please empty your brain below

Just rang the number! Was too curious... didn't expect it to actually go somewhere...


...so, is this real or not? :D

I shall be keeping my legs crossed!


I kept thinking: surely its not April 01!


How prescient of the ODA to have thought of this contingency in their overall risk assessments of the forthcoming celebration of sporting excellemce. It is also, if I might say, typical of your zeal and rigor as a chronicler of London life that this matter is brought into the public domain. However, before everybody gets carried away with a euphoric sense of self congratulation, could I ask you to check one aspect that might otherwise put a spoke in the, no doubt, carbon fibre wheels of Olympic foresight. It is well known that there is a positive correlation between power cuts and a subsequent increase, after a due period of gestation, in the birth rate. It is also well known that the outbreak of cold weather encourages co-habiting couples to cuddle together for warmth. We should all take due note of the lessons of history such as the now infamous New York blackout, which ran from Canada through to New England. It is imperative that the Mayor seizes the initiative here and enters into immediate negotiations with the major, some would say grasping, utility companies and negotiates an amnesty for residents of London from gas and electric bills for the curfew period suggested in your article. In the season of mists and increasing darkfulness let the Olympic slogan be "Let there be light and heat - and keep them on all the time".

PS Perhaps the Mayor could persuade the major television companies to fill their programmes with large numbers of repeated yet not explicit programmes that would induce sleep. Such themes as house improvement by architects wishing to boost their reputation for being edgy or the inner workings of auction rooms spring to mind as being suitable. It's an old trick but it might just work.

Boris Johnson is quoted saying that he knows when to hold back where sex is concerned... I don't think even BJ would have the neck to say that.
Nice one DG, you'd almost think spring was in the air.

ha ha, classic! :)

Ambulances are usually ony needed for emergencies. They aren't generally required for full-term babies - they'd more likely be required for premature babies or difficulties earlier during pregnancy. Therefore, the authorities should be encouraging the local population to abstain from nookie from now up until around 8 weeks before the games start. How about 1st June? That day could be known as Big Bang Friday.

Dude

Absolute classic, really woke me up with a smile and set me up for the day.

Thanks

Les

Good one.

And reminded me again quite how much I hate the whole concept of these "zil" lanes for coca-cola marketing managers... grrrr

*applause*

Surely the Olympic Non-delivery Anytime Now organisation?

As a "Games Maker" volunteer who will be attached to the transport section during the Olympic Games I shall be using these Olympic Lanes at the wheel of a Top of the range brand new state of the art BMW, It will be fitted with a wonderful little gadget that I am told will turn all traffic lights Green as I approach and the last thing that I want is to be delayed by anything blocking my lane, I have already perfected my Upper Class stare for use as I whizz past ordinary folk going about their daily business, so I am right behind this campaign and in fact would like to see it extended to last at least a couple of years.

I'd die laughing if you, DG, suddenly got yourself laid during this period!

Just silly enough to be almost believeable from the Olympic masters!

"Page not found"

Can you check the link again?

Excellent stuff, keep up the good work.

Love the Boris "quote" of "I know we can all pull together ......"

Given that the world's human population is due to reach 7 billion at some stage next week it would be nice, if, Olympics aside, the human race could curtail its rampant breeding more broadly and permanently in deference to other species and the planet writ large.

Actually the logo seems to be encouraging a certain position!

Ha Ha - keep a stiff upper lip!

Love the logo

Love it!

Although, why do I get feeling that this kind of thinking does actually exist in the all-powerful, omnipresent Olympic 'authority'. Hmmm...

This made me laugh. Although I think it is a bit cruel to send the impregnanted ones to the Isle of Wight. Surely no one deserves that!

Lmao! Brilliant!
At first I thought this was for real!! Nothing would surprise me at this point anymore!

2012 transport staff at both the ODA and TfL are falling over themselves laughing at this. Bloody genius!

It wouldn't surprise me if tomorrow I read that this is a real policy being considered by the OBA.

Great post DG! :-)

Kabinga - reminds me of that Cholmondley-Warner video, How to keep not only a stiff upper lip.











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