please empty your brain below

Fantastic! Reminds me of the fake letters on Monty Python!

Although it ought to be:

my fellow passengers and I were being forced to endure some blaring 'R and B' nonsense so that this poor little moppet

with "R and B' in quotes, as if to imply that the correspondent is clueless about musical genres and had to ask a non-ASBO wielding youth what this particular brand of rock and roll was called.

So you're saying that all of these things are OK are you DG? Hmmmm...

The Express and The Mail are just a refection of middle England. Not good, not intelligent, not big and not clever.

Is this is part of a DG PR exercise to restore his image after the 'Daily Mail' accusations around his piece on cyclists recently?

Like it!

As always - pithy and to the point.

The point is...public transport IS like this...and worse...so..???

Can we also cut out the tongues of passengers who a) carry out loud mobile phone conversations and b) speak very loudly to their colleagues, but in a foreign language ("if the can't understand us, they can't hear us")?

What really makes us burn with rage is our
own cowardace. We know we should just step
over and politely say "Sorry to bother you, i was wondering if i could ask you
to turn your music down a little? - It's
absolutely detroying my inner monologue."
Instead we seethe silently.

... and that's why I never take the bus anywhere but in zone 1. I'd rather walk.

Thanks DG, absolutely brilliant!

The problem with England is that perfectly rational ideas like being annoyed with irritating musical interruption / pollution and impoliteness have been harnessed to class issues. It's not about class, nor should it be.

I nearly fell off my computer chair laughing, but it's not a laughing matter is it any more, all these 'bad manners'. Those of us who are forced to endure public transport know it. One other thing that drives me mad is the dreadful 'music' played at full volume by our local market stall for 8hrs non-stop, twice a week. If I worked in a shop or bank nearby, I think I would go out and strangle said vendor, but that makes me 'intolerant', so I can't do it.

I've had the idea for a dream shot for my blog for quite a while now.

In this dream, I visit the offices of "The Worlds Greatest Newsaper" (finding that is worth anyone's click) and I find their nameplate. By this nameplate is a fire alarm point with the usual inscription. I bring with me a very short label, saying "OUT DIANA" and use it to cover up the word "GLASS", leaving the "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK".

We all have our dreams.

You should have force-fed her the 'phone.

Harrummpphhh.

Nice dream Ham.... but what if when you got there you found the sign already read that? It must do surely?

Have I missed the point of this?

As a former-Guardian reader am I supposed to encourage selfish behaviour that makes life uncomfortable, inconvenient or intimidating for other, often vulnerable, people?

Sorry, I was brought up that you were supposed to show consideration for others. Can't say I have implemented that perfectly throughout life, but as Adrian says, it's not a class issue, nor one of political allegiances, or religion/rationality, but simply a desire for 'society' that isn't entirely animalistic.

Ace post!

Very Lemony Snickety... and truly we are living in the age of Bad Manners.

It can be rewarding to just express one's self directly sometimes.. although in a captive space such as a bus that can be risky. Best stick to the editorial columns for guaranteed satisfaction.

There's nothing like a letter to the editor printed in the newspaper to deliver satisfaction. I got a ridiculous traffic ticket a few months back and it was worth every penny since I immediately wrote a scathing letter to the editor that I was able to read the very next morning, delivered to my porch.

Your mission, DG: Do the same for every other daily newspaper this week. Oh yes.

Gert - have you read the Daily Express? That might help.

No, not you, might help give you a giggle or two. It's pure comedy.

All right Nick Griffin - we know that's really you.

Is the (retd) short for retard?

This is just brilliant. Personally, I am convinced that the Daily Express is actually a spoof newspaper that is on this earth purely for the entertainment of people like myself.

A gamble on DE headline:

"Cancer link to pies"

Arf!

("Diana asylum sponger link to RIP-OFF BRITAIN pies", actually.)

Yay flogging!

Erm...pardon the ignorance...what's a gibbet?

"Gibbet usually refers to a gallows-type structure from which the dead bodies of executed criminals were hung on public display to deter other existing or potential criminals".

Watch out for one on a street corner near you.

I have endured something similar (http://shafisaid.wordpress.com/2006/01/30/yob-
culture-2/) and at times trips which were nothing but chapters of incidents.

But who are we to criticize them, they are but what society had made them. And as for their behaviour and adopting some manners, what does it matter, they are damned if they do damned if they don't!

Ahhh I seeee...Thanks.

Nothing like a bit of excarnation to brighten up your journey home.

Today's Daily Express, page 3: "Cancer warning over the bacon sandwich".

I was so nearly right!











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