please empty your brain below
Think I will just watch the conflagration from Hertfordshire, thanks.

But how do I identify the closest point on the perimeter, if I unwisely venture into London?

Andrew | 27.01.14 - 7:36 a.m. | #

In an emergency, you might want to walk along any railway or motorway. Or go to the nearest pub for that matter :)

PSG | 27.01.14 - 7:56 a.m. | #

Keep going in roughly the same direction and you're half way to the Secret Bunker at Kelvedon Hatch. Which would be a good place to hole up until Gordon Freeman can close the dimensional rift unleashed in the Black Mesa Research facility in the pyramid on top of Canary Wharf.

Julian Bond | Homepage | 27.01.14 - 8:07 a.m. | #

Loved the allusion to zombies in Stratford, having seen people in zombie chasing games during the Summer there.

As a cyclist, I have to ask if the escape would be speeded by the use of two wheels?

Half a physicist | 27.01.14 - 8:14 a.m. | #

Deuces closed after being firebombed a couple of years ago but you can retrospectively enjoy its demise anyway.

Beth | 27.01.14 - 8:45 a.m. | #

Just had an emergency evacuation myself.

PL | 27.01.14 - 8:54 a.m. | #

"created by computer according to three simple rules".
1. Identify the closest point on the Greater London perimeter.
.............
3. Plot a course following the most direct walking route."

I hope a real computer algorithm would be a bit more sophisticated: otherwise you're in for a long walk if you're in Thamesmead or Erith (walk to Rainham Marshes via the Woolwich Tunnel). Some parts of Hampton would get silly answers too.

| 27.01.14 - 9:45 a.m. | #

With all those extra people turning up outside their door I hope the Three Jolly Wheelers (whoever they might be) have the foresight to stock up with extra beer and crisps. If not there really is going to be an emergency.

| 27.01.14 - 9:59 a.m. | #

Hahahahahaha! Brilliant! Love these kinds of posts!

CornishCockney | 27.01.14 - 12:04 p.m. | #

London's boundaries have moved considerably over time... for example I now live inside the coal duty boundary, but outside the GLA boundary, but still in the TfL zoned fares boundary with a matching TfL bus and train service, but outside the boundary of any county of London, but inside the M25...

Audrey | 27.01.14 - 12:11 p.m. | #

020 phone numbers is another possible definition. Excludes Uxbridge Orpington Erith and Havering but includes Thames Ditton, Ewell, Elstree and Chigwell
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/82/020_UK_dial_code_area_-_2007.png

| 27.01.14 - 12:31 p.m. | #

Our little village is part of the emergency evacuation from London plan (it's got a better title than that, but I've forgotten what it is).

As I am now the only one amongst the Nice Ladies who will be looking after you who has a current Food Safety Certificate (which the plan says is *essential* for anyone handling food, which has always amused me), you'll have to hope that I'm feeling OK on the day you all drop by.

If you identify yourself as a reader of DG I'll make sure you get one of the better camp beds. If you call me BW in public, I'll make sure that you sleep on the floor ;)

Blue Witch | Homepage | 27.01.14 - 12:59 p.m. | #

I seem to recall reading that in the Victorian era the first part of this route (as far as Wanstead flats) was a popular Sunday walk for the families of east London. It's still not a bad stroll (apart from the half-crazed denizens of Hell trying to eat your brains).

Alex | 27.01.14 - 2:18 p.m. | #

Are you absolutely sure that the Metropolitan Police have a dog training centre in Essex? If so it has managed to keep an extreme low profile.

Pedantic of Purley | 27.01.14 - 2:58 p.m. | #

The Met Police's dog training centre is just this side of the Essex border, in Woodford Bridge. It's a lovely old building.

diamond geezer | Homepage | 27.01.14 - 4:31 p.m. | #

I never realised how safe I was when I used to drink at the Wheelers.

rashbre | Homepage | 27.01.14 - 9:32 p.m. | #

You forgot to list rabid building developers throwing up ill designed bijou dwellings in the way.

RBRJ | 28.01.14 - 6:56 a.m. | #

there is also a Guide Dog Training Cantre in Woodford Bridge, I've been to one of their Open Days, don't know if the dogs from the two training centres socialise.

amber | 28.01.14 - 10:27 a.m. | #

I thought those training centres were more Barking-By-Bow.

Audrey | 28.01.14 - 10:37 a.m. | #

Alternatively, in the words of the old saying:

1. Find a comfortable place to sit
2. Place head between legs as far as possible
and
3. Kiss your arse goodbye.

Autolycus | Homepage | 31.01.14 - 4:12 p.m. | #

Beware: Google Maps introduces an entirely spurious detour of the GLA boundary up the Thames as far as Crossness. That would allow a very direct approach of three miles along the Ridgeway above the Bazalgette sewer from Plumstead. Having walked it on Friday in the rain I can't really recommend the experience except to the connoisseur.

But Google is wrong, and my nearest bit of boundary is in Joydens Wood.

HTFB | 03.02.14 - 1:26 p.m. | #











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