please empty your brain below |
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Not quite "nobody lived happily ever after". The carpenter wrote out a detailed CV, validating his experience with nationwide rollouts of recumbancy solutions and became a contractor. |
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i hope this is not read in China- we need their knickers and shoes. |
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Speaking as someone who spent two years working as 'ISO, Quality Assurance, Health & Safety and Millennium bloody Bug Officer' for a marketing company, I am not amused. It is clear that you are failing to take your readership's predetermined quality standards seriously. You will be receiving our complaint form in triplicate, you will be placed on a schedule of more frequent monitoring, and you will be subjected to a programme of 'mystery commenting' (but I can't say when) until you fall into line with the mission statement. |
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a bit thinly veiled, don't you think? |
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What - no PIR? (Post Implementation Review). A series of meetings and upwards/downwards/sideways feedback (with requisite forms) which takes place after the end of each project in order to work out what worked and what didn't etc. Marvellous. |
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Oh the joys of working in the private and public sectors. For some reason I don't have these problems... my policy is to have no policies. If the punters don't like it, they can go elsewhere. Strangely I've not had that problem. |
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As I prepare, for the second week running, to go into three days of day long meetings to approve the "project documentation" on a project with an incredibly tight timescale, I found this story strangely familiar. |
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and the conclusion of the Post Implementation Review and Root Cause Analysis is ... "Off with his head!" |
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ha, ha-ha! It's endemic! It's not just my organisation! ha-ha! Thanks dg. (from a qualified EFQM assessor, allegedly) |
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Sadly it's so true |
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You are showing signs of not being a team player, of being reluctant to embrace change and of preventing the company from achieving its goals. Please proceed to HR now to discuss the terms of your voluntary departure. There is no place is this organisation for people who get in the way of extensive and unnecessary processes and form filling. |
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That'll be me next week, although it won't be with the queen it'll be with 'er upstairs - the mighty one. |
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I've spent the last fifteen years "embracing change", where several years are spent "changing working cultures" to "achieve desired outcomes", only to find out eighteen months later they were all wrong. And off we go again... |
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brilliant - this mirrors my work so closely - I'm a civil servant... :-( |
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Sorry - gotta disagree with you about risk assessments. Certainly some people go vastly over the top, but that's due to them being interfering busibodies who misinterpret the rules. Risk assessments are vital in the building industry, which has had in the past an absolutely dreadful record on deaths and injuries. Risk assessments are a way of making sure that the rules are complied with, rather than punishing companies after they are broken (with someone dying or being seriously injured in the process). Sorry to get all serious on you, because your post is extremely funny and pertinent to many things, but there is occasionally (just occasionally) some method to the madness. |
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Katherine - I don't doubt that occasionally there is some method to the madness. But far too often there's just madness without method. |
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sounds like old queenie had had a PRINCE (or) 2 |
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oooohhh la la. That last comment by Mr. Piss Flaps! Too corny, but so clever! Nice to know I'm not the only one living in Dilbert. I just hope I have nicer hair than any of those characters. |
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For anyone not working for a large corperate this may seem funny. Unfortunately there is a large industry churning out new fads like this every day. The worrying thing is the amount of well known companies taken in by it all. You couldn't make some of it up. |
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brilliant. my performance appraisal is next week too. |
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Oh absolutely DG - couldn't agree with you more. And a lot of it is completely preposterous. Sorry - had a momentary humour-bypass, remembering a couple of nasty things I saw as a trainee solicitor in a department helping big employers wriggle their way out of responsibility for things. |
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