations have lost their only ticket office and they are really quiet out-of-town ones. I cannot imagine that non-English-speaking Spaniards are going to be a major problem at the station in the Essex hamlet of Theydon Bois. And why do you presume the booking office clerk is more likely to cope with Spanish than the other station staff ?

As for not being able to buy an Oystercard, this should be a once in a lifetime purchase and I suspect this may well be possible at the nearby corner shop. I think we need to get away from this expense luxury of expecting a dedicated travel-ticket seller at all stations regardless of how busy they were. After all you surely wouldn't expect a bus to have a person on-board whose main purpose was to sell tickets. On, no. Forget that last sentence.

Pedantic of Purley | 05.02.06 - 4:57 p.m. | #

Jag's posting above leaves out one important thing... those days when all the machines say 'Closed'.

As I found out at Canning Town station one morning, when the ticket office is closed and machines are up the creek, so are you.

Oh and did I mention the 'helpful' station staff - including the supervisor - who laughed at the fact that I had no change and no credit on my Oyster card? B**tards!

gimmerugga | 05.02.06 - 9:56 p.m. | #

oh Diamond Geezer ... it's uninterestedly filling in the Sudoku, surely?

Disgruntled | Homepage | 05.02.06 - 10:10 p.m. | #

Don't forget that the staff who are now set free from the ticket office can open the ticket gate for you, if you have a valid ticket, but it isn't working.

They can also slam it suddenly shut when you're half way through, giving you great coloured bruises on your hips and arms for weeks, as I discovered on my last visit to Farringdon Tube.

verity74 | 06.02.06 - 8:36 a.m. | #

Tube staff: And next time, save all that effort and walk brazenly through the luggage gate like everybody else.

Indeed. Or do(n't do) what the guy in Canada Water station did last night; a damn good kick, smashing the glass gate into tiny bits all over the floor, and making a bolt for it. After that, the staff just stood and looked like an alien craft had just landed in the ticket hall.

Nico | Homepage | 06.02.06 - 7:14 p.m. | #











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