please empty your brain below

Any more?


A special case:

If your lift is glass-walled and open for all to see, it will get stuck between floors for half an hour allowing all the emplyees on two different floors of the building to have a right good laugh at you.

Yeah, I got a few problems with lifts.

1) That voice you get in the lift, telling you that the doors are opening, and also alerting you to the fact that you're arriving at some floor.

2) If you work as crew on a cruise liner...there are no bloody lifts in the Crew area that get you to where you want to go. Not funny if you're carrying a tray of food, or a large case.

3) If you work as crew on a cruise liner you find that only one set of lifts actually goes to the bottom deck, where your cabin is. That set of lifts is usually at the aft end, half a bloody mile from where your cabin is.

Remember that you may be alone in the lift having a good pick or scratch but you are probably on the CCTV security system. The lads and lassies in the control room will be watching and having a good laugh.

Our lift at work is probably the slowest in the world and the only acceptable conversation I've had with people who work in other offices to mine is:

Me: "This is the slowest lift in the world"

Other person: "Yes it is"

Me: "But at least no one got stuck in it recently"

Other person: "No and it's been very well behaved"

Me: "Two people from our office have been stuck in it"

Other person: "Really"

Me: "See ya then"

I can't remember how many times I've had that conversation, possibly sometimes with the same person.

my mum always thanks the voice in the lift. how about the mirrors in lifts? they always make you look ten times worse than you already do.

Bushra - so true. On the "formal nights" [ick], I actually looked tired. Yes, okay, I hadn't ever been to bed the night before, but never looked tired or worse for wear in any other mirror, just the ones in the lift.

Is it a conspiracy?

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