please empty your brain below
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It's got worse on the extinguisher front. These days they are all red. Good luck trying to put out a chip pan blaze with a water-filled job. Probably needed a new kitchen (or house) anyway.
Gavin | 15.08.10 - 9:13 a.m. | #
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What, exactly, are you planning on blogging about that will cause such an inferno? Could you..... drumrolllllll..... be about to reveal the Mystery Count???
Antipodean | 15.08.10 - 9:23 a.m. | #
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Reminds me of a fire drill we had when we were on the 11th floor of a tower block. Told us the time in advance - 5 minutes before we _all_ went down by lift and off to drink coffee/beer etc.. Some time afterwards we all went back up in the lifts. The admin were pleased though - perfect evacuation!
Dave | 15.08.10 - 9:38 a.m. | #
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Homophone error in #8 not like your normal perfect prose...
dg writes: Oops, thanks, gone now.
Henry | 15.08.10 - 10:10 a.m. | #
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Last time we had one of these fire drills we drank the local pub dry.
The drills were always held at 14.45pm for some unknown reason. If you spotted the yellow armbands being handed out to the "fire marshals" you could plan a quick getaway that day by having yer coat n' bag ready to take with you.
It was the only time folk actually spoke to each other rather than email the person sitting next to you.
tankard | 15.08.10 - 10:55 a.m. | #
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It's got worse on the extinguisher front. These days they are all red. Good luck trying to put out a chip pan blaze with a water-filled job. Probably needed a new kitchen (or house) anyway.
Gavin | 15.08.10 - 11:02 a.m. | #
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@Dave: If you do the job properly the first fire drill should be notified in advance. The idea is to give everyone confidence that they know what to do if the real thing comes along. Also it identifies real problems (e.g. fire exit won't open, fire warden on holiday and no deputy, Felicity insists on wasting time making sure she has got everything in her ridiculous handbag from which she won't be parted) without causing a panic and possibly leading to injury. Only once it is estabished that the procedure works in controlled conditions and every one knows what to do and where to go should you up the ante ("sometime today", sometime next week", "we will do the next one when it is dark outside" etc.). And don't confuse the test being a test about your reaction with the test being about establishing that procedures work. You are, in effect, one of the testers of the procedure not the person being tested.
Pedantic of Purley | 15.08.10 - 11:15 a.m. | #
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But what about the kittens? Who will save them?
Debster | Homepage | 15.08.10 - 12:18 p.m. | #
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When I lived in a single-sex hall of residence my first year at university, the Warden always held unannounced fire drills in the early morning to find out who had their boyfriends staying over (strictly forbidden in that particular hall even in the early '80s). Unfortunately the one time there was a real fire, when someone forgot to turn off an iron in the laundry room, it happened to be at around 7:10 a.m., so a large proportion of the residents ignored it and stayed in bed. The ones on the corridor concerned were then rudely awakened by frantic firemen bashing on their doors ...
Claire in Osaka | 15.08.10 - 1:21 p.m. | #
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I haven't had a fire drill since I was at school. The Health and Safety Standards in Belgium are something of a joke.
I remember when the Berlaymont building was on fire 2 years ago. Q called a mate of ours' in the building to ask him if he knew that there was smoke billowing out of the top.
"I can't hear you - there's a fire drill going on and I'm just finishing a report for Margot."
"No, Jo THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE!"
That's how seriously we take fire alarms....
zed | Homepage | 15.08.10 - 1:55 p.m. | #
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When there was building work at my job, the fire alarm used to go off now and then. Everybody gathered outside the main entrance. You saw and chatted to collegues you hardly ever saw otherwise. It was rather fun.
Leuconoe | 15.08.10 - 3:24 p.m. | #
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dg burned down
kaka | Homepage | 15.08.10 - 3:31 p.m. | #
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My job is (apparently) so important that a few of us are allowed to remain in the building during fire drills. We're issued with "fire exemption passes", and I've often wondered whether they'd work against a real fire.
martin | Homepage | 15.08.10 - 5:18 p.m. | #
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Gavin: Also extinguishers are usually located by exits. Which means they're useless because by the time you're at an exit you don't need one
Another Andrew | 15.08.10 - 6:01 p.m. | #
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Brilliantly funny post DG! Had to check it wasn't April 1st for a minute!! Fire drills are a bit of a joke, so I'm glad to see you're taking it seriously! Heading to Trafalgar Sq now. Should be there in about 21 hours!
CornishCockney | 15.08.10 - 7:00 p.m. | #
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A couple of days ago I found your blog (it was I who sent you a brief note), then I added your site to my rss feeds on yahoo --
This emergency message is the first entry of yours that I've seen on my yahoo page, nestled amongst standard news headline feeds from various sources... so it was puzzling for a second to read the title of your entry, then I realized the source of the entry and that you seem to be a nut (I mean that as a compliment) and were being silly.
I figured it was possibly an insider joke or partially-disguised plan, since some of the links go nowhere, the map location is plausible for a real meeting-up, and it's a weekend day. I hope for you that it was a fun insider plan, as it would be lovely to meet friends at Trafalgar Square on a lazy August afternoon and drift off to somewhere atmospheric for a cold drink.
[Where I am at the moment, it's 95 degrees F with 75% humidity, the mosquitoes are biting, the level of pollen is very high, there is an official weather alert due to the high ozone pollution level, and there is nowhere scenic that is safe (for a lone female) to walk around, so I'm going to go out and walk (for exercise and sunshine) in a depressing down-at-heel neighbourhood for an hour in this 'swampy'-feeling air.]
Speaking of fire drills, the US version of The Office tv show had a fire drill episode which was pretty good.
cm | 15.08.10 - 9:37 p.m. | #
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@AA: Fire extinguishers are located by the exits so that you make your first priority getting to an exit. If it is safe to do so you then fight the fire having established that you are using the correct type of red extinguisher. Unfortunately the side effect is that the fire extinguisers get used as door stops (a criminal offence but that doesn't stop anyone). Apart from providing a source of oxygen for any fire this can also render CO2 extinguishers useless if the weak joint in the funnel gets damaged due to being bashed around.
Pedantic of Purley | 15.08.10 - 10:13 p.m. | #
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Has the all-clear sounded yet? It's rather chilly down here at the Antipodean muster point. (And no pubs open at this hour of the day...)
Rose | 15.08.10 - 10:46 p.m. | #
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{cough} the smoke is {cough} - too much; this lift is meet coffin for my evil male-baldness-pattern... oh hang on, doors just opened on level 2 - sweet!
Ed | Homepage | 15.08.10 - 10:49 p.m. | #
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How serendipitous that new reader "cm" clambered aboard in time for the fire drill. I think this is the first one we've had in several years, so management have obviously been very lax.
Great Aunt Annie | 16.08.10 - 8:24 a.m. | #
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I love fire drills, I turned up on the first day of my first ever proper job only to find the entire company huddled outside on a Soho street corner, due to one such drill – a great and memorable way to be introduced to all your new colleagues!
Unfortunately I am one of those annoying people who will grab all their personal belongings, sorry.
s | 16.08.10 - 11:30 a.m. | #
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Can I be a fire warden please? Will I get an arm band? Or better still a high vis vest with "Fire Warden" written on the back? Can I have a clip board. Oh, and a megaphone PLEASE!? Can I have time off for training please? Can I get to look stern and huddle together with other fire wardens to compare notes? Can I scold the boss for thinking she is too important to be able to catch fire, and so doesn't need to evacuate?
logistical | Homepage | 17.08.10 - 5:42 p.m. | #
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