please empty your brain below
As an added bonus I've got one of these"buffet" lunches in honour of my leaving on Friday.... they didn't give me the option of taking the money down the pub instead ;(
However, we had a word and on the Thursday we had a selection of warm finger food (honey roasted cocktail sausages, anyone?), followed by a curry on the Friday, which was as good as we could have got from the curry house over the road. Excellent.
Except what you just described sounded really luxurious! Ten different fillings? I was in a long meeting yesterday - and there were only about 3 different fillings. Sausage rolls? Yoghurts? Wow.
Actually you forgot to mention also how the sandwiches always seem to "curl" up after 60 seconds of exposure. And also how unlucky you are (which happens to me very often) when the chairperson of the meeting decides that we shouldn't take a proper break - and instead people should just help themselves whilst your still in the middle of YOUR presentation. So - that by the time you've finished: not only are there only the curled up ones left - and the mayo in the prawn ones has probably developed listeria - but all the crisps are gone too - and there's probably no clean plates left anyway - and because it was a "working lunch" (I hate that term) you have't got the opportunity of just popping out to get some decent ones from the shops - AND you have to spend the rest of the meeting not only ravenously hungry and prepared to eat anything but you won't or can't - you're surrounded by plates of rotting sandwiches that nobody wants that are really beginning to smell - because the catering people took a peek through the door and noticed that you were having a "working lunch" so didn't want to disturb us until after we finish the whole meeting a few hours later in the afternoon.
I hate them as well.
"regional sweetbreads hermetically sealed inside impenetrable plastic wrappers"
Sweetbreads? Aren't they offal? Or is that sweetmeats? Did you mean shortbread?
Maybe you did mean offal, it sounds like the lunches are that bad...
Oh, my lunch was indeed better. Two pints of Guinness and a plate of bacon, egg and chips.
A missionary's visiting Africa and happens upon a tribe of cannibals. Instead of eating him, they invite him to dinner, whereupon the chief explains they've just conquered a neighbouring tribe and are celebrating their victory by feasting on them. The missionary is so touched by the local hospitality that he puts aside his misconceptions about cannibalism, and indeed finds he's rather enjoying himself at the repast.
"So are you having a good time then?" the chief asks between mouthfuls.
"Yes, thanks," says the missionary. "I'm having a ball!"
"Ooh, no, you don't want to be eating that! Put it on the side of your plate for the dog!"
One day it got worse and we spotted a maggot crawling through the lovingly arranged pineapple. The fruit was never eaten again without thorough inspection.
And why is the cheese always grated so it falls out of the (always white) bread and sticks to your clothes? Well, OK, I know why - it makes the sandwich look fatter with more air.
To be fair, I had one nice one recently with a variety of veggie foods including a vegan rice option.
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