please empty your brain below

The word 'lying' springs to mind - more like 'they can't be bothered to look for it, plus it's a bank holiday weekend'.
I'm enjoying this shaggy dog story.
What's happened to DG's Twitter feed-does that need a key as well?
Methinks that there is more to this than a lost internet connection, a cupboard and a lost key........
You should get hold of one of these new smart phones. I hear there's even a model which connects to the Internet when you are underground.
The key should be held by whoever is managing the building.
I do hope you're alright DG.
The Bank Holiday is here. Nothing's going to happen now until Tuesday at the earliest!
I have two words for you - Hammer. Chisel. We didn't build an empire waiting for a man with a key.

Then again I suppose we didn't worry about criminal damage either.
It's Cupboard M
.... Wonder if they will find a body when they do open the cupboard ....
Have you tried inviting Uri Gellar round? He might be able to open it by massaging the handle.
My internet connection has also been inactive for the past few days so just catching up now.

I'm pleased that DG says his "internet connection" has failed. Too many people nowadays just say "the Internet is not working" which if true, means the world would have descended into an even more chaotic state than it is currently.
Any guesses as to where DG has gone for the long weekend?
He's probably on the 'MS Harmony of the Seas'
Seems odd to be making chatter just to fill the time.
Did anyone see those helicopters flying over London the other day (the tilt rotor ones)? Seems it was about showing a security presence in the approach to the Trooping of the Colour.
I knew they were around - I'd already seen them once in the morning - but it still came as one heck of a surprise when they came back and flew past The Shard.
I'll ever be thankful to DG for his tip about year-long View from the Shard passes for £20 ... I chose that day to use mine and, thanks to that, I was actually up there when they came by again!
"nobody's ever asked for the key before"...including DG. "if there is one" ...well at some point there must of been one, useless locks are now being made without keys. "off-site contractor"...or whoever is the freeholder of the block; and they probably got better things to do than be concerned about a cupboard. Option 1: wait. Option 2: keep waiting Option 3: summon a locksmith (costly) Option 4: take direct action and do something...pick/drill the lock or otherwise force the cupboard door. Option 5: return to Option 1. hope further updates of this thrilling saga are forthcoming.
May we have a photograph of the contents of this mysterious cupboard please when it is finally opened?
Had such kind of things happened in February, would the Mysterious Count have gone up?
and of course a photo of the elusive key when/if it appears.
The mysterious flying machines are CV-22B Bell Ospreys. The Daily Mail says they belong to the SAS.
I say they belong to the USAF and are based in Mildenhall. One has the call sign 'Knife 71' and serial 11-0058.
You can believe the Mail or me.
Perhaps they are going to shoot the lock off.....
4G?
I hope that DG has much more luck than this lady !
Chris, I did actually get a couple of photos, one of which is just about clear enough to show a 'star and bars' marking.
Mail or you? You :)
https://www.flickr.com/photos/32293736@N04/27172021272/in/dateposted-public/
Have a word with The Slog

https://hat4uk.wordpress.com/

He's used to this sort of thing in France.
Re the Ospreys, I think they are based in Mildenhall, Chris, but must be taking some time out in Northolt as I've had them fly over the house, first time ten days ago and then five times in one morning last Thursday-very low.

They're not helicopters.

Don't worry, dg, we'll talk among ourselves. Go have a nice time.
@hoosiersands
What is the difference between those Ospreys and a helicopter?
^ Think the Ospreys can fly like a plane and a helicopter...whereas helicopters can only fly as...well, a helicopter!
Maybe 'we' should arrange a DG commenters gathering?! It is a Bank Holiday weekend after all. Yeah I know ...what a crazy idea, but someone 'had to' suggest it!
Here's what Wikipedia and Boeing have to say about the Osprey:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Boeing_V-22_Osprey

http://www.boeing.com/defense/v-22-osprey/
I think DG's fallen in love...
The whole of Team DG on holiday since Tuesday evening? You'd have thought they could arrange holiday cover. :-)
@ Grumpy Anon

Sounds a seriously good idea ! When - Sunday lunchtime, Sunday evening or Monday lunchtime?

And where? (I'm assuming Monday evening might not suit those who have to be up early for work on Tuesday.)

We could even make KLAXON KLUB nom-de-blog badges. :-)

Who knows, perhaps DG might even make an incognito visit. Or he might be the one in the mask !
Sorry everyone, I'd love to be there but will be on the way back from France.
As regards the helicopters (sorry to keep going on) a friend on another site commented that Britain is looking to make an order for them.
I found this odd because a few years ago I went to an aviation museum in Italy and the prize exhibit was a tiltrotor being jointly developed by Agusta / Westland (albeit primarily for civilian use).
Seems strange to be ordering this type of aircraft from the USA when it seems the technology, at least, exists right here at home?
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