please empty your brain below
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It would all be hilarious, if it wasn't just so damned tragic.
Thanks for reminding me about crispbread, the favourite cardboard confection of 1970s dieters.
Frank F | 10.09.20 - 7:11 a.m. | #
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Just have your large social gathering at bus stop M, encouraged by only making alternate buses available to normal punters.
Or just carry on working from home.
Still Anon | 10.09.20 - 7:25 a.m. | #
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Q: What happens if I become unwell while on holiday in England?
A: Apply for a test online using your home address, and you'll have a chance of being directed to a testing centre somewhere close by.
NickW | 10.09.20 - 7:49 a.m. | #
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Love the random number generating. Also enjoyed a very unexpected mention for the oft-flooded Boat Club back home.
Kevin | 10.09.20 - 7:49 a.m. | #
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At the risk of being a boring literalist pedant, I think that the government rules should be "mix with five", "not mix with six".
Half a physicist | 10.09.20 - 7:55 a.m. | #
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COVID19 is not a laughing matter, but you don't care about that do you?
Why don't you stand for election, you have the time but only use it to seek to belittle everything the government does, so put yourself in the firing line for once!
Surbitonian | 10.09.20 - 8:14 a.m. | #
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It’s perfectly okay to belittle a government when it does things in an incompetent manner.
It is not DG’s fault that this government does so many things so badly.
And we’ve never made criticism of power contingent on standing for election.
Gjort Stoupers | 10.09.20 - 8:28 a.m. | #
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I don't think this belittles COVID-19 in anyway. It does belittle the inept bunch of buffoons, dangerous zealots and broadly incompetents that are making matters worse by their mixed messaging and covert 'our wealth first' approach.
Tom H | 10.09.20 - 8:43 a.m. | #
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The comment above about the random number generator made me refresh the page, several times. Excellent creativity.
Stuart R | 10.09.20 - 9:34 a.m. | #
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VG, DG. ROFL, as we used to say.
HANDS - KNEES - BUMPSADAISY
HTFB | 10.09.20 - 9:37 a.m. | #
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A bit harsh to decide to have a swing at the government when, at long last, it has decided to try to make the rules clearer:"no more than 6 in unregulated activities", could hardly be clearer could it?
J. | 10.09.20 - 9:43 a.m. | #
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And don’t forget to book an appointment at A&E for that accident you didn’t know was going to happen.
Unless there’s a miracle vaccine very soon or a long draconian Lockdown, most people will be exposed to the virus eventually. They’re now delaying the exposure to the winter when people have low levels of vit D and the NHS struggles. Not good.
Tony | 10.09.20 - 10:03 a.m. | #
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The 6 people thing still has capacity to confuse. Just yesterday I was chatting to some feller (2m away naturally) who had assumed that all pubs, restaurants and gyms would be closing on Monday as they couldn't have more than 6 ppl in them...
AkerMan | 10.09.20 - 10:17 a.m. | #
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Excellent post DG, I hope Boris reads this and takes note! 😷
Kevin Too | 10.09.20 - 10:23 a.m. | #
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Like the best parodies, it is hardly exaggerated at all. Let's hope it doesn't turn into understatement within a very short time....!
Cau1khead | 10.09.20 - 10:36 a.m. | #
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Top quality satire, thank you.
Frank F's first sentence review sadly sums it up.
Surbitonian - DG's ballot box is the open comments box which he subjects himself to daily.
O | 10.09.20 - 10:48 a.m. | #
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"No more than 6" is clear but there are then 13 bullet points of exceptions to that rule (some of which are actually multiple exemptions).
Steve Rochford | 10.09.20 - 10:53 a.m. | #
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Well, I think it's brilliant!
John Simmons | 10.09.20 - 10:58 a.m. | #
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IMO the single factor which doomed the UK's response to the Covid-19 pandemic was having Bojo as PM.
The man has proved many times that nearly everything he touches turns to crap.
Michael | 10.09.20 - 11:57 a.m. | #
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Excellent. I
They say laughter is the best medicine, and this has really given my immune system a boost!
Cornish Cockney | 10.09.20 - 1:03 p.m. | #
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Sadly "What happens if I become unwell while on holiday in England?" is not a joke, and a potential complete and utter PITA if, like us, you happen to run a B&B. The contagious person is stuck with you until the test results come in, and any subsequent guests are just out of luck, their room has gone. And you have a pretty problem of keeping yourself and other guests safe, as well as quarantining the room for 72 hrs afterwards.
Putters | 10.09.20 - 4:03 p.m. | #
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For someone that just a few weeks ago said 'you will see less flashy HTML than you are use to' (or words to that effect) I've just witnessed my first Marquee in about a decade! :D
R | 10.09.20 - 5:21 p.m. | #
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I'll let you know when Blogger finally imposes its new interface. They keep postponing, thankfully. They won't postpone forever.
diamond geezer | Homepage | 10.09.20 - 5:56 p.m. | #
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At some point we'll all be "oven ready".
Marmaduke Jinks | 10.09.20 - 11:29 p.m. | #
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What could be clearer?
Simple really. No more than 6 (that is, you and five other people) except for a long list of situations where more than six people might meet. Broadly, as long as you are not meeting friends or family who live somewhere else, you should be ok. Until Monday that is all fine though.
Andrew | 11.09.20 - 8:08 a.m. | #
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A tool on the windy.com weather site shows the progress of Covid-19 daily from 22 January - total World deaths 16 in Hubei province China. Currently the world deaths total is 914,506.
It's interesting to compare countries and see how they've fared. Click on the menu (top left) then Install Windy plugins, then open Covid-19. Click on any country to get the data as a summary flag where you click on the map and a more detailed breakdown on the left pane.
The UK has possibly the highest percentage of deaths per million (665.2, total population 62.5 million). Other countries have a much lower percentage. E.g. Thailand has a population of almost 66 million with only 58 deaths so fat (0.9 deaths per million).
To clear the plugin display, just refresh the browser window.
Rogmi | 11.09.20 - 2:01 p.m. | #
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Thank you: the introductory sentence really made me laugh. Then the rest of the post was really good as well.
g.chingford | 11.09.20 - 6:47 p.m. | #
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