please empty your brain below
Ow wow... technology in the Century of the Fruitbat, eh? I wrote my first tweet today (I don't Twitter, or Fakebook, this was for someone else to Tweet about something I did). Maybe I'll turn into a complete digi-nut and partake in this too !! (on the other hand, maybe not).

Antipodean | 19.02.14 - 7:08 a.m. | #

Love it! I was walking back to the office with my lunch on Monday, when someone staring intently at their phone suddenly veered right into my path. Perhaps they were beta-testing the next release of Proximatech?

Dave | 19.02.14 - 7:33 a.m. | #

DG, I'm sure it's not the 1st April yet.

Bernie | 19.02.14 - 8:28 a.m. | #

I heard of Candy Crush for the first time this morning on the Today programme's business slot. I somehow assumed it would be spelt with Ks.

Sarah | Homepage | 19.02.14 - 8:31 a.m. | #

What we really need is some sort of head-up display. Has anyone tried the Google Glass?

Andrew | 19.02.14 - 8:36 a.m. | #

Great idea Andrew - it could then incorporate appropriate visual alerts!

Brock | 19.02.14 - 8:43 a.m. | #

The first thing that gave it away DG was the name - four syllables, involved the word 'tech' very 80s (?). These days you need something that's one or two syllables and probably an existing noun or verb that sounds cool. Or maybe it was an attempt to sound retro. Other than that - brilliant!

| 19.02.14 - 8:54 a.m. | #

I do fear a spate of minor accidents this morning as people reading this post on their phones get so intrigued that they walk into people, posts, cycles,etc.

popartist | 19.02.14 - 8:58 a.m. | #

As 'bumping into someone' will soon be classified as anti-social behaviour, and liable for a £60 fixed penalty fine, TfL welcomes the advent of Proximatech, which will enable millions of Londoners and visitors to safely traverse this great city of ours.

TfL Surface Transport Operations Centre | 19.02.14 - 9:18 a.m. | #

Brilliant, DG!

| 19.02.14 - 9:52 a.m. | #

What we really need is to ban all mobile phones in public places. There should be private cubicles where you can go to use your ridiculous overpriced piece of crap. I swear I will grab it and throw the phone out of the window the next time I here someone on the top deck of a bus shouting jibberish into one of those things. I hate them, and that comes from someone who worked for a communications company that pioneered the dam things.

Agent Z | 19.02.14 - 10:02 a.m. | #

So you're still on the technological solution to this age old problem? I moved on several years ago and guide dog Vance now ensures I automatically steer past pedestrians, neatly avoid scaffolding, and find the next pedestrian crossing, saving me from having to think at all, let alone disturb the flow of whatever I'm reading. Only, puddles seem to put Vance in the mind of a Grand National thoroughbred, gracefully leaping across his very own water jump, whilst dragging me straight through. Perhaps a firmware upgrade would would be in order.

Unlike Proximatech guide dogs are available only because of the public's generosity. So maybe you could save your subscription money, look where you're going, and drop a few pennies in a dog shaped collection box instead.

Rjnet | Homepage | 19.02.14 - 10:03 a.m. | #

You've been spying on my in-box, haven't you? It's Mobile World Congress in Barcelona and I'm getting hundreds of press releases and invitations to catch up. Including, at 10.22 this morning, this invite:

"It seems like everyone in the tech industry, from startups to giants like Apple and Google, are working to crack the indoor navigation puzzle. So far, all they have come up with are complicated, expensive solutions that provide relatively low accuracy. That’s why I wanted to introduce you to ... etc etc ... revolutionize the industry ... etc etc ... only device needed for this solution is the smartphone in the user’s hand ... etc etc ... blah blah."

Alan Burkitt-Gray | 19.02.14 - 10:41 a.m. | #

Great future potential for commercial sponsorship deals! [Turn left now into ].

Nails UK | 19.02.14 - 10:52 a.m. | #

Only 40 days left to iron out any bugs etc. and then the BIG re-launch

Mick | 19.02.14 - 11:28 a.m. | #

Programe on TV last night, "Dissection" cf the hand - a machine able to distinguish the feel of different objects. I predict the new whisker jacket, whisker suit, whisker dress, whisker babygrow. You'll wear the appropriate garment that has whiskers all over it. Your smartphone will link to it via Wi-Fi and will vibrate every time you get close to a solid object. No reading, no eyes, no brain cells required!

B | 19.02.14 - 11:38 a.m. | #

"crack the indoor navigation puzzle"?! Perhaps some sort of map?

Andrew | 19.02.14 - 11:57 a.m. | #

I don't go out of my way to avoid colliding with someone who is walking and surfing or reading. I'm 6'5", 17 stone and braced for the impact.....

Paul | 19.02.14 - 12:00 p.m. | #

The 7th poster has it right. This name is too 80's. Nowadays it's cool-two syllables names. Try Muvio or an endless permutation: Muvi-o, Moovion. Or even Bumpy. Suggestions anyone?

Caravelle | 19.02.14 - 12:30 p.m. | #

I think DG's onto something - with DG's new app working alongside some other technologies, is it not the time to reintroduce the Sinclair C5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EQetm_qWDg) to the streets of London? As well as Boris Bikes, we could incorporate to the C5 the technology ability of Googles driverless cars, Google Glasses and DG's App and have at a stroke for the less fit, the perfect way to travel around London! We already have the bike docking stations, we just need a few additional spaces provided alongside and to include a charging point and we could be away! Pricing could be like the tube with travel between zone 1, zone 2 etc. Is there someone entrepreneurial out there who could get this going 'cause I think it's a winner? Imagine being able to zip down the length of Oxford Street but window shopping at the same time without having to worry about the driving!

Happy Harry (in the UK) | 19.02.14 - 5:42 p.m. | #

Once, many years ago, while walking along Oxford Street I accidently bumped into a person who happened to be strolling in the opposite direction. I apologized for my minor breach of the walking in crowd’s etiguette. My apology was accepted with a nod and we both continued, unaffected, on our seperate ways. I felt pleased with myself that I had utilized the only technology available to me at that time - my voice

| 19.02.14 - 7:06 p.m. | #

Excellent. As a non-smart phone owner, I quite enjoy playing "chicken" with pedestrians glued to their screens, so this looks like adding a whole new challenging dimension!

CornishCockney | 19.02.14 - 10:45 p.m. | #

Can it detect railway lines? There was an incident at a station I've worked at. A suited and booted commuter entered and walked towards the platform, staring at smartphone, mouth hanging open. He kept walking, straight over the platform edge and into the tracks. Whilst these kind of aides can assist, I do sometimes wonder if smartphones are making people stupid.

The Urbanite | 20.02.14 - 12:59 a.m. | #

Excellent! DG.
A superb send up of the current scene.
Last week I encountered a young lady intent on her phone who stopped dead in order to reply to a text. IN THE EXIT DOORWAY, LEADING TO THE TUBE, AT St PANCRAS. IN THE RUSH HOUR.
Jeesh!

Allan | 20.02.14 - 11:40 a.m. | #

Google just announced a prototype of it today.

Audrey | 21.02.14 - 9:49 a.m. | #

It seems DG has an insider in Google HQ http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-26284210

Bpbill | 21.02.14 - 11:26 a.m. | #

Did the fact that you spoofed this a day before Google announced it affect your percentage of royalties at all?

Michael W | 24.02.14 - 8:49 p.m. | #











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